


Book of Memories: I Will Remember You

by Sweetpea704



Series: Book of Memories [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Canon Compliant, Coach Victor Nikiforov, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Canon, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Romance, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, Time Period Post Makkachin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2019-10-15 18:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 46,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17534363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetpea704/pseuds/Sweetpea704
Summary: Victor and Yuuri have been married for three years.  After the World Championship in 2019, Yuuri suffers a terrible accident.  With the help of their family and friends, Victor and Yuuri build a precious book of memories to help restore their relationship as a couple, as Yuuri's injury heals.  Although, some memories may never be fully recovered. Victor and Yuuri make new memories, supported by the people that love them.Minako and the Nigigori’s had visited once, just a few days after they got home from the hospital, but it had been awkward. Yuuri had been overwhelmed by the triplets and didn’t know how to answer their questions.“So, you bashed your head through a windshield, huh?” Asked Axel.“Did you bleed a lot?” Asked Lutz.“When are you going to skate again?” Asked Loop, while snapping a picture on her phone.Yuuko turned bright red, snatched the phone away, and tried to redirect the three girls to find something on TV to watch.  Yuuri had turned to Victor nervously at each question and Victor, at a loss for words, ran a comforting hand up and down his husband’s back.Nishigori lost all color in his face and mumbled, “Sorry about that.”





	1. A Day In Victor's New Reality

St. Petersburg, April 30th, 2019

 

      It was a terrible night.  Victor washed his hands in the bathroom and then, after turning off the water, looked at himself in the mirror.  Over the past month, he had grown an impressive beard. It looked like Sean Connery’s beard in The Hunt for Red October. He was thinking that this kind of beard would make other coaches take him more seriously and then gave an ironic laugh.  

 

    “What people think of me is the least of my problems,”  He said to his reflection. Mostly, he looked tired. His piercing blue eyes looked tired. He felt a heaviness in his limbs and in his chest, like someone was sitting on him.  He raised his hand to his face, he stroked his beard, and turned to leave.

 

    Yuuri was out of the bed without any prodding today. He sat in a chair by the window. A brown leather journal lay on his right leg, held in place by his palm, as he gazed out into the morning light. Victor walked up behind him and put his hand lightly on Yuuri’s shoulder, peeking out the window at what was holding his love’s interest so well. Yuuri was watching people walk their dog on the sidewalk.  It was a young couple that had stopped right out front. They were chatting while the small dog sniffed the area around their feet, sometimes walking between them and wrapping the leash around the young man’s legs. Yuuri looked thoughtful, but there was a slight smile on his lips.

 

    “Ohayo, Bicha.” (Good morning Vitya.) Yuuri was speaking only in Japanese today. English was gone. Russian was gone. In the five years that they had known each other, Victor had become fairly fluent in Japanese and Yuuri was very fluent in Russian, from living in St. Petersburg for four of those years. But, they had still mostly spoken in English to each other, since that was the language of the figure skating world.

"I remember my dog, Vicchan, after seeing the little dog in the street." Yuuri said, still gazing out the window. "I remember...a sad memory about him."

 

    Victor put on a smile and replied, “We'll have to add some memories about Vicchan. Maybe Okasan can help us with happy memories about Vicchan too.” Victor also replied in Japanese, since that seemed to be the language of the day.  Victor picked up a notepad and made a note to himself to call Okasan and ask for stories about Vicchan to add to the book. Yuuri would like that.

 

     Just then, Alina had padded into the room. She rested her head in Yuuri’s lap and looked up at him with soulful eyes, tail wagging. “Ohayo, Alina-chan” Yuuri said softly. He absentmindedly scratched her left ear.

    Alina leaned into the attention and her tail wagged faster.  She was a such sweet poodle. She looked at Yuuri with such devotion. When they first got home from the hospital, Alina never left Yuuri’s side. She was almost like an alarm for Victor. She would whimper whenever Yuuri seemed like he was in pain. When he heard her, Victor would be at Yuuri’s side in a flash.  During those moments of drug induced sleep, Yuuri’s eyebrows would be knit together in pain. Victor soothed Yuuri with his touch, stroking his hair or his back until Yuuri had settled down into more peaceful rest. Alina was an amazing dog because she wasn’t even 2 years old and yet she was so patient. It was like she was an old soul, the kind of dog that would be a good comfort animal.

 

    Makkachin had passed away just a year after Yuuri and Victor had gotten married. Victor had been sad, of course, but that last year with Yuuri and Makka had been so special to him. Victor had retired from skating, in favor of coaching, after the wedding.  Every day, Yuuri and Victor had taken the elderly pup for walks around St. Petersburg. In the fall, Makka had started to tire easily. Several times, Yuuri or Victor had ended up carrying Makkachin home. What was heartbreaking was that Makka still sat by the door each evening, waiting for his walk with his people.

    Not daring to board the elderly Makkachin during the skating season, they took Makkachin home to Hasetsu to be with the Katsukis while Victor and Yuuri traveled.  Sweet Makkachin chased seagulls some days and layed around the onsen some days. He spent those four months being absolutely spoiled by the Katsukis and their patrons at the onsen.  Makkachin passed away in his sleep that summer, at home in St. Petersburg. He drifted away, curled up in a patch of sunshine, on his favorite rug.

 

    Some months later, Alina had been a birthday gift from Yuuri.  She was a standard poodle like Makka, but her color was a little more red, like Yuuri’s little Victor.  Victor had chosen the name Alina, which means beautiful. Victor cried, of course. Happy tears just fell from his eyes as he held the squirming little puppy.  Laughing, he declared, “She’s beautiful Yuuri! Just beautiful!” So many wonderful memories…

    Victor picked up the book again and made some notes.

    Victor was glad to hear Yuuri talking, no matter the language. Victor had held his love most of the night as Yuuri had whimpered and cried in his sleep. The headaches continued and seemed so much worse at night. The doctor had wanted to start weaning Yuuri off the heavy pain medications and it was a brutal process.  The pain medicines had helped, but they seemed to simply knock Yuuri out. Over the counter medicines barely contained Yuuri’s pain but wore off in the middle of the night.

    “Yuuri, let’s make breakfast together.” Victor said, while giving a little squeeze to his husband’s shoulder.

 

    “Yes, I’m hungry,” Yuuri replied. He got up and reached for Victor’s hand. Victor loved to hold hands with Yuuri, of course he did. But, this wasn’t the way they had held hands as lovers. This was more like a child reaching out to hold his parent’s hand when he was in a strange place.  Still, Victor was moved to see how intrinsically Yuuri trusted him. Yuuri didn’t remember Victor, not as his lover, not as his husband. But, Yuuri knew Victor was good. He knew Victor was important to him.

 

    Their apartment in St. Petersburg wasn’t terribly big, just one bedroom, but it was a stylishly furnished studio apartment. It had an open floor plan and had high ceilings that made it seem bigger. They had chosen this apartment for its location close to their home rink.  When they first moved in, Yuuri looked at the GPS on his watch and said, “If you run up the stairs and straight to the bed, this apartment is exactly 5K away from the Ice Plex door. That is the perfect workout!”

 

“Oh, but we have to run straight to the bed, huh?” Victor remembered teasing Yuuri and pulling him down onto the bed in an embrace. “That does sound like the perfect workout.” They had laughed, kissing playfully, and Makkachin had jumped into the fray, licking their faces and wagging his tail.

 

    The large open kitchen featured a big butcher block island with black metal bar chairs. Victor pulled out the sliced, rolled eggs, called tamagoyaki, from the fridge, and some fruit that he and Yuuri had picked up in the market on the walk home from the Ice Plex yesterday.  "Do you want any vegetables for your porridge?" Victor asked. Yuuri shook his head, "Just eggs."

    “Yuuri, can you dish out some of the rice porridge from the rice cooker?” Victor asked. The therapist gave strict instructions that Yuuri was to do things himself. That he had to do the things that he used to do as soon possible.  Getting back into his routine, being around his things, his pictures, his friends, his family, could help his memories to return.

 

    Yuuri looked a little lost at first and then went and found what he needed.  Yurri used a large spoon to dish out the porridge for himself and Victor. The strawberries weren’t in season here yet, but they were starting to trickle in from warmer climates. These were red and beautiful.  Yuuri sliced them and added them to another bowl. Then, he placed several slices of the rolled omelette, that Victor had prepared, on top of his porridge. He ate every bit. This made Victor smile.

 

    Yuuri didn’t eat much when he was in pain. He didn’t eat and he didn’t talk. He turned inward and became still. Sometimes, tears would silently fall from his eyes. If he was asleep, he whimpered. Maybe this would be a better day.

   Victor cleaned up a bit. Yuuri had come up behind him and put his utensils and bowl in the sink.

    “Thank you for the meal, Vitya,” Yuuri said.  

    “You are welcome, my love,” Victor replied with affection.  Yuuri actually smiled at that! Victor’s heart leapt at this little victory.

 

    “Let’s get ready to go Yuuri.” Victor was wearing layers. St. Petersburg was still rather cold in April, barely reaching even 10℃. He was wearing black running pants, an undershirt, a long sleeve dark grey tech shirt, and a black running jacket. It was form fitting for exercise and did a good job of showing off Victor’s athletic build.  Victor looked over at Yuuri and was pleasantly surprised that Yuuri was getting ready and making appropriate choices for the weather. This injury was so strange. Most things Yuuri knew how to do without any guidance. Victor knew that Yuuri was lucky. Some people with this type of injury had to relearn how to do everything. While actually getting Yuuri to wake up was an issue some days, brushing his teeth, other basic care tasks, and even his ballet and skating knowledge was intact. Maybe it was the sheer number of years that Yuuri worked out daily?

 

    Victor wasn’t really sure that their usual run to the rink was a good idea.  They had done it yesterday and the day before, but then Yuuri was awake all night in pain. ‘ _Doctor’s orders were so vague!!’_ Victor thought, _‘Yuuri was cleared to work out, but, with this stipulation of “stop if you have pain.” However, ice skating led to pain. As a coach, there was a grey area between the working hard that caused usual pain and the working hard that led to your spouse holding you while you whimpered in your sleep all night.’  What if I am pushing him too hard? But, what if I am hindering Yuuri’s recovery because I’m not being tough enough?’_  

    “Sigh. Do the things he used to do. Follow your usual routines,” he recited the therapist’s mantra. Victor was trying to think more like a coach and less like a husband.

 

    Alina was already waiting by the door patiently. Victor snapped on her lead and the three descended the stairs and began the 5k jog to the ice complex.  Yuuri looked fine. Exercising was something that Yuuri seemed really able to focus on. Victor attributed it to muscle memory. If you do something enough times, your body can just do it, without even thinking about it.  Victor remembered hearing about an American athlete who set a world record in swimming, even though he was running a high fever at the time. The endless training, the muscle memory, had overcome the illness.

 

    Yuuri looked good on his run. Victor jogged with Alina in front and Yuuri followed them. Even at crossings, Yuuri would jog in place until the light turned to allow them to cross. When they got to the ice complex, Victor dropped Alina into Yakov’s office to curl up on the rug and Victor and Yuuri went to the weight room.

 

    There was a corner in the room with a mat for warming up. There was also a barre and mirrors, in addition to the standard weights and equipment.  Yuuri used the mats and the barre to stretch and do a light workout. The workout was mostly ballet movements, stretching, and core work using resistance bands. Victor assisted in many of the stretches. Yuuri had lost some flexibility during his 2 weeks in the hospital. The loss certainly wasn’t as bad as it would have been if Victor wasn’t an elite athlete himself and his coach. Even while Yuuri had lain in a drug induced coma for four agonizing days, Victor had spent 90 minutes a day stretching his limbs. The nurses thought it was great and even gave Victor tips and suggestions that might help Yuuri in the long run.

    Yuuri’s skin was pink and had a light sheen of sweat. Victor handed him a water bottle.

     “Thank you, Vitya,” Yuuri said. Victor hummed a reply  

     “How was it? Any pain?” Victor asked.

    “I’m...I’m good,” Yuri replied with a nod of his head.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said nonchalantly, “How about we put on our skates today? Just to go around a few times?”

Yuuri looked at Victor with a blank look. “It will be okay. I’ll be with you,” Victor quietly added.

“...Okay..” Yuuri replied nervously.

 

Victor laced up his skates and then laced up Yuuri’s.  Victor knew he should have Yuuri lace up his own skates. _‘Let’s walk before we can run,’_ Victor thought to himself.  Both pairs of skates had been in Yakov’s office, just in case. This was kind of a moment of truth. This would be Yuuri’s first time back on the ice in 5 weeks. The two snapped their blade guards on and walked out to the ice. Victor could feel Yuuri’s tension as he guided him toward the rink with his hand on Yuuri’s lower back.

  Yakov was talking to Yurio. Yurio was just 19 and seemed to be at the stage where you could actually watch him grow if you looked at him long enough. He was taller than Victor now, right at 1.83 meters, with broad shoulders.  While he still had a slender build, he was solid muscle. Another young man that Victor didn’t know was also speaking with Yakov.

   “Vitya! Yuuri! I am so happy to see you on the ice!” Yakov lit up when he saw the two walking toward him.

    “Yakov, you mind if we do a few laps?”

   “Not at all,” Yakov replied. “These two idiots are almost finished anyway.”

    “Yeah, get to work Katsuki. Victor, take good care of him or I’ll kick your ass.” Yuri said in his usual gruff manner.  Victor knew, however, that was playful for Yuri.

    “Of course,” Victor replied with a smile.

   They stepped out onto the ice, with only a slight pause from Yuuri. Victor held Yuuri’s hand and guided him around the first bend. “See, Yuuri. It is just like riding a bicycle,” Victor purred into Yuuri’s ear.

   

    Yuuri had been tense walking out onto the ice, but Victor’s words seemed to untie some of that tension in Yuuri’s shoulders and arms. Victor could feel it. As they completed their second lap, Victor placed his hands on both of Yuuri’s hips and led him into an inside right Mohawk turn that finished so Victor and Yuuri were skating backwards for their third lap. Victor guided Yuuri into more dance-like footwork, all while speaking softly into Yuuri’s right ear. He was giving him instructions and telling him each movement before they performed it together. Yuuri was famous for his artistic footwork on the ice. Yuuri was, at his heart, a dancer. Victor was initially drawn to Yuuri as he watched him dance at the GPF banquet and then again when he performed Victor’s own free program to _Stammi Vicino_ with no music in the background. Yuuri had perfect timing during the entire routine, like he was making the music with his own body.  Victor could hear the music in his heart whenever he watched the routine online. This moment together, skating with Yuuri, made Victor feel light. It reminded him of when the two lovers had danced together on the ice to _Duetto_ , a pair skate version of _Stammi Vicino_. This moment was like coming home. Yuuri had relaxed into the movements. It seemed like some kind of miracle.

 

     “Shut the fuck up, you asshole!” Yuri Plisetsky yelled at the other young man. Viktor’s eyes flashed to witness Yuri turn and place both hands on the shoulders of the man next to him. The look on Yuri’s face was one of outrage! The young man’s eyes were wide with surprise. Yakov placed a hand firmly on Yuri’s shoulder, grounding him, so that Yuri released the young man with a slight push.

   “Adriane, you need to leave. Yura, calm down!” Yakov yelled.  Adriane grabbed his jacket off the boards, turned, and skated to the opening in the rink. Stopping only to snap on his blade guards, he quickly headed toward the locker room. Yuri was giving Yakov a fierce hug over the boards as Yakov patted him on the back, speaking in his ear.

 

    The scene snapped Victor back into reality. He and Yuuri drifted to the wall opposite Yakov and Victor tried to keep Yuuri’s attention on him. “Uh, Yuuri, what next? Do you want to do a few laps on your own?”

    “No,” Yuuri said shyly. “Skate with me Vitya.”

    “Of course, my love.” Victor took Yuuri’s hand and they did another few laps. Victor was hoping Yakov would clear Yurio from the boards soon. He did, to Victor’s relief. He wanted to keep the ice rink a happy place for Yuuri and so they held hands and skated laps until Yakov had steered Yurio away from the boards near the rink exit.

 

    The couple finished their skate and changed back into their street shoes.  They walked to Yakov’s office and put their skate bags in the corner and snapped Alina back into her lead. Yakov came into his office just then. Victor gave him a quizzical look that said, ‘What was that about?’ But, Yakov just looked at Victor and barely shook his head. Victor knew that Yakov meant that he would tell him later.  

    “Yakov, do you think that you could give us a lift home? How about lunch?” Victor asked.

 

    “That would be welcome, Vitya.” Yakov said with a sigh and grabbed his keys. The three headed to Yakov’s black Mercedes. On the way, Victor called in an order for take-out.  They drove to the restaurant and Victor walked out with two, large brown paper bags. Back at the apartment, Victor and Yuuri got plates and utensils as Yakov unpacked the bags of food. Victor liked that restaurant because although they served Russian home cooking, the owners were Chinese. They were the only place that regularly had rice as a side dish. Yuuri liked to have rice with most meals. Victor unpacked the rice and a thick Goulash stew. There were noodles and some vegetables in the other bag.

 

    Yuuri put his hands together and offered thanks for the meal. He took rice and a heaping spoonful of the stew on top. He also took a spoonful of the roasted root vegetables. “I really developed a taste for potatoes in America,” Yuuri said suddenly.

    Victor looked up in surprise! “Really, Yuuri? What else did you learn to eat in America?” Victor was blown away by sudden memories and wanted to encourage Yuuri to talk about them.

    Yuuri looked thoughtful, “Chili. That isn’t a big thing in Japan. I think. It tastes good over rice though.  My friend...my roommate...” Victor could see Yuuri starting to struggle for the rest of the memory and didn’t push him.  

    “I’ve had chili in Detroit. It’s not bad,” Yakov said.  “Chili dog is best.” Yakov added. Yuuri and Victor looked at each other and smiled. After lunch, Yuuri went to take a bath and a nap. Sleep was an important part of healing.  Since Yakov hadn’t left, Victor figured that he wanted to talk to him.

 

    “Vitya, I figured you were wondering what was going on with my Yuri,” Yakov said.

    “What has Yura done now?” Viktor sighed.

    “You know, the accident was hard on Plisetsky. He has always looked up to your Yuuri and considers him a friend, even when he acts like an ass,” Yakov explained. “Adriene said he thought that the training that you are doing with Yuuri…that it was a waste of time.”

    The words were like a punch to the gut.  “What do you think Yakov?” Tears were forming in Victor’s eyes. He instinctively wiped them away.

    Yakov leaned forward toward Victor and looked him directly in the eye. “Vitya. I think it is the most important thing that you will ever do! Fight for Yuuri, Vitya! What you are doing, it is better than any therapy money can buy. Yuuri isn’t some couch potato. He could never be happy that way. He is still an elite athlete. Anyone could see that when you were skating together today.”

    Victor got up, crossed the space between them, and embraced Yakov. Tears were falling from his eyes.

    “I know Vitya.” Yakov said softly. He held Victor firmly. “I am here for you.”

 

    Later, Yakov had taken up the book and sat with a pen at the kitchen table. With a smirk on his face, he was writing down a memory of him having to kick Victor and Yuuri out of Ice Plex so that he could go home.  He wrote, “You and Vitya always work hard and are a good example for the other skaters. Yura looks up to you both. Once, Yura fell asleep in the locker room. When he woke up, all of the lights in the facility were turned off and the doors were locked. Yura called you and Victor to come and rescue him. He was afraid to call me because I would yell at him for being an idiot. Of course, I found out anyway. Also, I did yell at him for being an idiot.” Yakov chuckled as he finished writing. This story was a little payback for making a scene on the ice this afternoon.  Victor took the book from Yakov and quickly read what Yakov had written, adding his own chuckle at the memory. It was almost twilight when Yakov left.

 

    The rest of the evening, Victor did paperwork. There were still bills to pay. Yakov had hinted that he could use another coach to work with him on his staff. They would have to be younger students that didn’t have to travel far away or maybe he could focus on choreography or jumps with the older skaters.  Another option was to move to Hatsetsu. Okasan Katsuki had offered to knock a few walls down and basically build the couple an apartment in the onsen. They would essentially combine Victor and Yuuri’s old room and a bathroom that was right next door. Victor wasn’t sure what the right answer was. “Sigh,” Victor would need to make the decision about moving before taking Yakov up on his offer. If Yuuri was to compete again, it was maybe better to stay in St. Petersburg where there were many more resources and rinkmates to push him.

    Interestingly, that final year of skating with Yuuri before the wedding might save the day. Victor had recaptured his world record from Yuri Plisetsky and Yuuri still held the free skate world record. Victor, Yuuri, and the couple together were still marketable and had sponsors. They mostly just had to wear their products and post things on social media.

    Victor glanced over at Yuuri. He was reading the book.  The book held their memories as a couple. The therapist had Yuuri writing some of the things that he remembered in the book while he was in the hospital. One of Yuuri’s nurses had suggested that Victor write in the book too. That way, the book could help to pull them back together as a couple. It was a brown leather journal.  

    

   “I should write about liking chili and potatoes from America in here,” Yuuri said.

    “Sounds good,” Victor said, rather distractedly. His attention had been drawn back to the pile of hospital bills. Some of them were in Japanese and some in English.

    Uncertainty crept into Yuuri’s voice.  “Maybe it isn’t important enough,” Yuuri sighed.

 

    Victor put down the paper he was looking at. He looked properly at Yuuri. He was sitting on the floor, leaning with his back against the couch. Alina was resting her head on Yuuri’s thigh, the rest of her sprawled out on the floor. The book was perched on Yuuri’s other bent leg, so he didn’t have to hold it up. On the coffee table in front of him, Yuuri had scattered a bunch of photos. He would often read a story and then find the picture that went with it.

 

    “My love, all your memories are important enough.” Victor got up and sat next to Yuuri on the floor. With his right arm, Victor pulled Yuuri close to his side. He put his hand on the right side of his face and pulled Yuuri’s head toward his own head, until they touched. Victor was thoughtful suddenly, stroking his husband's hair with his thumb back and forth above his ear. Victor knew how food spoke to Yuuri...

 

    “Let me add another memory to this book, okay?” Victor pulled the pen he was using to do bills out from behind his ear.  Victor began to recount to Yuuri how Yurio had gotten his nickname. 

    “Ne-chan named him Yurio.” Yuri stated it. It wasn’t a question. “I remember that Vitya!”

    “That’s right, Yuuri, she did,” Victor said. His face split into a grin.  Victor continued, a fluttering feeling blooming in his chest. He told him the story of the two programs and the competition between the two skaters. “While Yurio had asked me to be his coach as his reward, you know what you asked me for?” Yuri looked up at Viktor. “You asked me to eat with you. You wanted to eat Katsudon with me when you won your competitions. It made me feel like I was precious to you. Never before had someone said that they just wanted to spend time with me and share their favorite meal.”

    “I like this memory. I'm glad I made you happy,” Yuuri replied, leaning into Victor’s shoulder.

 

    Later, while looking online for pictures, Victor reflected back on the memory that he had written out for Yuuri. Surely, when Yuuri had confessed that all he wanted was to eat with Victor, Yuuri had rekindled feelings in Victor that hadn’t been nurtured since the infamous banquet after the Sochi GPF.  Back then, Victor, himself, continued to fan that little flame in his imagination overnight. The next day, after asking Yuuri what quad jumps he could land, Victor had gotten right into Yuuri’s space as he talked to him. If Yurio hadn’t had been there, Victor always wondered if that encounter would have ended in a kiss. “Sigh,” Victor could use a kiss right now.

 

   Victor found a picture on the internet from Hot Springs on Ice. It was a picture of the couple on the podium. Victor had his arm around Yuuri, while Yuuri was holding flowers and a little trophy topped with the Ice Castle’s Ninja mascot. Victor taped the picture into the book below the story.

 

    It was bedtime. Victor was wearing a pair of pajama pants and Yuuri was in a t-shirt and boxer briefs. Both slid into bed, just like they had always done the past 4 years. The first week home, they stayed on their own sides of the bed. Both of them, however, were like heat seeking missiles and by the second week, they were once again sleeping in each other’s arms. Sleeping in each other’s arms was like a healing balm for both of them.  It gave Victor hope that Yuuri’s memories, of them as a couple, were in there somewhere. He had hope that these memories would bubble to the surface like a spring. With Yuuri in his arms, he could close his eyes and forget his sadness and longing for a little while. It was better. It was better than the empty ache of those two weeks when Yuuri was in the hospital.

   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The athlete who made that world record was swimmer Ryan Lochte. He and several other American athletes suffered from a stomach bug that they picked up in the athlete's village in Beijing. When he earned the World Record in the 200 IM, he had a temperature of 103.


	2. An Appointment with Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is in a really good place. Victor and Yuuri head to Saitama for World Championships and have a great time. Then, the night of the accident...

Saitama, Japan, March 17, 2019

 

    It had been an amazing vacation in Tokyo.  Although Victor and Yuuri had been to Tokyo many times individually, Victor and Yuuri had never been to Tokyo as a couple.  They had done their homework and booked rink time locally, so that they could come a few days before they had to be in Saitama.  After working out, they shopped and sometimes ate in the Solamachi shopping mall, visited the tourist spots, like the Tokyo Sky Tree, and checked out several wonderful places to eat.  Victor even took Yuuri to the Sky restaurant as a treat. The food was "Vkusnyy" and a tourist used Victor’s phone to take a great picture of the couple with Mt. Fuji in the background. It was enlightening to check out the couple’s different points of view on their Instagram accounts. Victor’s account showed selfies of the couple basically in front of every fountain, art work, and famous building in Tokyo. Yuuri’s account had a fraction of the pictures, but was a nearly complete catalog of what they ate, with a sprinkling of impressive coffee art. Interestingly, both Yuuri and Victor had a few pictures of cute dogs they encountered in Tokyo.

    The competition was going to be just as much fun. Chris was was making his coaching debut at the World Championships. His protege, Kurt, was only seventeen and showed a lot of promise. Kurt’s style was very athletic and dynamic. Chris cornered Yuuri one day after morning practice in Saitama and asked for tips on how to add a little more artistry to boost Kurt’s presentation score.

 

    “I have a basic understanding of how Viktor helped you achieve your eros Yuuri, but since Kurt is 17, that is absolutely out of the question,” Chris teased.

    “Chris!” Yuuri exclaimed, turning beet red. “That’s not even true...for the most part,” Yuuri added. Even Yuuri had to acknowledge that Viktor was always more...handsy...with him.

 

    Shifting gears with a shake of his head, Yuuri leaned forward to give emphasis to his words.  “Seriously Chris, what made Victor the perfect coach for me was that he recognized strengths that I already had. Victor is the one who gambled on my stamina and pushed my jumps to the second half. Also, he maximized the difficulty of my step and spin components to boost my presentation score. He learned about me as a skater, and then he customized my performances to my strengths. Don’t try to change Kurt. Get to know Kurt and use the gifts he has.”

 

    “Yuuri, you should definitely think about coaching,” Chris said, suddenly more serious. Just then Victor had walked up to the pair and slipped his arm around Yuuri’s waist. He lightly kissed Yuuri’s cheek in greeting.

    “Victor, our little skater has grown up and become so wise,” Chris teased. Yuuri rolled his eyes.

    “There is no doubt that Yuuri will be a much better coach than I ever was Chris,” Victor replied lightheartedly. “He has the benefit of living through all of my awful mistakes coaching him.”

    “Well, I know you only married me so I wouldn’t fire you as my coach,” Yuuri teased in reply. He said this as he put both of his hands on Victor’s cheeks and gave him a chaste peck on the lips.”  Victor hummed in reply.

    “What do you say boys? We should probably drink,” Viktor crowed.

Yuuri knew the perfect place.

 

_______________________________________________________

 

August 2018, St. Petersburg

 

    Yuuri had never had such an easy time planning his routines for the skating season. He was in a good place in his life. He loved getting up every morning. He was married to his very best friend. Yuuri was just comfortable in his own skin.

    His theme for this year was “Confidence”. His song for his Free Skate was Francesca Battistelli’s - The Breakup Song. It was a song about a person making a phone call to break up with “Fear”. The first time Yuuri had heard the song he just kind of laughed. “Victor, this is my new favorite song,” Yuuri had said. He had figured it was a sort of battle cry against the anxiety that had held him hostage throughout the years.  “Victor, I can just picture throwing a perfect quad flip when she sings _fear you don’t own me_!” Yuuri said this with a sparkle in his eye. “Do you want to see that Victor?”

    Victor’s face split into a grin, “I do!”  

     _The Breakup Song_ was one of the only songs that he had ever linked on social media. Yuuri was amazed at how many people were also moved by the song. There were thousands of comments and likes on the post.

 

  “Victor. If I’m breaking up with fear in the free program, what if I go for that quad loop in my Gala performance. I want to test it in front of people,” Yuuri had said thoughtfully.

    “Yuuri, I certainly think you can do it. You’ve been landing it very consistently in practice.  You have Yura wanting to add it now. How many other quads are we talking though? How about if we keep it to three for the Gala? We’ll focus on the loop, but put it in the front half and let’s just have fun with it,” Victor replied. Yuuri wasn’t getting any younger. He certainly felt landings a lot harder than he did four years ago. The tube of Icy Hot in the bathroom attested to that. There really wasn’t any reason to risk injury in the Gala, but it was a fun place to try out new jumps and combinations.  “What’s the song?” Victor was curious.

 

    “It is a cover of _Rewrite the Stars_ that is done by the Piano Guys,” Yuuri replied. “We’ll need to edit the song for time, however. I’ll text you the link.” Victor listened to the song and really liked it. “This has a lot of potential. There are a lot of sections where I can see you adding footwork and spins.  I can edit the song this evening.”

 

    “Victor, I love you,” Yuuri had said suddenly. “You are always there for me and….. you always ….meet me where I am.”

    “Of course I do Yuuri. It’s because...I love you too.” Victor smiled as he said this and walked across the room to where Yuuri was sitting on the couch. He bent over and cupped Yuri’s cheek. Victor softly kissed Yuri, gently tugging at his bottom lip as he pulled away.  Then, he took his husband by the hand and led him to their room. As the door clicked, Alina climbed up on the couch, sniffed the spot on the couch and turned in a circle three times. Finally satisfied, she curled up in the warm spot where Yuuri had been sitting and closed her eyes.

 

__________________________________________________

 

March 23, 2019,

 

    It had been a glorious World’s competition. Yuuri’s free skate, where he was “breaking up with fear”, had pushed the boundaries of his stamina. The song itself was whimsical and fun, unlike the super dramatic offerings of some of the other competitors. His costume was designed to look like a royal blue shirt and black pants, but it was actually one piece.  The top of the shirt sparkled, but faded toward the chest, almost like rain. Yuuri had thrown four flawless quads in his program. His score was right under his World Record and was good for a gold medal.

    The podium at the Saitama Super Arena was like a family reunion. Yuri had taken second with a beautiful performance to the song _Bring Him Home_ from the Broadway musical, Le Miserables.  His costume was brilliant. It was reminiscent of the musical and featured a rather open shirt that showed off his ridiculous muscles.  Gone was the willowy boy. This was the debut of Yuri Plisetsky, the man.

    The bronze went to Otabek Altin. Otabek had a couple of years off the podium after a rapid growth spurt. It was like he had to get used to his body again. Always innovative, he took to cross training on a trampoline, rather than adding ballet. Otabek was ridiculously strong and gymnastic. He was almost the opposite of Yuuri Katsuki. While Yuuri focused on his Presentation Score, Altin was all about the Technical, adding more difficult entries and other score boosters to his quads.

    Yuuri was so pleased about his friends sharing the podium with him that he grabbed his phone from Victor and actually posted a selfie of the three of them together. He posted it to Instagram before he even got off the ice. Yuuri knew Pichit would love to see it. Pichit had opted out of Worlds to allow the healing of some tendonitis that had become a hassle during Four Continents.

    The party after Worlds was fun this year. They danced and got to catch up with a lot of their friends. After only about two hours, however, Otabek and Yuri slipped out and headed to a Hawaiian Restaurant that specializes in amazing pancakes.  Several of the other younger skaters, including Kurt, went with them. So many of the younger skaters left the party that it started winding down earlier than usual.

    Yuuri Katsuki liked to watch their spending and didn’t see any reason to leave a party early when the food and sake was free. Victor and Yuuri fixed some more plates, refilled their glasses, and found a table where they could visit with Chris and his partner Gian.  About midnight, the friends decided to walk together back to the hotel, which was just across the street from the restaurant that hosted the party. They were full of good food and sake and felt refreshed from the good company. Victor was so very happy for Chris and Gian. Gian was a grounding presence for Chris. As they left the restaurant, Victor hung back a little with Yuuri. As Victor took his husband’s hand, he whispered in Yuuri’s ear, “Maybe there will be another wedding soon?” Yuuri looked at Victor and smiled. “I like him. They are really good together, aren’t they?” Yuuri replied softly. Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand in reply.

 

    The men waited at the crosswalk to cross.  They were ready to get out of the cold. Victor was talking animatedly with Chris about Kurt’s performance this evening. Yuuri had taken off his gloves and stuffed them in his coat pocket so that he could put on his mask. Soon, the light changed and they started to cross. When Yuuri pulled out his gloves, one of them fell into the street. As Yuuri bent to pick it up, he saw bright lights and heard Victor scream, “YUURI!”

____________________________________________________

 

2:30 AM, March 24, 2019, Saitama Medical University International Medical Center

 

    “Okasan, there has been an accident. Yuuri….” Victor choked off a sob into his phone. Vividly, he saw in his mind’s eye Yuuri rolling up the hood of the black car, smashing the windshield, and dropping into the road. He shook his head to dispel the vision and regain his composure. “We are in the Emergency Room right now,” he said evenly. He didn’t want to frighten Yuuri’s mother unnecessarily, but he wanted to keep her informed. “I’ll call you after I know something.”

    Immediately, Victor received a text from Mari. He pulled up his Japanese keyboard and texted her a summary of the events.  Yuuri dropped his glove. The driver had run the light, but swears he hadn’t seen Yuuri until it was too late. Yuuri had been wearing his navy blue wool coat. It was probably hard to see.  Victor didn’t tell Mari about his sweet Yuuri rolling up the hood...or the blood on Victor’s glove and the windshield of the car. Victor felt very lucky that he spoke Japanese. This was overwhelming enough without having a language barrier.  Victor’s Japanese had certainly been tested as he was interviewed by the police.

    They were seated in the waiting room of the ER.  Gian was leaning up against Chris in the corner, snoozing.  Chris was absently scrolling through his phone. Every once in a while, his eyes would close and the scrolling would briefly cease.

    “Chris, take Gian back to the hotel,” Victor placed his hand on Chris’s arm gently. Chris snapped awake.

    “Victor! What time is it?” Chris asked, stretching.  

    “It is nearly 3 AM,” Victor replied. “Take Gian to the hotel and get some sleep. I’ll call you when I know something.”

 

    “I probably should. Victor, I’ll come back later, okay? I’ll bring coffee. I just need sleep and a shower.” Chris gently shook Gian to wake him, speaking French softly in his ear. Gian stood and stretched.

    “We’ll be here a few more days, Victor. Let us know what we can do,” Gian said, placing a hand on Victor’s arm. Victor gave him a one arm hug.

    “Je vous remercie Gian,” Victor replied.

 

_________________________________________________

 

5:00 AM, Saitama Medical University International Medical Center

 

    Victor snapped awake suddenly. He looked around and noticed that the waiting room had emptied out considerably. A single elderly gentleman sat, hunched over, legs apart, his hat clenched in front of him with both hands. Victor stood up and walked over to the nurse at the window.

    “Can you help me?” Victor asked.

    “Yes?” the nurse replied.

    “I’d like to know what is the status of Yuuri Katsuki. I’ve been waiting for hours.”

    “We are still trying to reach his family,” the nurse replied.

    Victor felt a twinge in his chest. “I am Yuuri Katsuki’s husband. I am his family,” Victor replied. As Victor said this, he fingered the ring on his right hand.

    The nurse looked a little surprised. “I am so sorry sir! I didn’t realize…” she sputtered. “Another nurse, who is a fan of skating told me you were his coach. Let me find out where he is now.”

 

    Victor walked away from the nurse and stood for a moment with his right hand rubbing his forehead back and forth. Victor probably dozed off about four in the morning, meaning that he’d had about an hour of sleep. Annoyed, he couldn’t believe that he’d basically been sitting in the waiting room all night because the nurse in the ER wasn’t a skating fan.  “Sigh,” he could feel a tension headache building in the back of his head, right behind his right ear. Victor spotted a coffee pot in the corner. He walked over and poured himself a cup. They actually had creamer there and sugar. He essentially fixed himself a poor man’s latte. Viktor took a seat. He clutched his coffee in front of him like it was some sort of life preserver.

 

    Another nurse walked through the wooden double doors and towards Victor.  “You’re Victor Nikiforov, yes?” the nurse inquired. Victor stood up a little too quickly and slopped a little of the coffee onto his hands.

    “Ah!” Victor exclaimed. “One second.” He crossed the space to the coffee pot in three long strides and grabbed a few napkins. After cleaning his hands, he turned back to the nurse. “Gomen.”

 

    “Nikiforov-san, we apologize for the misunderstanding, please follow me to the family waiting room where the doctor will come speak with you.”  The nurse motioned for Victor to follow her through the double doors. They walked to a bank of elevators and walked into one that had appeared right as they walked up. “We will have some paperwork for you to fill out if that is okay,” the nurse said. Victor nodded his head.

    “Of course,” Victor replied. He had expected that sooner, but if they were trying to reach Yuuri’s  family, why wouldn’t you ask his coach? Victor shook his head. Later, Victor found out that they had tried to reach Yuuri’s family by contacting the JSF, who were hosting the World Championships.

    They reached the family waiting room in the Intensive Care Unit. Victor briefly took a seat, but then stood up quickly as the doctor walked into the room.

    “I was told that you speak English rather well. I am Dr. Nakamura,” he said, while taking Victor’s hand in a firm handshake. Have a seat Mr. Nikiforov. I am sorry to meet you under these circumstances.” Dr. Nakamura sat in a chair across from Victor.

     “You also speak English very well doctor.” Victor said, as he returned to his seat.

    “Yes,” he replied, “ I attended university and medical school in the United States”

 

    “How is Yuuri?” Victor asked evenly. The concern was showing clearly in Victor’s posture and voice. Victor was trying very hard to hold it together, for Yuuri’s sake, but, Victor was so tired that it took all of his concentration.

 

    “I am sorry to say that Katsuki-san has suffered a very serious injury.  He has had a traumatic brain injury and he has several bruised ribs on top of that. He has had some seizures and we have placed Katsuki-san into a medically induced coma. This will protect his brain, letting it heal, and it will help with the swelling.”

 

    “Is he going to be okay? There was so much blood.” A sob choked in Victor’s throat again, he brought his hand up to cover his mouth.

 

   “Actually, while Katsuki-san did have some minor lacerations, including the one on his head, he only required a few stitches. We were able to use surgical glue and basic wound care to close most of them. The big cause of worry is what is happening with Katsuki-san’s internal injuries. A sudden impact, like what he had with the windshield, is a very common cause of traumatic brain injury. The next 24 hours to 48 hours are crucial and we will watch him very closely.”

 

    “Can I see him?” Victor said softly.

    “Uh, I’ll see what we can do,” the doctor replied, rising from his seat. “Mr. Nikiforov, you may want to contact Katsuki-san’s family.”

    “Right,” Victor took his phone out and stared at it for a moment. He dialed Mari’s cellphone. He didn’t think that he would be able to get the words out if Okasan or Otosan answered the phone.

 

    “Victor! How is Yuuri? We’ve all been waiting by the phone for hours!” Mari exclaimed, the desperation clear in her voice.

    “Gomen, Neechan, They left me sitting in the waiting room because they were trying to reach Okasan and Otosan, probably through the JSF. I bet you get a call in a few hours when they have people in the office.”

    “What a fail. No skating fans in the ER, huh?” Mari replied.

    “I guess not,” Victor said. Victor related what Dr. Nakamura had said. “Do you think you can come?”

    “I will talk to Okasan,” Mari considered. “If he is in a drug induced coma, I wonder if it is the right time to come? Maybe it is better to come later. We would probably have to close the Inn and it would take some time to travel there.” Victor could tell that Mari was basically thinking out loud, more to herself than to him.  “Victor, have you seen him?”

    “They are working on that now,” Victor replied.

    “Okay, I will talk to Okasan and Otosan and I will get back to you. Let us know of any changes,” Mari gave her goodbyes and the call ended.

    Almost as soon as Victor got off the phone, a hospital employee showed up with a stack of paperwork on a clipboard. The paperwork was something like torture. The tension headache throbbed in the back of Victor’s head. His limbs were heavy and his eyes were achy with fatigue. He needed to take his contacts out, sleep about 10 hours, eat, and maybe take about 3 Ibuprofen.  

    Victor finished the paperwork and wandered out to the nurse’s station to hand it off to someone. “I have completed the paperwork,” he said in English.

    “Ah, English?” the nurse said in very accented Japanese.

    “Watashi wa nihongo mo hanashimasu,” Victor offered. _(But, I also speak Japanese.)_  

    “English, okay,” the nurse said with a smile.

    “Can I see Katsuki-san now?” Victor asked, the weariness evident in his voice.

    “Yes, yes,” She replied.

    Victor was led just across the nurses station to the 2nd room on the left. A patterned blue curtain obscured all but the end of the bed. Victor walked around the curtain and got his first glance a his precious Yuuri.  The hospital mattress was high and the part of the mattress where Yuuri’s head was was slightly elevated. Yuuri wasn’t wearing his glasses. A bandage covered his head and a tube was affixed to Yuuri’s mouth. His ruffled hair poked out of the bandage like weeds trying to grow in the cracks of the sidewalk. Blankets covered Yuuri up to his chest and covered everything except his right arm which held an IV and was by his side. Victor noticed right away that they had removed Yuuri’s ring. There was an indentation in Yuuri’s ring finger and there was a little pale line where the ring had sat for four years. The IV stand, immediately by the right side of the bed, had 2 different bags hanging on it. Victor walked around the bed to Yuuri’s left side and pulled the chair closer.

    “Let me?” said the nurse gently. She lowered the bar on the left side so Victor could get closer to Yuuri’s side. “I’ll leave you now,” she said. She picked up a little box that was on a cord that was draped over the left side of Yuuri’s mattress.  Pointing to the little button that had a basic drawing of a nurse, she said, “Press this if you need me.”

    “Ah, before you go. Where are Yuuri’s things?”

    The nurse motioned behind him as she quietly walked out of the room. By the window, there was a white bag with the hospital logo. It was sitting on a sort of table that you could roll over the hospital bed to eat meals. Victor looked in the bag and pocketed Yuuri’s ring, wallet, phone, and glasses for safe keeping.  Victor was amazed neither the glasses nor the phone were damaged in the accident.

    Finally alone with his love, Victor pulled the chair up until his whole chest pressed against the high mattress. Victor fished Yuuri’s hand out of the blankets and held it with both of his hands. He brought Yuuri’s knuckles up to his lips and kissed them. “Yuuri, my love….my love. I am here,” he whispered as if in a prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments. I really enjoyed writing the first part of this chapter. Victor and Yuuri have a great relationship at this time and Yuuri has grown up so much.  
> He really is sitting on top of the world. Then, the author has to come along and screw it all up. Gomen...


	3. Note To Self: Don’t Look Up Traumatic Brain Injury From the Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor finds a bit of a routine in the hospital. But, he foolishly googles his husband's injury...

    March 27, 2019, 9:00 AM

 

    Victor walked into Yuuri’s room holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a black, rectangular gym bag with essential supplies in the other hand. The initial shock of the accident had ebbed a bit.  It had been decided that they would try to bring Yuuri out of the coma tomorrow. If he had seizures, they would stop the attempt and allow the brain more time to heal. Meanwhile, Victor had made a checklist of things that he had to take care of.  He didn’t know how long they would have to stay in Japan.

 

    Okasan had suggested that Alina be sent to Hatsetsu and that the couple plan on staying at Yutopia until Yuuri was able to travel. Victor agreed and their neighbor, who had been keeping Alina for them, had taken her to the airport last night for an overnight trip.  The plane should arrive this afternoon. Otosan was taking the Yutopia Van to Fukuoka Airport to get her.

 

    The JSF had been absolutely amazing after the initial communication difficulties between them, the hospital, and Yuuri’s family. As predicted by Victor, the JSF “informed” the Katsuki family that Yuuri had been in an accident around 10:00 AM the next morning.

    But, after several deep bows and apologies to Victor, the JSF had really come through. They worked with the hotel where they were staying during the competition and Victor was told he could stay there as long as he needed. The JSF was footing the entire bill.  They were even continuing the stipend for food while he was still staying at the hotel. Yuuri and Victor got the stipend because Yuuri was a member of the national team.

    The JSF gave a press conference informing the public of the accident and it was national news here in Japan, that the Japanese World Figure Skating Champion had been hit by a car that ran a stop light.  After that, it seemed all the nurses were skating fans.

    So many gifts were being sent to Yuuri that there wasn’t any way that they could really keep them. Yesterday afternoon, Victor had walked through the Cancer Treatment Center and autographed many of the stuffed poodles and stuffies that looked like sushi and passed them out to the appreciative patients. Tanaka-san, Yuuri’s nurse during the day, had suggested the idea.

    Victor didn’t know what he would have done without Tanaka Amane. She was an amazing nurse. She was kind and observant. She had a knack for telling a person what they needed to hear at that exact moment.  Victor had met her the first morning when he had snapped awake suddenly, still sitting in the chair that had been pulled close to Yuuri’s bed. He had been resting his head on his crossed arms on the bed, but someone had covered him with a blanket while he slept.  He had met Tanaka-san when he wandered out of the room, like a zombie, looking for coffee.

    Tanaka-san was the one that had convinced Victor to go back to the hotel. “I will watch over Katsuki-san,” she had said. Somehow, that was all the persuasion Victor needed.

    Victor looked over at Yuuri. They had removed the bandage from around his head and the wound on the right side of his face was now only covered with a smaller rectangle bandage. If Victor had known, he would have brought a hairbrush. Yuuri’s hair looked very 90’s anime...spiky. Victor considered wetting Yuuri’s hair with his hands and just trying to slick it down or do something with it. “Sigh.”

    Victor unpacked the gym bag. Being intubated was giving Yuuri a terrible case of chapped lips. Victor brought Yuuri’s lip balm. He applied it quickly to Yuuri’s lips as best as he could around the tube. Then, he replaced it in the bag. He also brought a tube of massage lotion. Victor lowered the bed to his waist level the way Tanaka-san had showed him. He also lowered the head of the bed just a bit, so that Yuuri was lying more flat. He didn’t want Yuuri to be chilled, so he called Tanaka-san.

 

    “Ohayogozaimasu Tanaka-san,” Victor said. _(Good morning Miss Tanaka)_

    “Can you bring me one of the heated blankets?” Victor asked. “It is time for Yuuri’s workout.”

 

    “Of course, Victor-san.” She replied. Victor had insisted that she call him Victor the first day they met. When she returned, she helped Victor switch out Yuuri’s blanket for the warm blanket. “This is so good for Katsuki-san,” she said while straightening the blanket and sweeping the wrinkles out with her hand.

 

Victor gave her a half smile and tilted his head a bit. “Thank you for all the tips and encouragement. If I hadn’t watched you manipulate his legs, I wouldn’t have realized that it was okay to do it.”

 

    “It is more than okay! It can make a huge difference in whether a patient can return to their previous lifestyle easily. For an athlete like Katsuki-san, it is absolutely essential,” she said this passionately. “I will leave you to it,” she said, as she walked toward the door.

 

    Victor uncovered one of Yuuri’s legs. He warmed up the lotion in his hands and began to massage Yuuri’s muscles, starting at the feet. Victor smiled to himself. “Yuuri, there is no way you would let me massage your feet like this if you were awake. You are so ticklish on your feet.” Victor continued, working his way up his husband’s leg to activate the muscles and warm them up. As Victor worked, he talked to Yuuri, just as he would at home. He told Yuuri what the weather was like, what he had for breakfast, and news from friends that had contacted him. Tanaka-san had told him the first day to be sure to talk to Yuuri all the time, that it was good for him to hear familiar voices.  

     "It helps you too, Victor-san," she had said. "It keeps you from getting too much inside your own head." Over the past few days, Victor would sometimes resort to reading news stories off his phone when he ran out of things to say.

 

     Victor put his left hand on the bottom of Yuuri’s foot and his right hand on his knee. He pushed Yuuri’s foot with the left hand and guided Yuuri’s leg with the right hand till Yuuri’s leg was at a 90° angle. Then, he returned the leg to a flat position. He repeated this process for 30 repetitions.  Then, Victor did the exercise again, but this time, he pushed Yuuri’s leg till the top of his thigh touched his stomach. Finally, Victor stretched Yuuri’s straight leg back toward his chest and off to the side. The entire process took several minutes. Victor worked on all Yuuri’s limbs, carefully replacing the warm blanket so that Yuuri didn’t catch a chill, chatting to him all the while.

    About every ½ hour, Tanaka-san would bring Victor a new blanket from the warmer. Once, she had walked in while Victor had basically bent Yuuri’s right leg so that it was right near his face.

    “Wow! Katsuki-san is very flexible!” she remarked.  Victor was so focused on his work, that he was startled.

    “Yes, he certainly is. You know, Yuuri started out as a dancer,” Victor said this with pride and obvious affection in his voice.

    “We’ll dance together soon, won’t we Yuuri?” Victor said as he continued his work.  

    After Victor was done, he sat and drank a bottle of water.  He pulled his laptop out of the gym bag and placed it on the table with wheels by the bed.  He was curious about what to expect when Yuuri woke up.

 

    He tried googling different phrases that had “traumatic brain injury”.  He found a website that talked about the different types of brain injuries. He saw seizures on the list. “Okay, it sounds like this is what Yuuri has.” He clicked and clicked again on outcomes of severe brain injuries, until he finally came to a page on Post Concussion Syndrome. He looked at the symptoms and was taken aback.  The list included things like blurry vision, noise and light sensitivity, mood swings, decreases in taste and smell, loss of memory and the ability to concentrate, and ringing in the ears. He clicked on another website that was a case study of a man who was an athlete with PCS. This man had become violent and beat up his wife. His symptoms were so bad that he even took his own life.   Victor felt a clenching feeling in his chest.

    Next, Victor looked up what the timeline of recovery usually is for brain injuries.  This website said that if you aren’t better in 12 weeks, you probably won’t ever be able to return to your job again. Victor put both hands to his lips in what looked like a prayer. Twelve weeks. _‘Would that be from the time he wakes up? Would it be from the time of the accident?’_ Victor’s mind was racing and full of questions.

    Just then, Victor’s phone vibrated on the table, next to his laptop. The interruption snapped him out of his slight panic. He looked at his phone and it was Mari.

    “Moshi moshi,” Victor answered. _(Hello)_

    “Victor, I’m coming. I’ll be there this evening,” Mari said.

    “You are? Alone?” Victor asked.

    “Yeah. I just had this feeling I should come,” Mari replied. “Can I stay with you? You said you had a suite right? A pull-out couch is fine with me.”

    “Of course! Our suit was two rooms. The other room actually has a decent futon you can sleep on. I’ll leave a key for you at the front desk,” Victor said. “Hey, thanks. I’m worried about tomorrow.”

    “Yeah, Okasan googled brain trauma. First, she cried for an hour and now she is a nervous wreck,” Mari complained. Far away, Victor blushed. He was glad that this wasn’t a skype call.  “I warned her not to google. She is obsessing now about your stay here after he gets out of the hospital. She might just tear the whole place down and rebuild it.”

    “Wow!” Viktor replied. “Maybe Alina will distract her. She is such a sweet girl.”

    “I hope so,” Mari groaned.

 

    Victor stayed in the room until Dr. Nakamura did his rounds at 1:00 PM.

    “Good afternoon, Nikiforov-san,” Dr. Nakamura said.

    “Uh, hello Dr. Nakamura,” Victor replied. Victor was hunched over the laptop and his shoulders were slumped.

    “Are you okay?” he said, knitting his eyebrows together in concern.

    “Tanaka-san has been singing your praises for what you have been doing for Katsuki-san,” Nakamura said with a smile. “He is very lucky to have such a knowledgeable husband.”

    “Yes, well, dealing with injuries, stretching, and moving the body is all a part of figure skating,” Victor said this off hand as he put a hand in back of his neck in a sort of stretch. “Can I ask you a few questions Nakamura-san?”

    “Sure, what’s on your mind?” He replied.

    “What can we expect tomorrow? I mean I read about something called Post Concussion Syndrome…”

    “Ah,” Dr. Nakamura said, as if the answer to a riddle suddenly became clear. “You googled, didn’t you?”

    “I just want to know what to expect,” Victor was trying to sound logical but was really just playing off being defensive.

    “I do want you to know what is going on with Yuuri,” Nakamura said. Victor was surprised that he used Yuuri’s first name, but supposed it was because he had lived in America for so long.

    “I know you love Yuuri and this is all overwhelming,” Nakamura continued. “I’ll tell you what. Let me do the neurological exam I was about to do. From this exam, I might be able to give you good news, okay?”

    “Yeah, okay,” Victor said, resigned.

    “Okay, let’s see here.” Nakamura leaned over Yuuri and looked at his eyes.  “See here Victor, Yuuri’s pupils are the same size. Also, they don’t turn in or out. That is good.” Nakamura said this while removing a small pen-like flashlight from his breast pocket. “Take a look at his pupils as I shine the light on them,” he said. Victor leaned over across from the doctor so that he could see Yuuri’s eyes properly. As Nakamura shined the light on Yuuri’s eyes, the pupil contracted and became smaller.

    “See how the pupil contracted? That is perfect. I would be very concerned if the pupil did not contract or if it did so very slowly,” Nakamura said. “I’m going to do one more test.” Dr. Nakamura opened Yuuri’s eyes with one hand and turned his head with the other. Yuuri’s eyes faced forward a second and then followed his head. Dr. Nakamura was delighted. He looked up to Victor with a smile. “There you go! That is the reaction of a perfectly functional brain stem,” he said. “Victor, I had a Biology professor who told us, “Given the most controlled circumstances, living things do whatever the hell they want,” Nakamura said this and then leaned forward for emphasis.  “I think what he meant by that is that living things are unpredictable. Don’t worry so much about lists of symptoms and case studies. Yuuri’s recovery so far has been the best possible scenario. Let’s save the worry for when something happens that we need to worry about, okay?”

    “Yeah, okay,” Viktor nodded.

  


March 27, 2019, 7:00 PM

 

    Victor was reading a Japanese tabloid to Yuuri. Somebody had left it in the family waiting room and Victor had snatched it up on his trip to get some coffee.  The story was basically the same as every other tabloid story. This movie star likes that movie star. Look at the terrible outfit this movie star is wearing. Look at the stylish outfit this movie star is wearing.

    “I wish you could see this outfit,” Victor said. “I mean...hmmm….maybe it would be a good costume for figure skating, but I wouldn’t go on a date in it.” Victor had really good taste in clothes and he felt it was his job to help his husband have good taste in clothes too.

    Victor looked at the time. It was time to go before Tanaka-san kicked him out.  He packed up the bag on the table and then sat down one more time, looking earnestly at Yuuri’s face.

    “Tomorrow is a big day Yuuri,” Victor said. He took up his hand and kissed each knuckle. I promise I won’t google anymore….At least I won’t google until we are back in St. Petersburg.” Victor said, backtracking a bit. He ruffled Yuuri’s hair a little, trying to make it lay flat a bit. Satisfied, he leaned over and kissed Yuuri’s cheek.

    “Yuuri, my love. I need you to do your best tomorrow, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the encouragement with kudos.


	4. Katsudon, Life, and Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is awakened out of his coma. The challenges of having a traumatic brain injury begin to appear.

March 28, 2019, 1:00

Victor sat by Yuuri’s bed with his chair pulled so close that Victor’s knees fit right under the bed. Yuuri’s left hand was being held in both of Victor’s hands, as Victor leaned forward and rested his elbows on the mattress. Softly, Victor had been stroking the top of Yuuri’s fingers with his thumb in a back and forth motion. Every once in a while, Victor glanced at the rectangular digital clock that was on the wall. Mari was half leaning, half sitting on the window sill in back of and to the the left of Victor.  
“Yuuri, my love,” Viktor purred, “It is time to wake up.”

Yurri just looked like he was sleeping. After Yuuri had passed the neurological exam that the doctor had performed, they had removed the intubation tube. Yuuri had passed the first hurdle. He was breathing on his own. At the same time, they stopped the dose of anesthesia that was keeping him in a coma. Dr. Nakamura wanted Yuuri to come out of the coma naturally, so he wanted to hold off on giving him any kind of narcotic that would act to reverse the anesthesia. If he didn’t wake in a few hours, however, Dr. Nakamura said he would give him a dose of Amytal to wake him up faster. He said that the IV fluids generally were good enough to chase the anesthesia out of Yuuri’s system. Yuuri hadn’t had anymore seizures since he was in the emergency room, so Dr. Nakamura wasn’t too concerned about them anymore.

“Don’t be too anxious if Yuuri sleeps more than usual, even after he gets home. Sleep is healing to the body. He might find that he needs a nap for several months. Also, after a concussion, the brain gets overwhelmed more easily. Even reading and watching television can be too much work for the brain,” Dr. Nakamura had said.

It had been about 90 minutes since they had stopped the anesthesia. Tanaka-san had just exchanged the IV fluid bag a few minutes ago.

“Victor, why don’t you tell Yuuri another story,” Mari said. “I’d love to hear about your trip to Tokyo.”  
“Right,” Victor looked back at Mari and nodded. Victor had been day dreaming. He was waiting for some kind of television movie worthy miracle and the conversation had lapsed. In Victor’s mind’s eye, he had pictured Yuuri waking up and calling out to him. Victor would vault across the room and they would embrace. Then, they would share a passionate kiss. 

Turning back to Yuuri and reality, he paused a moment to consider what would be a good story.  
“Yuuri, remember Sunshine City in Tokyo? Sunshine City is a skyscraper that contains a shopping mall. We went to a place in the mall called Ice Cream City. They have all kinds of crazy flavors like snake ice cream, squid ink ice cream, curry flavor ice cream. So, we each picked three flavors for the other person to try and we closed our eyes and tasted them to see if we could guess what they were,” Victor smiled as he recounted the tale.  
“Wow,” Mari said, raising her eyebrows in interest. “Did you show any mercy on each other?”  
“Not really!” Victor laughed. “Yuuri picked chicken wing flavor, jasmine flavor, and cow tongue flavor.”  
“How awful,” Mari said, “Bleh! What did you pick for Yuuri?”  
“Okay,” Victor said, pointing a finger at her. “Can you believe that they had Katsudon flavored ice cream? Mari brought her hand up to her mouth in surprise.  
“Surely not,” she gasped.  
“Yes. He guessed it right too. Actually, Yuuri guessed all his ice cream flavors correctly. I only recognized the jasmine. My favorite hand lotion smells like jasmine, so…”  
“What else did you pick?” Mari asked curiously.  
“I picked green tea and wasabi octopus. But, the chunks of octopus probably gave that one away.”  
Mari laughed, “I think you were more merciful with your choices. Those were all things that Yuuri likes to eat, at least. The idea of eating cow tongue ice cream,” Mari shook her head trying to get the image out of her mind.  
“You know what Yuuri said about the Katsudon ice cream?” Victor flashed Mari a smile. “It isn’t as good as Okasan’s.”  
Mari’s smile faded a little bit and she answered with a hum.  
“Yuuri, you need to wake up so you can eat Okasan’s Katsudon, okay? We are going to Yu-topia as soon as we leave the hospital.” Victor held onto Yuuri’s hand with his left hand and reached over to rub on his upper arm with his right hand. When he did that, he swore that he saw Yuuri twitch. Victor’s eyes widened.  
“Mari, hand me that bag by your feet,” Victor said excitedly, inspired by the brief movement.  
Victor opened up the gym bag and pulled out the massage lotion that he used before Yuuri’s workouts. He squirted some in his hands and then rubbed his hands back and forth to warm it.  
“Mari, peel back the blanket for me so I can get to Yuuri’s leg,” he said.

Mari understood immediately what Victor was going to do. She had witnessed Yuuri’s morning workout with Victor when she arrived at the hospital. She smirked thinking about it. Yuuri would probably die of embarrassment if he knew she had witnessed that. Yuuri was wearing a hospital gown afterall. When, Victor stretched Yuuri’s leg up to his head...well, yeah...not much was left to the imagination. Mari had gone out for a smoke after that. She figured she’d respect her brother’s modesty, even if he wasn’t awake to appreciate it.

Victor, started at Yuuri’s left foot. Right away, he got a reaction. Yuuri squirmed a bit. Victor smiled, “Those feet are still ticklish, huh.” Victor moved up to his calf. Yuuri quit squirming, but his breathing seemed to change.  
“Yuuri, my love, it is time to wake up,” Victor crooned. “Mari is here and I am here and we are dying to see your big brown eyes.”  
“Hmmmm,” Yuuri hummed.  
“Did you hear that Mari?” Victor said excitedly.

“Hey, Yuuri, shouldn’t you wake up so I can go use the restroom? I’ve been holding it for like a half an hour here, waiting,” Mari teased, but at the same time she sounded a little annoyed.  
“Gomen,” Yuuri groaned. (Sorry) Yuuri’s eyes remained closed.  
“Yuuri’s first words would be an apology,” Mari deadpanned.

Victor had stopped working on Yuuri’s leg and had replaced the blanket.  
He pressed the button to alert the nurse and took up Yuuri’s hand again, placing it in his lap as he sat on the very edge of the bed. Victor held Yuuri’s hand with his right hand and reached out to touch Yuuri’s face with his left hand. He ruffled Yuuri’s hair briefly, soothing his bangs, and then he stroked his husband’s face from his ear to his chin.  
“Can you squeeze my hand Yuuri?” Victor asked. Victor felt his stomach flutter with excitement as he felt Yuuri’s hand move in his. Tears sprang to Victor’s eyes as he gasped with joy.  
“Amazing Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed. Yuuri’s eyes fluttered open. 

Just then Tanaka-san had come into view from around the curtain. Her face lit up with a smile.  
“Katsuki-san, welcome back,” she said brightly. Yuuri’s eyes focused on the nurse.  
“I’m going to ask you some questions, okay? What is your name?”  
Yuuri paused just for a moment, “Katsuki Yuuri,” he replied.  
“How old are you Katsuki-san?” Tanaka-san asked.  
“27?” Yuuri replied but he didn’t sound quite sure.  
“That is right,” the nurse said encouragingly.  
“Do you know where you are?” She asked.  
Yuuri looked at her and then over at his sister, “I’m in Japan,” he said.  
“What is the last thing you remember?” She asked. Yuuri just stared at her. “I…don’t know.” Yuuri looked around. His eyes met with Victor’s and then with Mari’s.  
“Nechan?” Yuuri asked.  
“Yuuri! We’re so glad to see you awake!” Mari’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears.  
Yuuri looked at Victor intently. “I…I know you…”  
“Katsuki-san, what do you do for a living?” Tanaka-san had gently turned Yuuri’s head toward her and she moved in closer to him to gain his attention.  
“I…I…I am a…skater.” Yuuri said, but Victor could tell he was struggling. “I remember….bright lights,” Yuuri said. Victor knew this look. Yuuri’s eyes were wide, tears were forming at the corners of his eyes. This was the look Yuuri had when he was having anxiety.  
Tanaka-san said, “It is okay Katsuki-san. You did wonderfully.” The nurse looked up at Victor and said, “I am going to page Dr. Nakamura.

Victor nodded and then turned back to Yuuri. Yuuri was looking at Victor like he was searching for something.  
“I know you…” he said again quietly, but with an edge of distress, like he had lost something and was desperately trying to find it.  
“Yuuri,” Victor said softly, “It’s okay.” Victor was soothing Yuuri’s hair with his right hand. He cupped his husband’s cheek and then took up Yuuri’s hand with both of his hands.  
“I am here,” Victor said softly, “I will always stand by you.” Victor had purposely chosen the phrase from Stammi Vicino. It was special to them as a couple. Some of the lyrics of the song had even become part of their wedding vows to each other.

Tanaka-san then returned with a cup of ice water, topped with a bendable straw. She handed Victor the cup. “Okay, now that Katsuki-san is awake, we want to get his bodily functions moving again. Drink all of this Katsuki-san,” she said directly to Yuuri.” As she was talking to Yuuri, she was raising up the half of the bed behind Yuuri’s head so that he was sitting. “After that water is gone Nikiforov-san, I want to try to take Katsuki-san to the restroom. So, let me know, yes?”  
Victor was so glad that Tanaka-san had given him a mission. He held the cup up to Yuuri’s lips. He sipped eagerly from the straw.  
“My mouth...is dry,” he gasped after swallowing a mouthful. Victor looked at Yuuri’s chapped lips and asked Mari, who had been just sitting and observing, to get Yuuri’s lip balm from the black gym bag.  
“Sure,” she said. She quickly produced the lip balm and Victor opened the jar. He slathered some of the lip balm on Yuuri’s lips thickly.  
“That should feel a lot better,” Victor said, “Have another sip.”

Soon, Yuuri had finished the cup of water. When Tanaka-san started talking about removing a catheter, Mari saw that this was going to be a major operation and decided that it was a good time to find a place to have a snack and a cigarette. She promised to find Victor a coffee and some food. When she was wandering around before, she had seen a Konbini (Japanese Convenience Store) that she really wanted to try.

Yuuri was catheter free and had a successful visit to the restroom. Tanaka-san had maneuvered the IV stand, while Victor made sure Yuuri didn’t fall. Yuuri was a little shaky at first, but had managed to walk there and back with no falls.  
“Wonderful, Katsuki-san,” Tanaka-san said as she adjusted Yuuri’s blanket after she and Victor helped him get back into bed. “I think you may be able to start walking up and down the hall this evening.  
As soon as Yuuri had gotten back into bed, there was a soft knock at the door. Victor peeked around the curtain and saw Yakov and Yura at the door. Yura looked nervous. Yakov held his hat in front of him with both hands. Victor motioned them in.  
“Yuuri, look who has come to see you?” Victor said with a smile. Yuuri looked at the two men with that same searching look that he had given Victor.  
“Vitya,” Yakov said, “We wanted to see you before we returned to Russia. We are flying out this evening.”  
Most of the Russian team had already left, but Yakov and Yuri had stayed a couple of days after the competition because Yuri was meeting with a sponsor whose main offices were in Tokyo. They had visited the hospital, along with Chris, the second day too. They had brought Victor donuts and coffee from a place called Krispy Kreme. It was an American business that was very popular in Tokyo.  
“Try the donuts,” Yuri had said eagerly, “They are still warm.” The coffee and donuts had been a welcome distraction. 

“Yuuri, I am glad to see that you are awake,” Yakov had said, “Vitya has been so worried about you.”  
Yuuri looked over at Victor, “Gomen….Vitya,” Yuuri said softly. He looked down at his hands.

“Hey, let’s talk out here,” Victor said as he steered Yakov and Yuri out into the hallway. “This probably isn’t the best time for a visit,” Victor said with a sigh. “Yuuri just woke up and he is still pretty confused.”  
“What are your plans Vitya?” Yakov asked.  
Victor sighed, “We are probably going to be here for a while.” Victor reached up and placed his hand on his face and rubbed the beginnings of a beard.  
“Jesus, Victor! You look like hell.” Yuri spoke for the first time since he arrived.  
“Thanks for that Yuri,” Victor replied.  
Victor continued, “We are going to stay in Hatsetsu, probably until he is cleared by his doctor to workout. Then we will come back to St. Petersburg. But, Yuuri just woke up, we don’t know….anything, really. Victor sighed again.  
“Keep us informed Vitya,” Yakov said. Then, he pulled a surprised Victor into a hug. Yakov clapped him on the back three times. Victor soon melted into the hug and put his arms around Yakov in return.  
“Thank you Yakov,”  
“Vitya, you and Yuuri are a part of my family.” Yakov said gruffly. Then, he clapped him one more time on the back and turned to Yura. “Let’s go.”  
Victor walked them to the elevator. As it closed, Yuri said, “Take good care of our Katsudon, Old Man, or I’ll kick your ass!” Victor knew that he was deadly serious. 

Although, Mari was on the hunt for coffee and food for Victor, he decided that you never could have too much coffee. He picked up a cup of coffee from the family waiting room near the elevator. While he was in the waiting room, Victor called Okasan and gave her the update. It was probably too soon for Yuuri to talk to them on the phone, he decided. The doctor had said that it took about 24 to really start feeling normal and that was just from the anesthesia. The effects of the brain injury were another matter.

When Victor walked back into the room, Dr. Nakamura was sitting on a chair on Yuuri’s left side. It sounded like he had been asking Yuuri the same types of questions that Tanaka-san had been asking Yuuri earlier.  
Victor walked to the other side of the bed and took Yuuri’s hand as he sat down. Yuuri looked relieved to see Victor’s face.  
“Vitya,” Yuuri said in a sort of pleading voice. Victor could tell that Yuuri was nervous, bordering on frightened. Victor’s eyebrows knit together in concern.  
“I’m right here by your side, my Yuuri,” Victor crooned.  
“Nakamura-san,” Victor said, “Yuuri seems to have some problems with his memory.”  
“Yes, I’ve noticed that,” Nakamura said. “We will continue to evaluate that over the next few days. I have a therapist that I will probably want to come in to see Katsuki-san, possibly tomorrow even. We will see. Don’t get too concerned yet, Victor-san, Yuuri still has that anesthesia in his system.”  
Dr. Nakamura placed a hand on Yuuri’s arm, “First, let’s get you moving around a bit.”

Mari brought back some great food from the Konbini. Even though it was a convenience store, it had cold drinks, hot drinks, snacks, candy, and great bentos. They even a place upstairs with good WIFI where you could eat them. Mari brought Victor a fried chicken bento with onigiri and fruit. The coffee was in a can, but it was still nice and warm. 

Victor would have gladly offered Yuuri some of the food, but he was only allowed soft foods until he was able to move his bowels. Tanaka-san brought him a rolled omelet and a pudding to start getting things moving. Yuuri was having a little trouble with the chopsticks, mostly because the IV was kind of in the way, making it awkward. Victor picked up the chopsticks and fed Yuuri pieces of the omelet until is was gone. The spoon didn’t seem to be a much of a problem. Yuuri finished the pudding quickly.  
Mari had taken a while because she had stopped in another store and had purchased a Japanese style bathrobe for Yuuri. It was navy blue and had a simple pattern of birds in flight. The birds were a bit lighter blue.  
“I love you Yuuri, but not so much that I want to see your rear end every time you get out of bed, unlike Victor probably,” Mari had teased.  
Yurri gave a shy smile to Mari. He met Victor’s gaze and said, “Thank you for the meal...Vitya.”  
“Of course.” Victor replied.

In the late afternoon and evening, Victor read all of the nice posts and comments that friends and family had posted for him. There were hundreds of comments offering him encouragement. Some of them were very moving. Tanaka-san was a task master, however. She put that robe on Yuri and had Victor walk him up and down the hall several times. It seemed like so much progress was made in one day, but, that evening was the beginning of the headaches. Suddenly, Yuuri got really quiet and his eyebrows knit together. At one point, he even put both of his hands to his head and started to grit his teeth. Victor called the nurse who administered pain medicine through Yuuri's IV. Victor sat on the bed next to Yuuri, one leg on the bed and one hanging off the bed. His right arm was around Yuuri, pulling his head to rest on his chest. Victor spoke comfort into Yuuri's ear and stroked his hair. Finally, even Mari, across the room noticed the tension in Yuuri start to melt away.

Later, when Yuuri had dozed off, Mari turned to talk to Victor.  
“Well, that went pretty well!”  
“You think so?” Victor replied. “Yuuri doesn’t know me.”  
“What do you mean? He’s been calling you by name all evening,” Mari said, furrowing her brow in concern.  
Victor spoke matter of factly, “Yuuri never called me Vitya or any pet name. I’m the one that likes to use pet names. Yuuri always called me Victor. Also, Yuuri didn’t refer to me by name until he heard Yakov call me Vitya while he visited.” Victor looked down and realized he had been absent mindedly rubbing his finger back and forth over his wedding band.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ice Cream City is a real place and yes, you can really get cow tongue flavored ice cream. Actually, FYI, most of the places mentioned  
> are real places. I did research. Also, my cousin used to have a channel about living in Japan. It has been a great resource.  
> Don't forget to leave comments and kudos. Thanks.


	5. Yuuri!!! Unmoored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically Chapter 4 from Yuuri's perspective. It gives a glimpse of what he was aware of  
> during the coma and what his initial feelings were when he first woke up.

     Yuuri was standing on a dock. Looking out, he could see that the sky was totally white. Surrounding the wood plank dock was dark blue, still water. The sky was misty and it looked like there wasn’t any distance between the water and the sky about one hundred meters from the dock.  
It was peaceful and held its own kind of beauty. Suddenly, the dock lurched. Yuuri was thrown to the ground.

     Yuuri was standing on the dock again. But, this time, the dock was floating in the water. Yuuri looked around him and he could only see the wooden planks, the white mist, and the dark, still water that surrounded the dock. Yuuri...waited.

     Yuuri was standing on the dock. Nothing had changed in the atmosphere or the scenery, except for the man. A man stood in front of Yuuri. He was beautiful. He was wearing a three-quarter length, black wool coat and a grey scarf. His silver hair ruffled as if in a breeze, even though there was no breeze that Yuuri could feel. Yuuri stared at this man’s eyes. They weren’t the same blue as the water that surrounded the doc, which was dark blue, almost black. The beautiful man’s eyes were bright. Yuuri knew that if the white mist went away, and he could see the blue in the sky, that the blue sky’s color would be the blue in this man’s eyes.  
“We’ll dance together soon, won’t we Yuuri?” the man said. Yuuri reached out to the man. He tried to speak to him, but he couldn’t.

     Yuuri looked around at the white mist. He heard voices, but it was as if they were mumbling. He turned around and saw the beautiful man with the silver hair. He was wearing black warm-up pants and a grey sweater. His feet were bare. Yuuri looked down. The man was holding his hand. He looked up into this man’s impossibly blue eyes. Yuuri could feel that the hands were warm.  
“Yuuri, my love. I need you to do your best tomorrow, okay?”

     Yuuri was on the dock. He looked around and only saw the white mist and the dark blue water, but it had changed. In the mist, someone was speaking. “Hey Yuuri, shouldn’t you wake up so I can go use the restroom?” ‘Was that Neechan?’ Yuuri thought. “Gomen,” Yuuri cried out. ‘Don’t leave Neechan!’  
He looked at the wood of the dock. A line of light was shining on the dock. ‘Wasn’t this sunlight?’ Yuuri put his hand in the light. The beautiful man was there. Yuuri looked down and he was holding his hand.  
“Can you squeeze my hand Yuuri?” the man said. ‘If I move my hand, this man won’t leave,’ Yuuri thought. He looked up at the man, “Amazing Yuuri!” The man was smiling at him.

     Yuuri saw white, a ceiling? His throat hurt. His mouth felt like he had cotton in it. He focused on a woman in front of him. She had asked his name. ‘What is my name?’, he thought. “Katsuki Yuuri,” he said. This woman was speaking very loud. Pain flashed in Yuuri’s right temple. She wanted to know his age. “27,” Yuuri said. ‘That’s right, isn’t it? Do I know where I am?’ Yuuri looked at the woman. She had almond shaped eyes and silky black hair that was brought back into a bun. She was speaking to him in Japanese. Yuuri looked to the left and saw Neechan. “Japan,” Yuuri said. ‘If Neechan is here, than I must be home,’ Yuuri thought. The woman was still talking to him. ‘Why is she still talking to me? She is so loud.’  
Yuuri looked at the silver haired man. He was still beautiful, but he had hair on his face. “I...know you,” Yuuri said. The woman turned his head so that Yuuri was looking directly at her. She wanted to know what he did and what he remembered. Yuuri mumbled some replies, but he wanted to look at the man with silver hair. If he looked away, the man might leave.

     Pain flashed in Yuuri’s head again. A feeling of heaviness was building in Yuuri’s chest. Tears sprung in the corners of his eyes. Then, he focused on the silver haired man’s blue eyes.  
“I know you,” Yuuri said. ‘Don’t leave.’ The beautiful man touched his face and was speaking to him.  
“I am here,” he said softly, “I will always stand by you.” ‘I’ve heard that before. Where did I here that?’ Yuuri thought, gazing at the man.

     The loud woman came back. Everything seemed too bright to Yuuri. Everything seemed too loud. There were machines by the bed that made noises suddenly.  
‘I am thirsty,’ Yuuri thought. The man held a cup with a straw for him.  
“My mouth is dry,” Yuuri said. The silver haired man rubbed something on Yuuri’s lips. It was soothing and it took away the feeling that his lips were about to split open.  
“This should feel a lot better. Have another sip,” the man said.  
Yuuri looked at the man’s eyes. ‘You are so beautiful,’ Yuuri thought.

     The loud woman came back and did something that hurt him. She was talking to him about getting out of bed. The silver haired man was next to him. He helped Yuuri. When his feet hit the floor, it felt strange. It took Yuuri a minute to get used to it again. He had to deliberately move his feet, where before he remembered that he did it without thinking. On the way back to the bed, it was like Yuuri’s feet, knees, and legs had remembered walking. The tube in Yuuri’s forearm bothered him. It seemed to always be in the way. Yuuri just wanted to look at the silver haired man, to make him stay.

     Two men came. One was very loud. He called the silver haired man “Vitya.” The man, the beautiful man is called Vitya. The loud man said that I made Vitya worry.  
“Gomen, Vitya,” Yuuri said. He didn’t want Vitya to be unhappy. Yuuri, looked up and saw the men walking around the curtain. ‘Vitya is leaving!’ An unpleasant flutter filled Yuuri’s chest. ‘Where is he going? Will he come back?’  
Yuuri was alone again. He brought a hand up to his chest which suddenly ached. His breathing got faster. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes. Yuuri remembered bright, white lights and then pain. He felt a flash of pain on the right side of his head. An eternity of time passed.  
     Vitya appeared around the curtain. Yuuri cried out, “Vitya!”  
Soon, the silver haired man was sitting by him again. He was speaking soothing words to Yuuri.  
“I’m right here by your side, my Yuuri,” Vitya crooned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is generally going to be told from Victor's point of view. But, I do want to delve into  
> Yuuri's perspective once in a while. Hope you found it interesting. I'd love to hear your comments.


	6. Everything Worth Doing Is Hard

March 30, 2019, 9:00 AM

 

    When Victor walked into Yuuri’s room, the curtain was pulled aside. Victor could see Yuuri from the doorway. He was sitting up in bed, wearing the navy blue yukata style bathrobe that Mari had purchased the other day.

    When Yuuri saw Victor, a smile lit up his face.  The table held a tray that looked like a bento. There was a piece of fish, rice, pickled vegetables, and fruit. There was also a small bowl of miso soup and a cup of green tea.  

    “Good morning, my love,” Victor said. “Somebody must have finally gone to the bathroom.”  Yuuri had been on a soft food diet until he was able to...ahem, go. Victor was so glad. Getting his colon to perform was the last hurdle to getting moved out of Critical Care and into the Rehab part of the hospital.  You couldn’t bring flowers onto the Critical Care floor. Victor looked forward to bringing Yuuri some flowers to brighten the room.

    “It really is the little victories,” Victor said lightheartedly. “This breakfast made it all worthwhile. Wow!”

    Yuuri smiled at Victor, but had blushed from the mention of the bathroom adventure. “Yes. This is a nice breakfast,” Yuuri had said.

    “What should we start with?” Victor asked.

    “Fish,” Yuuri replied. Victor picked up the chopsticks and fed Yuuri a piece of the salmon like a baby bird.”

 

    Just then, a young woman walked in.  She wore black pants, black shoes, and a pretty carnation pink, button down blouse. She wore her shirt with the top button undone and her sleeves rolled up, like she about to do the dishes or some other kind of messy work.  Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She carried an iPad with her, but it was the largest iPad Victor had ever seen, about the size of a regular laptop screen. She also was carrying a brown, leather-bound book.

    “Kon’nichiwa, watashi wa Hina Chinamidesu,”  Hina-san said brightly.  _ (Hello, my name is Chinami Hina) _

    “English?” Victor asked.

    “Yes, of course. You are Katsuki-san’s husband, Mr. Nikiforov?” Hina-san asked.

    “Yes, please call me Victor. I speak Japanese, but I speak better English when it comes to healthcare vocabulary. Gomen,” Victor bowed slightly to Hina-san.

    “No problem Victor-san,” Hina-san replied.  “Can I ask why you are feeding Mr. Katsuki? I wasn’t aware that he had any injuries that would prevent him from feeding himself.”

    Victor was still holding the chopsticks in his hand and his hand was resting to the right of the tray of food. “Oh, uh, I don’t know. It was a habit we just got into,” Victor said, blushing slightly.

 

    “Hmmmm,” Hina-san came over and sat down on the side of the bed opposite Victor. “Alright,” She said. “I understand that you want to take care of your precious person.” As she said this, she put her hand out toward Victor with a “give them here” motion, to get the chop sticks. When she had them, she handed them to Yuuri. “You are Yuuri’s coach in figure skating, correct? If he is working on a jump, do you do the jump, or does he?”

   “Point taken,” Victor said.

     Hina looked intently at the two men, “Victor-san, Katsuki-san, recovering from this injury is going to be hard. Just like training for the gold medal at the World Championship is hard. But, everything in life that is worth doing is hard.” Sitting a little straighter, she said, “Shall we begin after you finish eating?”   

“Yes,” Yuuri said, looking at her with wide eyes. Victor nodded.  

 

    Yuuri ate with no problem. Victor felt a little embarrassed. As a coach, he should have known that it was important to let Yuuri feed himself. Victor thought,  _ ‘Yuuri is really following my lead. I am going to have to be careful that I don’t hinder his recovery by being too much of a mother hen.’ _

 

    “Now,” Hina said, “Dr. Nakamura has said that you are having trouble with your memories? I am going to show you some pictures and words on the iPad. I want you to press a picture first and then the word. We will see what you do remember.  Yuuri had no problems with this activity. He knew all the words in every category. Hina had downloaded skating terms. He knew them all. He even knew the pictures of the different political figures in Japan. Victor thought that he would have failed the part about the political figures, even if they were Russian.

    “Very good Katsuki-san,” Hina said, obviously impressed.

    “Let’s try this. She pulled up an app called timeline.  Let’s start with the year you were born,” She said. 

     “1991,” Yuuri offered.

     “Good, good!,” Hina said encouragingly.  After the date of birth was entered, a timeline appeared. The year was over a thick black line. Under the line, was Yuuri’s age that year.  Each day, we are going to try to fill in some of this timeline. 

    Yuuri filled in a few of the years on the timeline quickly. He remembered starting Elementary School. He remembered the year he started skating. He remembered getting his puppy Vicchan. He remembered moving to America to train.

    “What about other memories, like about people. Is there a place in the timeline for those?” Victor asked.

    “Wow, Victor-san, you are getting ahead of me!” She said with a smile. “That is where this journal comes in. Yuuri, this is going to be like a book of memories for you. Whenever you remember something, write it in this book. You can even add pictures to it, if your family has pictures. Go over the book twice a day, at least. Seeing pictures and reading or hearing stories about your precious people will help you recover some of your memories, as your brain heals and makes new connections.

 

    Yuuri was quiet the rest of the afternoon. He would stare out the window for a while and then he would write. He worked for more than an hour. Finally, his eyes closed with the pen still in his hand. Victor gently pulled the pen and book from his grasp. He placed the pen on the table that was still in front of Yuuri since breakfast. Victor opened the book and started to read.

 

    The first memory that Yuuri wrote in the book was about Okasan taking him to Ice Castle to have a skating lesson. Yuuri wrote, “My ballet teacher was a family friend (Victor knew that was Minako) and had suggested that I try ice skating. First thing, I fell down and hurt my bottom. Okasan picked me up, dried my tears, and hugged me. I wanted to go home because I was so embarrassed. Then, she literally pushed me out onto the ice with my right hand still rubbing the spot where I had fallen.” 

 

Victor chuckled. Okasan and Otosan had amazing work ethics that they instilled into both of their children. There is no way that Okasan would let Yuuri get away with leaving the lesson for a simple fall.

 

    He wrote about liking to eat his mother’s Katsudon.  He wrote about a little shop where you could buy the best dumplings. Yuki, Nishigori, and him would eat dumplings on the walk to the Ice Castle for lessons.  He wrote about how he loved to dance and about a boy at school making fun of him because he took ballet. He wrote about his roommate’s hamster getting out of his cage and curling up in Yuuri’s skate. Yuuri didn’t find him till they were at the rink.  

    Victor sighed. There weren’t any memories of them as a couple. There really weren’t any memories from the last 5 or 6 years. Yuuri was still napping, so Victor went for coffee. On his way back, Tanaka-san noticed from his body posture and sighing that something was wrong.

    “What is the matter Victor-san?” She asked.

    “Yuuri doesn’t know me,” Victor replied. “He is writing some of his memories down in a book that Hina-san gave him and none of the memories involve me.”    

    “Why don’t you just write down your memories with Yuuri in the book?” Tanaka-san offered, shrugging her shoulder.  

    “Victor just stared at her for a minute. That’s not...cheating?” Victor asked. After getting scolded for feeding Yuuri, Victor wasn’t sure.

    Tanaka-san laughed. “No, it’s not cheating. See if you can get your friends to send you pictures too. I started following you, Yuuri, and some of your skater friends on Instagram. You certainly take a lot of pictures.”

 

    Victor took out his phone. “Hello, Phichit, Yuuri is awake,” Victor said, excited.

    Phichit replied, “Really? I’m so glad he is awake!”

Victor cut in, “But, he has big gaps in his memory. Look, I need you to send me pictures, not just online pictures, but tangible photos. Maybe you and Chris can work together on this? Looking at pictures of memorable events with his friends will help him get his memories back.”

    “I am glad to help Victor! I certainly have a lot of pictures. Where should we send them?”

    “Send them to Hatsetsu,” Victor replied. “Do you mind if I share your contact with Chris?” Victor asked.

    “No problem,” Phichit replied.

    “Thank you, Phichit. You are a good friend to Yuuri,” Victor said, ending the call.

 

    Victor got his coffee and went back to the room. Yuuri was still asleep, but his brow was knit together and a tear was coursing its way down the right side of his face. After a few seconds, Victor could hear a soft whimper. Yuuri was in pain. After hitting the button to call the nurse, Victor sat down on the left side of the bed next to Yuuri. With his right arm, he pulled Yuuri over, so that his head rested on Victor’s chest. Yuuri snuggled up to Victor, adjusting so that he was on his side and his right hand rested on Victor’s stomach.  Victor stroked Yuuri’s hair, and then rubbed his back in long, soothing strokes.

    Tanaka-san took one look at Yuuri’s face, nodded to Victor, and left the room briefly. When she returned, she pressed a syringe into a port in Yuuri’s IV. After several minutes, Victor could feel Yuuri relax.

 

   That headache was like a preview for a really bad movie. The next day, when Victor arrived, Tanaka-san stopped Victor in the hall. 

    “Victor-san, Yuuri had a rough night. Listen, I can’t give him anymore pain medicine for another hour. I’m sorry.”

    Victor walked around the curtain that blocked the view from the door. He was shocked to see that Yuuri was curled into a fetal position on the bed. His right hand was covering his ear and his eyes were shut.  

    “Yuuri,” Victor said, alarmed. “I’m here, my love, I’m here.”

    Yuuri, didn’t move, but he cried, “Vitya, it hurts...it hurts,” Yuuri sounded like an animal in a trap.

 

    Victor climbed fully onto the bed and gathered Yuuri into his arms.  Yuuri’s head rested on Victor’s chest and Victor pulled him close with his other arm.   The head of the bed was elevated, so that Victor was mostly sitting. Victor hugged Yuuri to himself, speaking softing into his ear, stroking his hair and his back. 

    The tension in Yuuri spoke of the intensity of the pain.  The tears rolling down Yuuri’s face and quiet whimpering left Victor feeling helpless. The hour seemed to last forever. Finally, Tanaka-san returned with a syringe of relief for Yuuri. Victor asked Tanaka-san to turn the light out and as the tension drained out of Yuuri’s body, the two of them drifted off to sleep, totally spent.

    Dr. Nakamura examined Yuuri some hours later. Neurologically, there wasn’t any indications that something had suddenly went south, but the doctor warned that there was still swelling in the brain that was probably the cause of the headaches.  If it got to the point that Yuuri couldn’t rest, Dr. Nakamura ordered a sedative. Dr. Nakamura said that if they had to resort to the sedative, he would order some more imaging to make sure there wasn’t new bleeding or pressure that was causing the headaches.

    The rest of the day wasn’t much better. Yuuri was agitated. He seemed sensitive to light and sounds. He was uncooperative when a young nurse tried to take his blood pressure.  He wouldn’t eat anything. Eventually, Tanaka-san added a glucose drip to his IV because he wouldn’t eat. Poor Victor could barely coax Yuuri to sip ice water from a straw. 

 

    Finally, around 7:00 PM, after talking with Dr. Nakamura on the phone, Tanaka-san administered the sedative. It was like an entire day lost in Yuuri’s recovery. They hadn’t done any of the therapy exercises or writing. Yuuri’s movement to a regular room, from the critical care area, was delayed at least another day.

 

    Victor arrived back at the hotel. He had picked up a bento and a green tea at the Konbini that was right outside the hospital. He wished Mari had still been there. Mari only stayed two nights because Cherry Blossom season was a busy time for the Onsen.  Victor ran the shower until it was steaming. He walked into the shower and placed both hands on the cool tile wall. He stood for several minutes under the hot spray. Exhausted by the emotion of the day, he cried as the water coursed down his shoulders and back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor boys. Things will get better soon.


	7. Returning Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri returns to Hatsetsu and has his first memory with Victor as a couple.

April 8th, 2019  
Yu-Topia

Victor’s eyes fluttered open, sunlight was streaming into the windows behind the bed. As Victor’s eyes settled on Yuuri form, a smile played across his lips. Victor scooted over, fighting covers along the way, until his chest rested against Yuuri’s back. Yuuri had been rather curled in on himself, but at Victor’s touch, he started to straighten out. His body was seeking Victor’s warmth. Victor slipped his arm over Yuuri’s waist and pulled him closer. His leg crossed over Yuuri’s so they were entwined.  
“Vitya,” Yuuri said softly.  
“Good morning,” Victor replied kissing Yuuri’s shoulder.

Victor’s arms ached for Yuuri’s warmth. Two weeks in the hospital had seemed like an eternity. From the angle of the sun, Victor could tell that it must be midmorning. They had gotten in from Saitama late last night. Victor noticed the tension had gone out of Yuuri as they cuddled. He hadn’t been sure what level of intimacy was appropriate or what Yuuri would be okay with. Yuuri had always told Victor to be himself, so that was his starting point. Victor loved to touch Yuuri and so far, the one thing that Yuuri seemed to remember was that he liked Victor’s touch.

Victor had kind of wanted to stay there, just like that, entwined with Yuuri, but his basic natural needs seemed to betray him. His stomach growled and he had to pee like crazy. “Sigh,” Victor kissed the back of Yuuri’s neck and then his shoulder. Finally, he rolled out of bed. He would let his love sleep a while longer.

Victor was wearing a pair of pajama bottoms, but he went ahead and pulled on some warm up pants and a long sleeved, black tech shirt. It was Yuuri’s and the sleeves were too short, but the tight fit looked amazing on Victor’s lean muscular frame. 

“Coffeeeee…” Victor murmured, rather like a zombie.  
Victor was family, so he walked right into the kitchen, pulled down a mug, and helped himself. Hiroko had followed him in and said, “I would have gotten it for you Vicchan.”   
“It’s fine, Okasan,” Victor leaned down and kissed Hiroka on the cheek.  
“Let me make you breakfast. Will Yuuri be down?” Okasan asked.  
“I’m letting him sleep in, but go ahead and make something you know he likes and I will take it up after I eat.”

Victor settled into a spot in the Dining Room. Yu-Topia mostly left the TV on the 24 hour sports channels. Right now, there was a replay of a soccer match. Unexpectedly, Victor felt a hand on his shoulder. Yuuri sat down in the seat next to him. Victor was amused to see the t-shirt that Yuuri was wearing. It was a slim cut, v-neck t-shirt. It had white letters on the front that said “I’m with him.” Victor had bought the t-shirt mostly as a joke and Yuuri wouldn’t wear it in public because, by the cut, you could tell it was a woman’s t-shirt. But, with Yuuri’s athletic build, it looked pretty...eros.

“I like your shirt my love,” Victor said, trying to restrain the smile.  
“It is very soft. Feel it,” Yuuri replied. Victor reached over and rubbed the hem of the garment in between his thumb and two fingers. It did definitely have a silky, soft feel. “You’re right Yuuri, I should go back to that store and see if I can find one too. Did you know? I bought you this shirt in Hatsetsu,” Victor said. He smiled at the memory. Victor leaned a bit closer to Yuuri. His left hand lightly ran up and down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri leaned into Victor oh, so, slightly.  
“You….bought a blue shirt too. I really liked it,” Yuuri said. Victor’s hand stopped moving. He was stunned at the memory. It was the first memory Yuuri had of them, as a couple.   
“Vitya, are you sad?” Yuuri asked, concerned. Victor’s face split into a grin and he quickly wiped away a threatening tear.  
“No, no, Yuuri. I’m so happy you remembered something from that day! It was a very special day.”  
“We should write it in the book, you think?” Yuuri asked.  
“Definitely, hey, we can go to that shop today, if you want,” Victor said, but he wished he hadn’t. He wasn’t sure that Yuuri was up to the noise level of a shopping district. It might be overwhelming.

Thankfully, Okasan brought a tray filled with all kinds of yummy things to brush away the momentary awkwardness. She had made rolled eggs with green onion, miso soup, a little dish of pickled vegetables, and a piece of fish for each of them. The meal was rounded out with a small bowl of rice.  
“Okasan, this looks amazing!” Victor exclaimed. He loved his mother in law’s cooking.  
“Thank you for the meal Okasan,” Yuuri said.  
“I’m so glad you are home Yuuri,” Hiroko replied and then she kissed him lightly on the top of his head.

The Katsuki family, they aren’t huggers. But, when Yuuri and Victor had walked in last night, Toshiya and Hiroko approached Yuuri and pulled him into a group hug. Okasan started to cry, to her embarrassment. Yuuri apologized for making Okasan cry. Hiroko apologized for crying. Toshiya was rubbing both their heads and just telling Yuuri over and over that he was so glad to see him, so glad he was home. Mari stood back by the kitchen door, her hands looked as if they were in a prayer and they covered her mouth. Mari had witnessed a lot of what her parents had gone through the last few weeks. Mari knew that if she watched the scene any longer, she would be in tears. She returned to the kitchen and started making tea. 

The food was truly amazing. First of all, the couple was hungry. They were too worn out last night to eat anything. They brushed their teeth, changed, and dropped into bed. Second of all, Hiroko’s rolled eggs were delicious and went perfectly with rice. Finally, Hatsetsu was by the ocean. The piece of fish was fresh and tasted heavenly. Yuuri stuck the piece of fish right in the bowl of rice and dug in, holding the bowl in his hand and scooping it right into his mouth. Victor was happy to see Yuuri eat with such vigor. Alina wandered in and splayed out by Yuuri’s side. She rested her head right in his lap and looked up at him with her soulful eyes. Yuuri stopped mid bite. 

He looked down at the pup. “Makkachin?” Yurri asked.  
“Alina, is her name. She looks a lot like Makkachin doesn’t she?” Victor replied.  
“She is so pretty. She looks like Victor too. Victor was my dog.” Yuuri said, like he was thinking out loud.  
Alina’s tail started to wag, pounding a beat on the floor.  
“She knows you said she was pretty. Alina likes compliments,” Victor said smiling.  
Soon, they had finished their meal. Victor started to stack the dishes and move like he was going to clear the table, but Okasan had stopped him.  
“Why don’t you boys go for a walk on the beach?” She suggested.  
“That sounds like a great idea actually,” Victor said stretching and then running his hand through his hair. “Does that sound good to you Yuuri?”   
Yuuri answered with a hum. “We’ll take Alina, right?” Yuuri asked.  
“Of course!” Victor replied. He retrieved Alina’s lead and snapped it in place. 

The beach was peaceful. The couple left their shoes on the sand and walked together on the water’s edge. Alina loved the ocean. Victor lazily threw a tennis ball out ahead of them and Alina ran off to get it. The water was cold, but the air had lost that bit of chill that there had been earlier. Victor wondered if it would be okay to hold Yuuri’s hand. Just as he was thinking it, Yuuri slipped his hand into Victor’s. He felt a flutter in his chest at the unexpected touch. Yuuri hadn’t asked, it was just assumed. Victor had hope that the ease in which Yuuri had been touching him, the comfort that seemed to exist between the two of them, that it was a memory of sorts. There wasn’t a romantic feeling to it as much as a feeling of family, as if it had always been that way. For now, Victor savored the warmth of Yuuri’s hand. He was hopeful the romance would return with Yuuri’s memories. 

Alina returned to Yuuri with the ball and nudged his hand.   
“She wants you to throw it love,” Victor took the leash from Yuuri and encouraged him, “Throw it for her. She loves it.”  
Yuuri threw the ball and Alina was off like a shot. Yuuri smiled and looked at Victor.   
“I really like the beach Vitya,” Yuuri said contentedly. Victor squeezed his hand.


	8. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories continue to bubble up in Yuuri's mind. Hiroko Katsuki gives Victor something to think about.

April 15th

 

     The couple settled into a relaxing routine at Yu-Topia. They enjoyed taking Alina to the beach for her walk each day. Alina loved the long walks and attention. She took turns nudging Yuuri’s hand and then Victor’s hand to allow them the privilege of throwing the ball for her. Unlike Makkachin, she had no interest in the seagulls. She was all about her people and her toys. Eventually, Alina decided that she was tired and she would take her ball and run back to their shoes and lay down. She would lay down on top of the ball so you couldn’t throw it anymore. The boys laughed the first day that she had done it. It was like she was saying, “Please don’t throw this ball anymore because then I would have to chase it.”

     Back at Yu-Topia, Alina took her ball and laid down in the corner. Yuuri and Victor decided to have a nice wash and a soak in the hot spring. Yuuri sat on a stool with a bowl of soapy water in front of him. Both, had just finished washing their hair, using Victor’s shampoo and conditioner. Using a washcloth, Victor washed Yuuri’s back. Victor noticed that most of the bruising from the accident had faded to a slight shadow. Yuuri reached out and grabbed the hand held shower and rinsed off. The couple sank into the hot spring and found a seat together on the far end, away from the area most people entered the pool. Yuuri leaned against the wall and folded up the little towel and put it on his head. He closed his eyes. Victor followed his lead and felt the tension melt away from his body. Last night had been a rough one for Yuuri. Dreams and pain had disturbed his sleep. Victor held him and comforted him for nearly two hours in the early hours of the morning. ‘Wow. I needed this,’ Victor thought.

     “Vitya,” Yuuri said, his eyes still closed.

     “What’s up,” Victor said, opening one eye to peek at his husband.

     “I dreamed about you,” Yuuri said a little softer than his normal tone of voice. “I dreamed about you when I was in the hospital.” Victor sat up and pulled the little towel off his head. He placed it on the rim of the hot spring.

     “What did you dream?” Victor asked curiously.

     “I was alone in a really misty place, surrounded by water. You appeared like a ray of sunshine and said that we would...dance together. I tried to reach out and touch you, but I couldn’t,” Yuuri finished softly, like he had more to say. Victor was overwhelmed. Yuuri had heard him talking to him when he was in the coma. He really had.

     “I said something like that. I was exercising your legs and the nurse mentioned you were very flexible. I started bragging to the nurse about what a wonderful dancer you were and I said to you that we would dance again soon, or something like that,” Victor said, smiling at the memory. Yuuri sat up straight and looked at Victor.

     “Didn’t you tell me that you came to coach me, because my body moved to the music inside me?” Yuuri looked around. “You said it right over there,” Yuuri was pointing to a spot on the other side of the pool. He put his hands in front of him together and said contemplatively, “You...held my hands like this.”

     Victor nearly gasped, “Yes, Yuuri…”

     The spell was broken when two elderly gentlemen joined them in the hot spring. The two friends were talking animatedly about fishing. Victor and Yuuri leaned back and closed their eyes, relaxing together. Victor found Yuuri’s hand under the water and placed his hand over it. After a late lunch, Yuuri headed upstairs for a nap. Victor knew that he could use a nap too, but he was too keyed up about the memories that Yuuri had today. Both of them had been about him.

     Victor pictured an imaginary press conference in his mind. With a mic in front of him, Victor would say,

     “Yes, Morooka-san, Yuuri remembered two memories about me today. Most importantly, I was naked in one of the memories.”

     “But, Mr. Nikiforov, isn’t it true that you were only naked in the memory because you were in an Onsen and that the nakedness had no kind of romantic meaning to it?” Morooka asked.

     ‘Damn you Morooka,’ Victor thought. Victor shook his head and headed for the kitchen to find some kind of tea that would help him relax and get a little rest. Victor found just the right thing and carefully walked to the dining room with his steaming cup. He settled down on one of the cushions and cradled the cup in both hands. Alina padded over, her collar jingling. She rested her head in Victor’s lap and laid down next to him. Victor took a sip of tea and ruffled the fur on Alina’s head.

     “Sweet Alina,” Victor cood. “You are such a good girl.” Alina’s tail started to thump, thump, thump on the floor. Victor continued petting his baby girl’s soft, curly fur.

     Okasan walked over and asked Victor, “Vicchan, is it okay if I join you?” He motioned to the cushion to the left of him,

     “Of course.”

     “Vicchan, I’ve decided to redo the rooms upstairs where you usually stay. I want to make them more of a self contained apartment, in case...in case you ever need to live here for a while,” Okasan explained. “ I want to pull out some walls so Yuuri's old room, the storage rooms, your room, and the bathroom next to your room are connected. I want to add some sound proofing to some of the walls, like Toshiya and I added years ago to our room. If you ever needed a place Vicchan, to live, to work…”

     “Okasan, thank you, but I think we’ll be okay,” Victor replied a little too quickly. Hiroko placed her hand on Victor’s arm and looked him directly in the eyes.

     “Vicchan, I know that the loss of Yuuri’s income is a hit. Yuuri might not ever...be the same. Are sponsors going to be okay with that? I just want you to know that you have...choices,” Hiroko rubbed Victor’s arm and then Victor stopped her with his hand.

     “Okasan, go kento o onegai itashimasu,” (Thank you for your consideration.) Victor said this while bowing. Victor wanted Okasan to know that he was grateful for the choice they were given and that he would take it seriously.

     “Anata wa watashi no musukodesu,” Hiroko replied simply, squeezing Victor’s hand. (You are my sons.)

     Victor went upstairs and quietly opened the sliding doors. Yuuri was covered up so that only his spiky black hair stuck out the top of his blankets. Victor pulled Yuuri’s eye mask out of the bedside table. Whispering, Victor asked,

     “Are you asleep?” Softly, Yuuri replied,

     “Not yet.”

     Victor pulled off his shirt and crawled into the bed in back of his husband. He handed him the eye mask. Yuuri put the mask on the table on his side of the bed and then turned back to Victor. He scootched over a bit closer to Victor and the older man pulled his love close to him. Yuuri’s head rested against Victor’s chest. The silver haired man stroked his husband’s back with his left hand. His right hand cradled Yuuri’s head against him. His wedding band sparkled from the golden, late afternoon light, streaming in from the windows in back of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story about Alina and the ball is based on my golden retriever. If someone threw a stick, she would catch it, like there was no choice in the matter. If she got tired, she would hide the stick in the bushes to keep people from throwing it.


	9. Return to Ice Castle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri gets a clear date to return to training. Victor breaks the news that they are returning to Russia to Okasan Katsuki. The couple goes to Ice Castle for a visit. Yuuri, Victor, and Yuuko add to the book.

April 19th, Yu-Topia

     The rest of the week had been liked a roller coaster. Yuuri’s progress seemed to be at the mercy of how much rest he was able to get and his level of pain. He had a few really great days. Those days were like rays of sunshine breaking through the mist. But, when he was tired or having one of those awful headaches, he defaulted to Japanese, or he didn’t eat, or he didn’t talk, or he would tense up, or some combination of those four. Victor was slowly, but surely learning Yuuri’s signals. They had about ten hydrocodone left. Victor was hoarding them at this point and doling them out only at Yuuri’s greatest need. The doctor, that the hospital had set Yuuri up with in Hatsetsu, had given Yuuri a day that he was officially cleared to start training, April 26th. It was 6 weeks from the date of his injury. But, Dr. Kobayashi was adamant that Yuuri say off the ice while he was still taking hydrocodone. Victor’s goal was to have Yuuri completely off of the heavy pain meds by the time they got back home to Russia.

     It was nearly 10:00 AM. Victor walked into Yu-topia’s commercial kitchen and helped himself to another cup of coffee. Yuuri had a good night, even though it was free of any pain medications. Victor had been up for a few hours on his laptop in the dining area. He was letting Yuuri sleep in today. Sleep was healing, Dr. Kobayashi had reiterated. Victor was formulating a workout plan for him. It started pretty light, mostly working on overall fitness and some core work, which Yuuri would need for his jumps. Victor had already started adding light stretching into their long walks on the beach. Victor slurped the top of his coffee. He had overfilled the cup when he added the cream. Hiroko looked up from her task with a smile and then returned to her work as he left the kitchen. Having her sons home…safe...meant so much to her.

     Hiroko was finishing cleaning the kitchen before the lunch guests arrived. Already, two elderly gentlemen, regulars, were sitting in the dining room in Yu-topia robes, playing Shogi after their daily soak. Victor took another slurp of the light coffee. Carefully, he sat down again at the low table, trying not to slosh coffee on his notes or his laptop. Hiroko walked over to Victor’s table holding her own cup of hot green tea.

     “Am I disturbing you Vicchan?” Hiroko asked. “I have a few moments before the lunch rush begins.”

     “No, no, of course not,” Victor said. He cleared his notes and closed his laptop into a neat little pile and motioned for her to sit.

     “So. The doctor has given a green light for Yuuri to skate?” Hiroko held the cup of hot tea in both hands, elbows resting on the table. They hadn’t had a chance to talk in depth since the appointment yesterday.  
     “Ha...well, I guess, technically,” Victor replied with an ironic laugh. “Yuuri is only allowed to train until he feels pain. Also, he is not allowed on the ice at all as long as he is still taking the pain medicine.”

     “I see,” Hiroko replied. She took a sip of her tea.

     “A 28 year old skater is going to have pain just from skating, adding another challenge on top of the injury,” Victor sounded like he was thinking out loud. Looking directly at Hiroko, he continued. “Okasan, thank you for all you’ve done for us. Thank you for giving me choices, as I think about the course ahead. Now that we have a start date, I am going to book our tickets to St. Petersburg for next Wednesday, depending on what flights I can get,” Victor hadn’t looked forward to telling Hiroko about them leaving. He loved his mother-in-law like his own mother.

     Hiroko sighed, “I know that you have been restless Vicchan. I am sorry that you have had to shoulder so much of this on your own. Don’t stay away too long. Promise me?”

     “I promise,” Victor said firmly.

     “How about Tuesday, we have a dinner together and invite friends?” Hiroko asked. Victor answered with a hum, nodding his head. Minako and the Nishigori’s had visited once, just a few days after they got home from the hospital, but it had been awkward. Yuuri had been overwhelmed by the triplets and didn’t know how to answer their questions.

     “So, you bashed your head through a windshield, huh?” Asked Axel.  
     “Did you bleed a lot?” Asked Lutz.  
     “When are you going to skate again?” Asked Loop, while snapping a picture on her phone.

     Yuuko turned bright red, snatched the phone away, and tried to redirect the three girls to find something on TV to watch. Yuuri had turned to Victor nervously at each question and Victor, at a loss for words, ran a comforting hand up and down his husband’s back.

     Nishigori lost all color in his face and mumbled, “Sorry about that.” Minako had offered her studio for any workouts that they wanted to do. Victor offered his thanks.  
     “Maybe after Yuuri is cleared. He is still on pain meds, so we are taking it pretty easy,” Victor had replied. Minako nodded and looked at Yuuri and then at her best friend, Hiroko Katsuki. Things were awkward.

     Victor stepped up and filled in the conversation, telling a short version of the events of the past month. Thankfully, Mari appeared with hot tea and helped fill in parts of the story too. Everyone laughed at her story about Victor stretching Yuuri’s leg nearly over his head.  
     “I haven’t seen that much of my little brother since we used to share a bath as children,” she said with a smirk.

     Toward the end of the visit, Yuuri just got up and disappeared upstairs. Alina, followed him. Victor, Toshia, Mari, and Hiroko saw the visitor’s out. When Victor found his love, he was asleep on top of the covers with Alina at the foot of the bed. The visit had exhausted him.

     Just then, Victor heard Alina’s collar jingling toward him. The pup used her head to push under Victor’s hand. That was puppy dog language for “scratch my ears”.  
“Did you watch over Yuuri for me so I could get some work done?” Victor said sweetly to Alina, placing one hand on each side of her head and scratching behind both ears at the same time. Alina closed her amber eyes and thumped her tail, thwack, thwack, thwack, in reply. She was in doggy heaven.  
Yuuri padded down soon after. He was dressed in his new favorite t-shirt (I’m with him) and a pair of black warm-ups. His hair stuck up in various places.

     “Ohayo Yu-chan,” Okasan said with a smile. She rubbed Yuuri’s arm affectionately as he plopped down between her and Victor.

     “Ohayo Kasan,” he replied, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Watashi wa gohan to tama go-yaki mama o taberu koto goa dekimasu ka?” (Can I have tama go-yaki and rice?)

     “Mochiron, musuko. Supu mo?” Okasan asked as she got up and went to the kitchen. (Of course son. Soup too?)

     “Hai,” Yuuri replied to his mom. “Ohayo Bicha.” Victor loved to hear Yuuri apply his Kyushu accent to “Vitya”. Yuuri was fluent in three languages and when he said Vitya, it sounded a little different in each language.

     “Good morning my love,” Victor reached behind Yuuri’s head and stroked his hair briefly. “Did you sleep well?”

     “Yes,” Yuuri leaned into Victor’s touch and rested his head on his shoulder. Victor knit his brow in concern briefly and stroked the back of his head again. That was unlike Yuuri to be touchy feely in the public spaces of Yu-Topia.

     “Are you still a little sleepy or do you have pain?” Victor asked with concern.

     “Sleepy,” the raven haired man replied. “I dreamed about you again…It was...nice. But, Alina stepped on me and woke me up.”

     “You dreamed about me? What did you dream?” Victor’s face showed his amusement and he rubbed his husband’s back affectionately, leaning his head down on Yuuri’s.

     “I don’t...remember. We were in that room…the bedroom” Yuuri sighed. “We were laughing.”

     “Sounds like it was more like a feeling than a memory?” Viktor asked. Yuuri shrugged. Victor continued to rub his back. “We certainly have had a lot of memories in that room.” Victor had a brief moment of indecision. Was going to St. Petersburg the right thing to do? Yuuri had regained so many of memories in Hatsetsu. He just hoped that being in their home would help bring back more.

     Yuuri ate his breakfast eagerly. The smell of the miso soup, eggs, and rice perked him right up. It made Victor smile and brought back the memory of Yuuri telling Victor and Yurio, very excitedly, that Katsudon was what Eros meant to him. It was no wonder. Hiroko Katsuki was a fabulous cook. Yu-topia, it could be said, was literally still in business because of her cooking. Businessmen would stop at Hatsetsu station to have a bowl of Katsudon, a beer, and a soak in the onsen. Then, they would continue their commutes home.

     All the great service, however, made it difficult to get Yuuri back in the routine of choosing his own food and making it himself. Getting a grasp of Yuuri’s nutrition had been a huge component of what made him start being really successful when he moved to St. Petersburg. Victor had made him learn how to cook ahead, plan meals, and have good food at the ready, so that Yuuri wouldn’t be tempted to go off his plan. He wanted to get Yuuri back to that place. Victor picked up his laptop, ruffled his husband’s hair, and went upstairs to change clothes.

     Victor had promised Yuuko that they would visit Ice Castle before they left town. The silver haired man decided that today had better be the day. As much as Victor loved the triplets, he wanted a quiet visit for Yuuri. Today, the girls would be at school.

     While they were there, Victor really wanted to skate. He wanted to put some music on and just lose himself on the ice for a little while. One of the benefits of helping Yakov with coaching at their home rink was that Victor had a key and could skate after hours. At least once a week, Yuuri and Victor had a late night, skate date. They were simple like that. Victor would make a playlist of their favorite routines and play them on the sound system. They would bring take out or Yuuri would pack snacks, if it was training season. They would just skate, sometimes taking turns, sometimes side by side.

     Sometimes, they would dance, holding each other in their arms. Yuuri, always at his heart a dancer, would lead his lover around the ice. Anyone watching would think that they could read each other’s minds. Maybe, after all these years, they could. Every step was perfectly coordinated. Victor knew intuitively what Yuuri’s next move was by recognizing what part of Yuuri’s blade held his weight or by the push and pull of pressure on his arm or shoulder. He had spent countless hours watching Yuuri skate, live and on video, and of course, he knew the set up for every lift and every turn like he knew how to breathe.

     Victor finished dressing in workout clothes and packed his skating bag. Yuuri walked in their room with Alina in tow. You’ll want a jacket Love. Put on some warm socks too. Do you want to try and skate a lap or two? Yuuri shook his head while he was rifling through his sock drawer. He pulled out the socks and held a pair of knit black gloves in his hand.  
     “Won’t I need these too?” Yuuri asked like he knew he would need them.  
     “Yeah, definitely,” Victor walked over to Yuuri and said, “Let me do your hair a bit.” Victor spritzed a little detangler onto Yuuri’s spiky hair. He sat on the side of the bed and pointed between his legs, “Sit here, Love.” Yuuri sat between Victor’s legs on the floor and the raven haired man closed his eyes as his husband worked on his hair, picking out the tangles gently with a comb.  
     “I remember this…” Yuuri murmured. Victor smiled and spritzed his hair again thoroughly, continuing to work.

     “Tonight we’ll have a lot to write in the book, won’t we?” Victor asked, pleased. Yuuri hummed in reply, nodding. “Finish dressing and we’ll go for our walk to Ice Castle this time.” Alina heard the word walk and became alert, her tail starting to wag. She had been laying down in the middle of the bed. Victor picked up Alina’s lead and started to walk out of the bedroom. The pup jumped down from the bed but stopped at the door, turned around and sat, tail wagging. She was waiting for Yuuri.

     The walk to Ice Castle was pleasant. Alina didn’t really know the way yet. She had only been there a few times in her two years of life. She walked in between Yuuri and Victor. The sun was shining and the leaves on the trees were that wonderful, bright green of new growth. The beautiful blossoms of early spring had all finished in Southern Japan a few weeks ago. Yuuri seemed really alert, almost excited about their walk. Ice Castle had been a second home to him growing up.  
Yuuko was really excited to see them! There was a lesson going on, but it was only on one side of the rink. Yuuko and Yuuri sat on a bench next to the skate rental. Yuuri showed Yuuko his book. Victor had told Yuuri that Yuuko would probably love to add memories to the book for him about Ice Castle. Victor sat next to them briefly while he laced up his skates and picked a playlist on his phone. He put in one, bluetooth earbud and set it to play softly. Walking toward the ice he tucked the phone in the little zip pocket designed for that purpose. Luckily, nobody was on the far side of the ice for the moment, but Victor would have to pay attention to avoid collisions if someone joined him.  
     Victor skated a few warm up laps. It felt amazing. Victor gathered some speed and did an outside spread eagle into a double axel. He didn’t dare do anything more than a double during a public skate. The silver haired legend skated a few more laps and then added some footwork. He stretched out into a beautiful Ina Baur and then continued his lap. In the middle of his space, Victor launched into a flying sit spin combination, ending upright in a scratch spin.

     Victor stopped a minute to catch his breath. He looked at the boards and noticed the skate moms, who had gathered to watch him. A few started clapping as he skated toward them. Victor wiped sweat from his brow with the back of his wrist and waved graciously. He grabbed the rink wall with both hands and caught Yuuko’s eye. He made a “C” with his hand and made a motion like he was drinking water. Then he pointed to the bench next to her. Victor had left his water on the bench. Yuuko’s eyes lit up in understanding and she brought the water bottle to Victor.

     Yuuri followed Yuuko over to the boards. “Thanks, Yuuko,” Victor said, taking a deep pull from the water bottle. Yuuri rested both his forearms on the boards, on the other side of the small group of moms, and watched Victor. Victor skated up to him and ruffled his hair. Yuuri gave him a little half smile. The beautiful man pushed off again and flew around the ice. Yuuri watched his husband as he took a backward approach, setting up for a jump. The raven haired man murmured, “Salchow…” Victor launched off of his inside edge completed two rotations and landed on the opposite outside edge for a perfect double Salchow. Victor’s laps increased in speed and his footwork increased in difficulty. The children in the lesson and the teacher became distracted the drifted slightly to the middle of the rink and stopped to watch the skating legend. All eyes in Ice Castle were on Victor Nikiforov.

     Yuuko quietly walked up behind Yuuri and listened to his murmuring as he watched Victor skate.  
“Forward approach,” Yuuri murmured. “Ah...He is switching to his backward inside edge for a flip.” Just then, Victor used his toe pick on his other foot to launch himself into a double flip. Yuuko was amazed. Yuuri knew all his skating terms and was recognizing the set-up of all Victor’s jumps as he did them.  
Suddenly, the spell was broken. One of the mother’s figured out who the raven haired man with Victor Nikiforov had to be.  
“Gomen’nasai. Anata wa Katsuki Yuuri desu Ka?” She asked. (Sorry. Are you Yuuri Katsuki?)  
“Hai,” Yuuri replied awkwardly. “Gomen’nasai.”

     The other mother’s started to drift over toward Yuuri as soon as they heard his name. He was the reigning World Champion after all. Victor rounded a turn and saw the group of women surrounding his love. Then, he saw Yuuri’s wide eyes. He sprinted toward the exit. When he reached it, he started walking toward Yuuri, wading through the small crowd of skate moms.  
     “Ladies, give Yuuri a little space,” Victor said graciously. “Perhaps, Yuuko could set up a table and we can sign some autographs for the children.” Victor steered an overwhelmed Yuuri over toward the men’s locker room. Yuuko followed them.  
     “Set up a table and two chairs, just so Yuuri has a little space. Just the kids. Try to keep the moms at bay,” Victor said softly. Yuuko went to get a table and Yuuri and Victor went into the men’s locker room. Victor pulled his husband into a bear hug around his neck. The younger man was breathing hard and his heart was beating like a rabbit’s.

     “You’re okay, Yuuri, my love, you’re okay,” Victor spoke softly in his ear. Yuuri didn’t reply immediately, but he brought his arms around Victor, resting his palms on his shoulder blades. Victor freed one of his hands and stroked the back of his love’s head. Yuuri’s breathing started to normalize.  
Victor realized that Yuuri was crying.

     “Gomen, Vitya, gomen,” Yuuri cried softly. “I didn’t know what to say to them.”  
     “My love, don’t worry. Most people are afraid of skate moms. Even I am afraid of skate moms,” Victor pulled back a little, looked at Yuuri, and smiled. Yuuri stopped crying suddenly. Did he chuckle? Yuuri hadn’t laughed at one of Victor’s jokes since before the accident. “Look,” Victor said. “We’ll sit at the table and sign the bags for the children. I know I have a Sharpie marker or two in my skate bag. Okay?” Yuuri nodded.

     It wasn’t Yuuko’s first time around the block on herding skate moms and skating otaku for that matter. The eight students in the lesson were lined up in an orderly fashion, with Lutz, Axel, and Loop coming in the rear. They had just walked in from school and had new skate bags they needed signed. Yuuko may or may not have texted them, telling them to grab anything they wanted signed. Yuuri signed things and Victor talked, which worked out perfectly. Yuuri and Victor smiled for pictures. Loop had Victor and Yuuri sign a t-shirt that said “Eat, Sleep, Skate”.

     Afterward, Yuuko bowed and apologized several times to Victor. She told him to come after 8:00 from then on, to avoid crowds. They knew that once all those pictures were posted on social media, Ice Castle would be crowded throughout the day with skating otaku wanting pictures and autographs.

     It wasn’t that people weren’t kind, they were. One of the moms tearfully told Victor that their family was praying for them both. Victor had given her a sincere hug. He appreciated it, he really did. But, Yuuri was just overwhelmed by the love. Everything for Yuuri seemed extra...extra bright...extra loud. It was like when you put your headphones on and don’t realize that the volume is turned up all the way. Nishigori had come in with the girls and offered to drive the couple home. They accepted. Before they left, Yuuko quietly told Victor about Yuuri’s commentary of his skating. Victor’s eyes got wide and then settled into a pleased expression.

     That night, the couple sat in bed and went through the book, as was their new routine. Victor added the story about Yuuri describing Katsudon as his Eros. Interestingly, Yuuri knew what Eros was.  
     “It’s...sexual love,” Yuuri said softly. (Was that a blush?)  Yuuri wrote a short little memory about liking when Vitya did his hair with a comb. “It feels relaxing,” he wrote.

     Together, they read through Yuuko’s memory. They had been rinkmates. They practiced in the same group for many years, even though Yuuri was two years younger. He was that good. When Yuuri was sad, they would watch footage of Victor’s programs. It always made Yuuri smile. Yuuko wrote about how kind Yuuri had been as a child. Once, there was a baby bird outside of the Ice Castle. It had blown out of tree. He kept it in the pocket of his hoodie and tried to take care of it.  
     “That is a great memory Yuuri,” Victor said. Yuuri looked thoughtful.  
   

     “Is it okay to have sad memories in the book?” Yuuri asked quietly. “I...remember...sad things too...the baby bird. It died. I couldn't save it.  I told Yuuko that it flew away, but I just didn't want to tell her...that I couldn't save it."  Tears pricked the corners of the younger man's eyes. 

     “Yuuri,” Victor said, placing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer. The older man sighed. "Go ahead and write about it, my love. All your memories. All your experiences make you who you are. They're all important.” Yuuri nodded solemnly and started to write. 

     “Vitya, gomen,” Yuuri said softly. “Did I make you sad?”  
     “Don't apologize. It’s okay if I'm sad," Victor looked down and tucked Yuuri's head under his chin.  "I’m sad because I love you.”


	10. Home At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit has an amazing surprise for Victor, The couple travels back to St. Petersburg and start to settle back into their home.

April 25th, 2019, St. Petersburg

     Saying goodbye to the Katsuki family, and the going away party they had the night before, had been emotionally exhausting for Victor and Yuuri. There had been a lot of hugs and tears being hidden and wiped away. Okasan kept apologizing whenever she got emotional and then she would disappear into the kitchen. Toshiya seemed the most in control. 

     “I know that you will take good care of him, Vicchan,” Toshiya said. “You always have.” Minako had promised to visit soon and she hinted that she might drag Mari along. Victor had noticed, however, that the triplets must have been threatened within an inch of their lives, because, they didn’t have any awkward questions all evening. Yuuri looked uncomfortable with everyone being emotional. He sat next to Victor and Alina stayed by his side all evening, her head in Yuuri’s lap. Petting the poodle seemed to give him something to distract him.

     Mari was quiet. She was often the person who could sense the atmosphere in the room. Later, after everyone had left, she cornered Victor and spoke to him bluntly,

     “I’m not sure that leaving Hatsetsu is the best thing to do,” she said. “If things in St. Petersburg aren’t going well, call me. And Victor...don’t be afraid to come back. You aren’t a failure for needing your family around you through something like this.”  
Victor looked at her in shock at first. Then, he took her hand and squeezed it.

     “Thanks, Mari. I’ll remember what you said,” he replied.

     The flight was stressful. The change in pressure gave Yuuri an awful headache. Victor comforted Yuuri the best he could as the raven haired man whimpered in his husband’s arms. It became awkward when a well-meaning flight attendant made three separate trips to ask Victor if Yuuri was okay. Victor was half concerned that they would land the plane somewhere and make them get off. Finally, Victor decided it might help to give her something to do.

     “Miss, can I have a bottle of water for my husband please.” Victor gave Yuuri one of the 6 remaining hydrocodone. Within a ½ hour, Yuuri began to relax in Victor’s arms and then fall into a restful sleep.

     Now, Yuuri was snuggled into their own bed. The silver haired man was so relieved to be home. They were in their home, the home that they had chosen together. It was the home that held all of their little mementos of their life together. Victor opened up a drawer in the modern, wooden black desk in the living room. He pulled out a stack of multicolored squares of paper that were tied together with a red silk ribbon. He set the stack down on the table and went to fetch a cup of coffee. He nursed his coffee and returned his attention to the stack of paper. The year that Victor had returned to skating, Yuuri had taken to writing his fiance little notes of encouragement every morning. Sometimes they were taped to his shampoo bottle or his toothpaste. Sometimes they were stuck on a door, tucked into his wallet, or trapped in his laptop.

     They said things like “Victor, thank you for your hard work.” “I’m so happy that you are mine.” Sometimes, they said silly things, “I loved the pancakes you made yesterday.” Later in the year, the notes included Russian phrases that he had learned. “Ty sogreyesh’ moyu dushu,” one note said, which means “You warm my soul.” Victor thought about the first time that Yuuri had used one of those Russian phrases in the bedroom. He shivered from head to toe.

     Victor heard a knock at the door. He put his coffee down, crossed the room to answer, and saw the postman with a brown box. The silver haired man accepted the package and closed the door. He looked at the address and saw that it was from Phichit. Victor grabbed a knife from the block on the counter and carefully cut through the tape. Inside was a picture storage box. Phichit had decoupaged pictures from what looked like old competition programs onto the outside. “Wow, this took a lot of work,” Victor said to himself. A letter was taped to the top. Victor removed the box and saw that a label was affixed to the front that said, “Victor & Yuuri.” Victor opened the letter first.

Dear Victor and Yuuri,  
     Sorry that it took so long to get these pictures to you! Chris and I contacted everyone we knew that would have pictures of the two of you and then had everyone email pictures to me. I printed them and sorted them by year as best I could. There are  
300 pictures. I’m embarrassed to tell you how many of them came just from my phone and Chris’s phone. If you had a stalker, they probably wouldn’t have as impressive a collection.

Love,  
Phichit

     Victor opened up the box and started thumbing through the pictures. He drew in a breath and wiped away a threatening tear with the back of his right hand. The first set of pictures was of Victor and Yuuri dancing together at the Sochi banquet. Victor face split into a grin, while happy tears sprung again. Yuuri was making bull’s horns with his fingers, pawing the ground as if he was about to charge and Victor was the matador. A little further back, there was a picture from Hot Springs on Ice that Yuuko had taken after it was all over. ‘That day was the first time that sober Yuuri had reached out and hugged me,’ Victor thought. There was a picture from Four Continents of Yuuri holding up his gold medal, while Victor had launched a surprise kiss from the left. Yuuri was blushing brilliantly.

     There was a picture of Yuuri, Victor, and Makkachin from their wedding. Victor’s costume designer had made wedding costumes for the couple and Makkachin. They looked like traditional tuxedos but they also spoke of Yuuri’s japanese heritage in the details. The cloth looked black from far away but, close up, had a beautiful floral pattern. There were no buttons, but the coats were tied. Victor’s tuxedo had a long coat that went to his knees. Yuuri’s was styled after a Hakama or traditional Japanese formal wear. His coat was cut somewhat shorter and his pants were cut wider and had a pattern of black and white stripes. The dress shirt and coat were black. Makkachin had what looked like a traditional tuxedo, except that the sash at the bottom was made from the same fabric as Yuuri’s pants and was tied in the front, like Yuuri’s.

     Victor sat for a moment just staring at this precious gift. They had formal pictures of the wedding. Yuuri always complained that Victor had put on his “media smile” for the formal pictures. But, this casual shot...this was amazing. Yuuri was trying to hold Makkachin still for a moment. His eyes were screwed shut in a laugh. Victor was trying to pose with his camera smile, but was looking over at Yuuri and broke out in his his real Victor grin. ‘I’ve never seen this picture. Phichit had to have taken this. It truly was the happiest of days,’ Victor thought with a nostalgic smile.

     Victor texted Chris and Phichit and thanked them for the pictures.  
     Victor_Nikiforov: Just got the box of pictures! These are amazing! <3 <3 <3  
     They both answered almost immediately with lots of <3 <3 and love.

     Victor noticed the time on his phone and realized it was nearly 11:00 AM. He needed to get Yuuri out of bed so that he could sleep tonight. He finished up his coffee, while thumbing through the box of photos. While he was walking toward the bedroom, he heard Alina’s jangling collar coming toward him.

     “What’s the matter girl?” Alina rubbed up against Victor’s hand. Then, she turned around and walked back toward the bed. Yuuri’s brow was furrowed in pain. Victor could tell from his position that his back and shoulders were tense.

     Travel had always been hard on Yuuri. During the competition season, they purposely arrived 3 or 4 days, or even a week, before a competition and rented local rink space to continue training. Victor would make arrangements the very day that the competitions were announced. This was a revelation that seemed like a no brainer, but greatly reduced Yuuri’s anxiety and made the whole competition more relaxed. Yuuri was always so budget minded that he only ever used the vouchers for the hotel and the coach air tickets that were provided by the JSF. All that changed when they moved to St. Petersburg. Victor worked on getting Yuuri more sponsors and called in favors from sponsors for accomodations. The year that they skated together, Victor noticed an improvement not only in Yuuri’s performance, but in his own. Of course, at the time, Victor teased Yuuri that they were both more relaxed for...other reasons.

     Victor climbed onto the bed. He was hoping that he could relax Yuuri with some ibuprofen and some massage and save the serious pain meds. There were only 4 remaining after the more than 20 hours of travel, including a layover. At least the layover was in Singapore, which has to be the best airport in the world. They have rest areas with recliners, where Victor was able to find Yuuri some peace and quiet.  
Victor got a few ibuprofen and a cup of water and some jasmine massage oil. He crawled up on the bed and roused Yuuri enough to give him the medicine.

     “Lay on your stomach my love,” Victor said quietly in his husband’s ear. As Yuuri was adjusting his position, Victor took the opportunity to remove the younger man’s shirt. It was sweaty and Yuuri should change it anyway, Victor thought. He peeled back the blanket to his husband’s waist and poured some of the massage oil in his hands. The silver haired man hoped that the jasmine scent would be soothing as he warmed it between his hands. Starting at his upper arms, Victor kneaded the younger man’s skin with his warm hands. He moved to Yuuri’s shoulders and then to his shoulder blades. He moved his hands from the middle of Yuuri’s back and up either side of his spine, to the base of his neck. By now, the ibuprofen was taking the edge off and Yuuri was visibly relaxing under Victor’s ministrations. Finally, the older man worked on Yuuri’s lower back, rubbing the oil in large circles from the middle and out to the sides. The younger man sighed. Victor tilted his head to one side and smiled affectionately down at his husband. Alina took that moment to stand up on the bed and lick Victor right in the face.  
     “Alina! Yes, well it is nice to be appreciated, isn’t it,” Victor said. He gently pushed Alina back so that he could change positions. He put both feet under the duvet and pulled Yuuri to his chest to warm him back up. Victor lay with his right arm pillowing his head. With his left, he gently rubbed Yuuri’s arm that lay in front of him. After a few minutes, Victor started thinking about making some lunch. He pulled his hand away and started to turn around.

     “Vitya,” Yuuri said softly.  
     “What do you need my love,” Victor said soothingly.  
     “Stay,” Yuuri replied sleepily.  
     “For a little bit longer,” Victor replied, encircling Yuuri in his arms once again. Alina took that moment to plop down at Victor’s back. Victor vaguely thought that the two of them were working together...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, with this chapter, we are caught up to the first chapter. If you haven't read recently, reread the first chapter. This story has evolved a lot on it's own, as I have written it. So, chapter one needed to be updated. My writing teacher in High School always said, "Writing is rewriting!"


	11. An Anniversary To Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready to laugh and cry. It is Victor and Yuuri's 3rd anniversary. It is a day neither will ever forget.

May 15, 2019

     Victor got up early and stood in front of the bathroom mirror wearing some pajama pants and a t-shirt. He stroked his beard a few times, turning his head left and right, but holding his view in the mirror. He sighed and unpackaged the beard trimmer that he had purchased the day before. He liked the beard and thought if Yuuri didn’t mind, he would grow it again in the fall. He laid a towel in the sink to catch the hair and used the scissors in the package to cut the beard close to his face. Then, he chose the shortest attachment to the trimmer and went over what was left of his beard. Victor removed the towel and brushed the hair into the trash. He finished off the job with shaving cream and a new razor. When he was finished, he had to admit, he looked 10 years younger, at least.

     Yuri Plisetsky had been merciless to Victor, concerning the beard, since he had begun bringing Yuuri back to the rink for workouts every day. The skating legend was used to Yura calling him old man and geezer, but Victor’s vanity just couldn’t withstand when he started calling him Ded Moroz, which is the Russian version of Santa Claus.

     Today, was Victor and Yuuri’s third wedding anniversary. Victor was determined that it would be a special day for them as a couple. They would take Alina to the park, eat goulash over rice at their favorite restaurant for lunch, and then Victor would cook katsudon at home for Yuuri, using Okasan’s recipe. They would snuggle on the couch with a blanket and continue to look through the hundreds of pictures that their friends had sent to them for the book. One of the pictures would obviously bring back all of Yuuri’s memories and they would spend the rest of the evening making love. ‘That’s the plan,’ Victor thought to himself as he smacked the top of the shaving cream back onto the container with a snap.

     Alina used her nose to push the cracked bathroom door open so that she could enter. She looked up at Victor and pushed her nose against the back of his leg. Victor followed Alina into the bedroom to see Yuuri quickly trying to pull the sheets off of the bed. When Victor entered the room, Yuuri stopped and looked up at him like a deer in headlights. Victor knit his brow in concern and asked, “Yuuri, what’s wrong.”  
     “I...um...I had a dream...um...a nice dream,” Yuuri explained, shrugging, and still gathering sheets.  
     “It’s okay Yuuri. I’ll get this, you go get a shower,” Victor said, trying not to laugh. Victor had vague memories of this kind of thing from when he was fifteen. Yuuri dropped the sheets and headed to the bathroom. Victor gathered up the sheets and headed into the kitchen. They had a space saver washer and dryer that was all one machine. It was in a kind of small closet and could be easily hidden.

     Victor had been doing a lot of research on how to get Yuuri back into tip top shape, without injury. He came across a video about a female American swimmer, named Dara Torres, who came back to the Olympics at age 41, after having a child, and set an American record. The workout included a huge nutritional component, which they were already doing. It also included adding resistance to a long stretching routine. After seeing that, the skating legend was sold. This would be very easy to add to Yuuri’s daily workout. They already had resistance bands in the workout room. At the end of each evening, however, Victor had been giving Yuuri a massage to ease his sore muscles. The video had said that Ms. Torres had also ended her workouts to prepare for the Olympics with an hour of stretching and massage. Victor wondered if the stretching and massage...Hmmm...He might ask about the dream later...you know, for the book.

     Victor went back into the bedroom and made up the bed with new sheets. The duvet looked fine. He turned it and opened up the window a bit to air out the room. Victor cracked the bathroom door while knocking,

     “Yuuri, I’m just grabbing your laundry,” Victor said casually.  
     “Vitya!” Yuuri replied, flustered. Victor ignored him and picked up the clothing off the floor. Victor added the clothing to the load. He wouldn’t start the washer until Yuuri was out of the shower.

     Victor pulled out a packet of dashi and miso to make Yuuri a quick miso soup. He also chopped some green onion and mushrooms to add to the soup. He also added the green onion to the rolled eggs. Mari had picked up a small rectangular pan, in Hatsetsu, for Victor, which made the rolled eggs super quick and easy to make. Since they would be eating a lot of rice today, Victor decided to serve smoked salmon to cut down on the carbs a bit.

     A diet based loosely on the paleo diet had been an amazing help in managing Yuuri’s anxiety the last few years. Since professional athletes have to be very careful to avoid disqualifying medications, Yuuri and Victor made a plan that included a lot of different components, including diet, smarter travel, and sometimes counseling.

     One part, the diet, they discovered kind of by accident. At Skate America, they heard a Spanish skater complaining that her anxiety had gone through the roof since eating the American diet for one year studying in New England. They realized that although Yuuri had always suffered from some anxiety, that it became truly paralyzing after he moved to Detroit and started eating an American diet. They cut out all grains and added foods back slowly. Basically, what they discovered was that Yuuri did best on a traditional Japanese diet. Corn was the worst. Also, Yuuri didn’t do well with a lot of sugar. Interestingly, Okasan said that Yuuri never liked sweet things as a child. After the diet, binge eating became a non-issue. It was amazing. Of course, sometimes there are special occasions.

     Victor walked into the bedroom to see Yuuri pulling on a thin black wool sweater over a white t-shirt. He was already wearing a pair of jeans.  
     “You look nice. Come eat breakfast,” Victor said. He went back into the kitchen and threw some strawberries, that he had cleaned yesterday, into a bowl. They needed to be eaten today. The older man fixed them both a plate and small bowl of soup and went to get a cup of coffee. There was green tea steeping on the stove for Yuuri.  
The raven haired man walked to the table and his eyes widened in surprise.  
     “Thank you for the meal Vitya! This looks great!” Yuuri said, suddenly eager.  
     “I forgot your tea,” Victor said, starting to get up.  
     “I’ll get it,” Yuuri put his hand up to stop him and fixed his tea in a Japanese earthenware cup they had picked up in Hatsetsu. It was Yuuri’s favorite since they got back home.  
     “Wow,” Yuuri said, you shaved your beard!” He reached out to Victor and cupped his face with his free hand. “So...smooth…” Yuuri’s thumb rubbed back and forth on his cheek.  
     “Do you like it better?” Victor asked, placing his hand over Yuuri’s.  
     “I do. You have a beautiful face,” Yuuri said softly. Victor noticed that Yuuri was blushing as he took his seat next to him.

     Yuuri ate his meal like a starving man, which made Victor smile.  
     “Those packets of Dashi were a find, weren’t they?” Victor asked.  
     “Yes, this tastes close to Okasan’s miso soup,” Yuuri replied, “It goes well with the fish and the eggs too. All it needs is a little rice.” The younger man looked up at Victor with a mischievous smile.  
     “Yuuri, if it was up to you, all you would eat is rice,” Victor smirked.  
Yuuri shrugged, “Maybe, and these rolled eggs.” Victor loved that his husband’s sense of humor was returning.

     “I’m running to the store to get a few things that I need to make katsudon for dinner. Is there anything you need?” Yuuri shook his head. Victor pulled on a light jacket and opened up the door. A startled postman took a step back and then handed Victor a package. It was a long tube.

     “Oh, Yuuri! This is from Mari. She said that they were cleaning out your old room when I talked to her on the phone the other day.” Victor handed him the package and followed the postman down the stairs.  
Yuuri looked at the package. On the outside it said “Happy Anniversary, Love, Mari <3” Yuuri smiled and walked over to the desk to find the scissors. He cut the tape holding down the plastic end of the tube and upended the tube into his hand. A bunch of rolled up posters came out.

     Yuuri walked into the bedroom and smoothed out the stack of posters on the bed. He tried to look at the next one in the stack, but they kept rolling back up. Yuuri bolted into the next room and looked on the desk for the tape. He found the scrapbooking tape that they used to put pictures in the book.

     “No, this won’t do,” Yuuri mumbled. He started to frantically open up drawers in the desk. He put both hands on either side of his head in frustration…”Think!”... He ran into the kitchen, sliding on his stocking feet as he went around the island. He opened up the junk drawer by the washing machine closet. There it was, the heavy duty, clear packing tape.

     Yuuri went back into the bedroom and started to hang every one of the posters. When he was done, he stepped back, wide eyed. These were the posters that Yuuri had collected from the time he was eight years old until he was 23. The raven haired man stood in front of his handiwork and touched the face on the poster. Victor’s hair was ruffled by the speed of his skating. His arms were thrown back and his eyes looked back at him with a burning intensity. When he was a teen, Yuuri thought Victor was so cool in this picture. Another poster showed a young Victor hugging a very young Makkachin.

     “Makka, I remember you…” Yuuri said softly. “You were such a special friend to Victor.”

     Yuuri ran into the room again and grabbed the photo box. He started to look through them with his fingers but quickly got impatient and dumped the whole box onto the middle of the bed. He picked up a picture of Victor, holding a coffee brown, poodle pup. His husband’s eyes were full of tears. Yuuri laughed at the memory and happy tears sprung to his eyes. How did they get this picture? _‘From my Instagram,’_ Yuuri guessed.

     He picked up another picture. It was a picture from the Grand Prix Final last year. Yuuri and Victor had been watching Yura in his Free Skate. Yuuri had both hands resting on the boards and Victor had maneuvered behind him, slipping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. Yuuri had never seen this picture. He knew it must have been Phichit who took it. Yuuri remembered the moment, however. Yura had skated to “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables. They were so proud of Yura. ‘You could see the pride and affection that we felt in our expressions,’ Yuuri thought. ‘His free skate showed how much he had matured as a skater and as a man.’

     “My husband,” Yuuri murmured. He looked down at his right hand. A chill went through his body when he saw that his ring was not there. Had it gotten lost in the accident? Yuuri sat in the middle of the bed. He picked through photos and started to lay out the pictures that brought forth a memory. He worked like an office worker suddenly given some outrageous deadline. Then, he got stuck on one particular picture. He stared at it, trying to place the face. Alina, moved closer to him.  
     “Hey girl,” Yuuri said and he began to rub her belly as he continued to pick up pictures with his other hand.

     Alina alerted, gave a woof, and ran to the front door. Moments later, Victor appeared in the door.  
     “Yuuri, what are you doing?”  
     “Victor. Victor, I remembered some things...important things!” Victor crossed the room in 3 steps and crawled onto the bed. With his right hand, Victor caressed his husband’s cheek and tears were springing to his eyes.  
     “What did you call me?” Victor said, shaking.  
     “Victor!” Yuuri said again laughing. Yuuri reached for his husband pulling him into a kiss with both hands on his face. Victor pulled him into an embrace, his arms around his waist. They were kissing and laughing until they fell over onto the pillows. They held each other fiercely, both wanting the moment to last...just a little longer. Victor loosened his grip a little so that he could see Yuuri’s face.

     “What did you remember my love?” Victor asked, kissing away Yuuri’s tears.  
     “I remembered that I love you,” Yuuri replied. This time Victor pulled the younger man into a kiss, a lover’s kiss. It was slow and passionate and it began to kindle a fire in Victor’s abdomen. After they kissed, Yuuri pushed Victor slightly away so that he could look into his lover’s eyes.

     “Victor, where is my ring? Was it lost?” Yuuri asked. Victor jumped up and walked across the room.  
     “No! I kept it for you. I didn’t want to make you wear it if you didn’t realize who I was to you.”  
Victor pulled out a cherry wood box and opened it. Victor pulled out the ring and crawled back onto the bed. Yuuri started to reach for it.  
     “Let me,” Victor said. “Yuurie, this is the happiest anniversary that I have ever had. I love you so much.” Victor slipped the ring back on his husband’s hand where it belonged.

     They settled back into the pillows again, Victor laid on his back and Yuuri rested his head on Victor’s shoulder with his arm and leg draped over his love. Victor stroked the arm on his chest softly. He looked thoughtful.  
     “What was it Yuuri? What triggered the memory?” Victor said softly while looking down at his husband.  
     “It wasn’t one thing,” Yuuri said thoughtfully. “I’ve been dreaming about you more and more. Sometimes, I’m watching you skate. Sometimes, we are sitting in the Hot Spring or talking in your bedroom in Hatsetsu. I had a dream of you combing my hair. It made me...aroused…It was confusing.”  
     “Were you dreaming about me this morning?” Victor asked.  
     “I only dream about you, Victor, since I was 13.” Yuuri said. He reached up and moved the older man’s hair, so he could see his whole face. “The posters though, it was like a dam breaking. I remembered my love for you...the love I’ve always had for you. Then it was like a lot of the pictures fell into place, like a puzzle. I don’t remember everything.”

     Victor sat up but, kept his arm around his lover’s waist.  
     “I see you have two piles. How do you have them sorted?” Victor asked.  
He pointed to the left pile, “These are the pictures that I remember.” He pointed to the right pile, “These are the pictures I don’t remember.”  
     “Yuuri, do you want to go out today or maybe stay in and order from Mrs. Chang and have them deliver?” Victor asked.

The younger man cupped Victor’s cheek and pulled him into a chaste kiss. “If we stay here, we can kiss more.”  
 

   “Yuuri, don’t just suddenly say such cute things. I’ll die,” Victor gasped. “What do you want to eat?”  
 

   “Goulash, rice, roasted vegetables,” Yuuri replied. Victor went to pick up his phone off the kitchen table. He realized he hadn’t put the groceries away! He put the food away, stored the bags in the closet, and pulled out his phone. He quickly called Mrs. Chang and put their order in. Then, he texted Mari.

Vicchan: He knows me. The posters you sent made him remember me.

Neechan: OMG! <3

     The rest of the afternoon was amazing. They sat with the book between them, in their pajamas, on the couch, eating delivery, kissing, writing in the book, pasting in pictures and labeling them. Victor had put on one of his skate date playlists in the background. Eventually, Duetto came over the speaker.  
 

     “Victor, dance with me. You said we would...in the hospital,” Yuuri said, pulling his husband to his feet.  
     “I will always dance with you my love,” Victor replied. Yuuri held Victor in a waltz, but they added bits of their old routine, such as a caress on the other’s face. Victor surprised Yuuri at one point by trying to pick Yuuri up into a lift. Both dissolved into a fit of laughter and the song ended with them laughing on the floor.

     Victor made katsudon for Yuuri and they ate together on the couch covered up in a blanket.  
     “We should take a picture of us together eating our katsudon.” Yuuri said. “Here, Victor put your legs apart. Sit like this.” Yuuri moved Victor’s legs so that he sat across the couch and Yuuri sat in the middle of his thighs. The younger man pulled the blanket back up over the two of them.

     “Can you reach the phone?” Yuuri asked. Victor handed him his phone and the raven haired man snapped a selfie of them holding up a pork cutlet bowl. He immediately posted it to Instagram with the caption.  
     “Still eating katsudon with Victor after 5 years.” Almost immediately, Yura posted a barfing emoji.  
     “Wow,” Victor said. “He must of had his phone in his hand.” Then, suddenly, Victor laughed out loud.  
     “What?” Yuuri asked.  
     “Look what Becka posted,” Victor replied.

Altin_Otabek: <3<3 Congratulations! #VictuuriForever

     When it was time for bed, Victor gathered up all the pictures and put them back in the box. He thought to himself that he wouldn’t tell Phichit that Yuuri had dumped all 300 pictures out onto the bed. When the living room no longer looked like a disaster, Victor put away the items that they had pulled off their bed. Then, he sat on the couch next to his husband and gently kissed him awake.

     “Should I carry you princess style or can you walk?” Victor asked, caressing his lover’s face. Victor sighed, “Maybe, I won’t get lucky tonight after all.”  
Victor hoisted the younger man into his arms. Yuuri draped his arms around Victor’s neck,

     “Maybe I’ll get lucky,” he said sleepily. Victor stopped, eyes wide, and looked down at his sleepy princess. Just in case, Victor didn’t let Alina follow them into the bedroom. Alina padded over to the couch and climbed up. She sniffed for a familiar scent and then did her circle three times before she laid down to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Yuuri and Victor got lucky...
> 
> The scene of Yuuri frantically putting up his lost posters is the first vision that I had for this story. I couldn't wait to write this chapter, so you get two this week. Enjoy!


	12. The Music Still Flows

May 20th, 2019

     Victor woke up first. His sleepy lover was held tightly to his bare chest. The older man used his first two fingers to brush the hair out of Yuuri’s face. He reached down and softly kissed his lover’s forehead. The past few days had been like a second honeymoon for the couple. They hadn’t even left the apartment from Wednesday until Friday afternoon, except to walk Alina. Friday afternoon, however, Victor realized that they were out of toilet paper and cream for his coffee. That basically amounted to an emergency.

     Yuuri stirred at the kiss. He opened one eye and placed his hand on his husband’s face.

 

     “Victor, kiss me again…” Yuuri said sleepily.

     “Of course, my love,” he replied. Victor shifted his position slightly and leaned in for a soft, lover’s kiss. Yuuri threaded his fingers in his husband’s silver hair and deepened the kiss. Victor pulled away after a several seconds.

     “We need to get up my love. If we want free ice, we need to get moving.” Yakov clued them in that if they got to the rink right at 7:00 AM, the kids heading to school would be leaving and regular lessons didn’t start till 8:30. The ice would be virtually empty. That meant flipping Yuuri’s workout, but the run to the rink was a good enough warm-up and with a 20 minute dynamic workout, including some stretching and core work, Yuuri had the ice to himself for nearly a whole hour and half. But, it meant getting up at 5:00 AM. At least they didn’t have to do their run in the dark. Sunrise was around 4:30 AM. They would have to leave the house by 6:00 AM.

     Yuuri sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He didn’t like to be rushed in the mornings. Luckily, he tended to have a pretty low maintenance routine in the mornings, unlike Victor. He didn’t really even need to shave more than every three days or so. He looked up and smiled at the wall of Victor posters. Victor had asked him yesterday,

     “You’re not leaving those up forever are you?” The younger man had thought maybe they could just pick one of them and frame it. He wanted to remember what happened on their anniversary the other day. It was...important. Suddenly inspired, Yuuri picked up his phone and took a picture of the wall. He walked into the other room and dug around in the desk drawer and found a pack of photo paper. He loaded it into the printer and sent the picture to print. He put the picture on top of their book of memories. Later, he would add the story.

     Yuuri padded over to the coffee maker and started coffee for his husband. Yesterday, Victor had made paleo muffins for their breakfast. They were made with almond flour, a can of pumpkin puree, eggs, and coconut. Yuuri loved them and they packed a lot of nutrition. He mixed up a quick Tamogoyaki egg mixture and poured it into the rectangular pan. He used all the mixture and sliced them up. Some would be a snack for later and some would be for breakfast. Victor slid two arms around Yuuri from behind. Then, he kissed his love behind his right ear. It tickled the younger man and he instinctively scrunched up his right shoulder.

     “Hey, I’m trying to cook here,” Yuuri complained, but he smiled and turned his head for a chaste kiss on the mouth. “Your coffee should be ready.”

     “Thanks love,” Victor replied, while pulling down his steel walled coffee cup from a shelf.

     The couple ate a quick breakfast together. They dropped their plates in the dishwasher and packaged up a bento full of snacks for later. Yuuri grabbed his water bottle and filled it. Yuuri brushed his teeth, washed his face, and pulled on his workout attire. Victor grabbed his backpack. He carried their snacks and his notebook full of training notes. He clipped Alina into her lead and they were ready. They were out the door a bit before 6:00.

     “It was a good idea to make those muffins yesterday,” Yuuri said.

     “Yeah, most pre-packaged foods are not on your plan,” Victor replied.

     Out in front of their building, Yuuri laced his hands behind his head and did a series of lunges, first one leg and then the other. At the bottom of each lunge, he would turn his torso to the left and then to the right. He did that till he got to the corner. Then, he did a set of burpees. He jumped in the air, reaching for the sky, and then touched the ground, kicked out into a push-up position, and then did a push-up.

     Alina got very excited, when Yuuri would do burpees. She would sit by Victor’s side, tilting her head side to side and then when he would jump into the air, she would sit up and paw at the air with her front paws. Victor laughed the first time she did it. When Yuuri finished the set, he reached down and patted Alina on the head and then carefully crossed at the signal. Yuuri’s cheeks were red and he was breathing hard by the time they reached the Ice Plex door. Yuuri placed his hands on his hips and slowly walked around the sidewalk area, waiting for Alina and Victor to catch up. Around the 2 kilometer mark, the younger man generally pulled ahead. Yuuri’s stamina was legendary.

     They entered together and Victor grabbed the skating bags and left Alina in Yakov’s office. Yakov greeted the couple warmly and then went back to his work. This little lull in Yakov’s day was a precious chance to work on paperwork for travel and correspondence with sponsors and possible recruits for his programs.

     Both men laced up their skates. Yuuri smiled looking down on Victor’s gold skates. He remembered Yuuko telling him about Victor having gold skates because he won so many gold medals. The truth was less impressive.

     “I just liked them,” Victor had told him once. “They matched the gold on my costume.” Victor was actually way more simple than the media would have you believe.

     “Victor?” Yuuri asked.

     “Yes, my love,” Victor replied, finishing up his lacing.

     “About what we talked about yesterday,” Yuuri said, looking out at the ice. “I want to try some jumps.” Victor tilted his head to one side and studied Yuuri’s face.

     “I don’t think that is a good idea yet Yuuri,” Victor replied.

     “Victor, why am I doing this if I can’t jump?” Yuuri asked plainly.

     Victor sighed, “Yuuri, you have to be patient. If you would fall…” Victor looked down.

 _‘I just got you back. I can’t lose you again,’_ Victor thought.

     “My accident...it wasn’t a skating accident Victor. I was hit by a car. I know how to fall,” Yuuri spoke evenly, but his coach heard a hint of frustration.

     Victor stood up and walked toward the boards. He rested his elbows on the boards and looked out at the ice. Yuuri walked up and stood next to Victor.

     “I’m sorry Yuuri. This is hard for me because I am not just your coach. It is just like the chopsticks isn’t it? I know that it is important for you to get back into your routines. But, this time last week...you didn’t remember me as your husband and...I…” Victor faltered. Yuuri brought his hand to Victor’s face and turned it to meet his gaze.

     “Victor, when we enter this building, I need you to be my coach. I need you to push me,” Yuuri said this with intensity, but then he tilted his head and smiled, “I need you to be kind of a hard ass.” Yakov walked toward them,

     “Keep your hands to yourself Katsuki and get on the ice.” Yuuri winked at Victor and began to skate a few warm up laps.

     “No quads Yuuri. I mean it,” Victor yelled after him. “He’s going to kill me,” Victor said to Yakov.

     “He has to get back to doing his jumps, Victor. The longer he waits, the harder it will be to get his quads later in the season,” Yakov shrugged. “Do you have ideas for his programs?”

     “I’ve been thinking about a song for his short program. But, I want his opinion,” Victor said to Yakov a little absentmindedly. Yuuri was setting up for what looked like a Salchow. Victor gripped the boards and rose up on his skates, like he was about to jump too. Yuuri did a perfect double Salchow.

     “Yuuri,” Victor called. He motioned for the raven haired skater to come to him and Yakov. Victor punched a few keys on his phone, pulling up a song. “Yakov, could you play this song? Loop it a few times please,” Victor said, handing Yakov the phone. “Yuuri, I am thinking about this song for your Short Program. I have a rough outline of the routine, but I want to see you dance to it. Get a feel for the song. Think about how it inspires you,” Victor said. Victor came out on the ice.

     Both men skated out to the middle of the rink for the start of the song. The song _River Flows In You_ , by Yiruma, started to play over the speakers. Yuuri stood in the middle of the ice, his head bowed and eyes closed as if in prayer. His hands were on his hips. He listened. As the theme began to repeat, Victor watched Yuuri stretch out his arm and then pull it back into his chest. The skating legend recognized the ghost of a spin element. He knew that in his mind’s eye, Yuuri was dancing and skating around the ice to this song already. The last note played and after a few seconds, the song began to repeat.

     “Yakov, restart the song please. I’ll give you a nod,” Yuuri said, taking a starting pose. He placed his left hand over his heart. His right hand was stretched up over his head, as if he was reaching for something. His eyes were searching the skies for whatever he was reaching for. He gave a nod. The song started slowly. He extended is left hand to reach with his right and then made a wide circle with his hands and brought them back to his sides. Yuuri looked more like a ballet dancer than a skater. His movements were fluid and full of grace. As the pace of the music quickened, Yuuri built up speed and launched on his outside edge for a triple Axel. Victor caught his breath as he watched Yuuri wobble a bit on his landing. This part of the dance was fast and Yuuri added footwork that reminded Victor of water that was skipping and burbling over round rocks in the bottom of a mountain stream. Yuuri then launched in a beautiful camel spin. The raven haired skater seemed to tire after that. He attempted a combination jump and managed a double toe loop but then marked the second jump.

     He skated to the center and listened to the last bit of the song. He was breathing hard and stood a few feet from Victor with his hands on his hips.

     “Yakov, go ahead and stop the music,” Victor said, waving to Yakov in thanks. “What do you think Yuuri?” Victor asked.

     “I see a lot of potential for footwork with the lighthearted theme. I think it suits my style,” Yuuri said, thoughtfully.

     “I liked your camel spin and your footwork,” Victor said, “But, you tired quickly. We’ll have to consider moving your jumps to the front of the program till you can rebuild your stamina.”

     The skating legend was Yuuri’s choreographer and Victor was now as legendary a choreographer as he was a skater. Right now, all the world records in singles skating, men’s and women’s, were noted as being choreographed by Victor Nikiforov. But, the silver haired legend always had his husband’s input into the choreography of his programs. Yuuri was a beautiful dancer and he always added his own style. He had that intrinsic ability to interpret the music like it was something produced by his own body. Yuuri took several long pulls on his water bottle.

     “I want to think about that choreography a little bit more,” Victor said, “How about doubles for the rest of practice?”

     “We only have about a half an hour left,” Yuuri looked at the clock on the wall. “Skate with me Vitya.” Yuuri smiled at him and took his hand. Yakov rolled his eyes.

     “I’ll be in my office,” Yakov said gruffly.

     “Thank you Yakov,” Victor said with a smile. The lovers skated around the ice together. Victor softly gave Yuuri directions in his ear. They did bits of _Duetto_ and some of their other old routines. At one point, they did double flips side by side. Yuuri’s position was a little off as he landed and his leg crumpled. He rolled out of the fall and got up quickly. Victor stopped.

     “Are you okay?” He asked. “Do you have any pain?”

     “I’m okay,” Yuuri said, “I’m just a little tired.” Victor looked over at the clock.

     “It is time to stop anyway. Good workout, yes?” “Yeah,” Yuuri replied. Both men were red in the face and breathing hard. They cleaned off their skates, put their guards on, and put their skates away for the day.

     They sat on the bench and took out the snacks Yuuri had packed. The muffins were pretty good. Victor had gotten the recipe from Lilia. He would have to tell her that they liked them. When they had finished, they made their way to the workout room.

     Yuuri found the right resistance band and began the routine that Victor had designed. It didn’t look like it should be that much harder, but Yuuri soon had sweat dripping down the sides of his face and his face was red with the effort of performing his barre routine with the bands. Victor walked up behind him and raised his elbow until it was perfectly parallel to the floor. Victor looked at Yuuri from behind. The muscles in his back and his shoulders were already more defined.

 _'Damn, he looks amazing,’_ Victor thought. He shook his head.

     Toward the end of the workout, Lilia walked in. She looked at what they were doing with the bands and suddenly had a look like a very bad smell was under her nose.

     “Victor, you are a sadist.” She said in disgust. “What are you doing to that beautiful dancer?”

     “Right now, we are just finishing up,” Victor said. Yuuri got disinfectant wipes and paper towel and cleaned the barre and the floor. It was bad manners to leave the place a sweaty mess. As Yuuri walked by to put the cleaning supplies away, Lilia grabbed Yuuri’s face and kissed his cheek.

     “We are so happy to have you back again Yuuri.”

     “Please stop sexually harassing my husband Lilia,” Victor said playfully. Lilia clicked her tongue,

     “Get out of my studio, Victor,” She replied scornfully. “You can come again tomorrow.” She smiled at the couple and waved them off. By this time, it was nearly 11:00.

     The couple picked up Alina and started to walk home. They decided to stop in a cafe that had outdoor seating. Victor ordered a coffee. Yuuri had a green tea infused with basil. It is supposed to be some kind of anti-inflammatory. Okasan had taught Yuuri all about herbs to use for different things.

     “Yuuri, what is your goal this year?” Victor asked and then took a sip of his coffee. Yuuri held his green tea in both of his hands, warming them. He looked thoughtful and looked out into the plaza.

     “To defend my championship and to retire on my own terms,” Yuuri said and then took another sip of his tea. Then, he looked at Victor directly and said, “I don’t want some accident or some person to tell me I can’t skate anymore. If I fail to advance, that is one thing, I suppose...but, I will have done my best.” Victor reached out and cupped Yuuri’s cheek.

     “And, I will always stand by you,” he said. Yuuri softened and held the hand that cupped his cheek.

     “I know. That is how I know that I can succeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what are you thinking?


	13. Assignment Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor nervously await the Grand Prix Competition assignments.  
> Yakov gives Victor an offer he might not be able to refuse.

June 28th, St. Petersburg

     Yuuri had made an amazing amount of progress with his new training program. Their practice on the ice had been very encouraging today. Yuuri landed all of his jumps perfectly. His stamina was nearly back to where it had been pre-accident. Victor had let him add back his quad toe loop, which was the very first quad that Yuuri had ever landed successfully as a 20 year old.

     The ballet studio was warm today and Yuuri had taken his shirt off. The sun streamed in through the wall of windows. The Japanese dancer glistened with his efforts and the sun shining on his skin.  
Victor stood near his husband and observed the definition he had gained in the muscles in his back and arms with pride. By this point, Yuuri looked like he was chiseled out of marble.

     Lilia entered the studio and looked at Yuuri, up and down. “Are you going to practice one of those strange modern dances Yuuri? Put on your clothes.”  
     “Yes, ma’am. I apologize,” Yuuri said in his perfect Russian, while scurrying to pull on his shirt.

     Victor smiled to himself, “That’s all you’ve got today Lilia? No more complaints about me torturing Yuuri with my strange methods?” Lilia just sniffed. Victor knew that it was probably killing Lilia that Yuuri had seemingly thrived under this new regimen. Lilia feigned deafness and reached for something in her bag. It was a small container.  
     “Yuuri, I made a paleo strawberry lemon cheesecake that turned out well. It is made with silken tofu. I brought you a piece to try. It is not very sweet so you should like it. I emailed you the recipe.”

     Yuuri’s eyes lit up. He loved strawberries and he didn’t have a lot of recipes for treats. Lilia had started advising some of her dancers to try the Paleo diet, because of Yuuri, and had liked the results. Some of her female skaters that had struggled with weight, all of a sudden, had no problems with it. She was always trying new recipes and Yuuri was one of her willing tasters.  
     “Spasibo Lilia! I can’t wait to try it!” Yuuri received the container with both hands and looked at it like it was a precious treasure. Yuuri was hot from the workout today. His olive skin had a sheen from perspiration and his raven colored hair was plastered to his face. He quickly checked his phone and then packed his bag.

     “I’m going to get a shower Victor,” Yuuri said, “Again, Spasibo Lilia. See you tomorrow.”  
     “Victor,” Lilia called to the older man as he was heading for the door, “How long are you going to hide Yuuri away from the rest of the skaters? It would be good for Yuuri to get used to skating with the others again. I know that Yurochka misses him.”

     Victor stopped and placed his hand on the door frame. He didn’t turn to face Lilia, however. “Soon,” was all he said. He waited for Yuuri in Yakov’s office.

     Yuuri walked into Yakov’s office and stowed his skate bag in the corner. Victor was sitting in a chair opposite Yakov’s desk. His legs were apart and Alina sat in between. Victor was massaging behind the pups ears, lost in thought. Alina had her eyes closed, panting. She was in doggie heaven.

     “Alina probably needs some water,” Yuuri observed. Victor snapped out of his reverie.  
     “You’re probably right. How about we walk to Zoom and enjoy the nice weather?” Zoom is a dog friendly cafe. They have amazing salads that worked well for Yuuri’s eating plan, but were filling, and still seemed like a treat.

     Once outside, Yuuri slowly poured out some of his water bottle so that Alina could get a drink. There was just a hint of chill in the air outside, even though the sun felt warm on Yuuri’s black t-shirt. The sky was shockingly blue, without even a hint of a cloud.  
     “Victor, you should put on some sunblock. It’s a half hour walk,” Yuuri fussed. Victor answered with a hum and took a tube out of his pocket. He rubbed the cream on the back of his neck and his face.  
     “Come here love,” Victor said softly. Victor used what was left on his hand to rub on Yuuri’s nose and cheeks. Then, he placed a quick kiss on his husband’s lips. Yuuri returned a smile.

     Yuuri held Alina’s lead and they walked arm in arm to the cafe. Soon, they were seated, with Alina curled up under the table. Victor and Yuuri both were intermittently glancing at their phones.  
     Yuuri sighed, “This is going to drive me crazy. When do you think they will make the announcement?”  
     “Some time today,” Victor shrugged. Today, the ISU would announce the assignments for the Grand Prix Series. Victor was hoping for later competitions to give Yuuri the most time to heal. However, they usually don’t give you the same assignments two years in a row and Yuuri’s assignments last year had both been in November. The silver haired legend feared that Yuuri was due for an October assignment.

     On the walk home, Victor noticed that Yuuri had his right hand on the side of his forehead, rubbing back and forth toward the side of his head.  
     “Are you worried about the assignments Yuuri?” Victor queried.  
Yuuri seemed a little embarrassed that he was caught and dropped his hand.  
     “Maybe a little, but I have a headache. Maybe I didn’t drink enough today,” Yuuri said distractedly. Victor knit his brow in concern.  
      _‘Maybe your head went through a windshield a few months ago,’_ he thought.

     By the time that they walked into the apartment, Yuuri was in obvious pain. The older man could see the tension in his shoulders and the pained expression on his face.  
They kicked off their shoes at the door and hung up Alina’s lead. Alina went straight to her water dish and lapped up the cool liquid. Victor led Yuuri by the hand to their bedroom. He put his hand to his husband’s cheek and kissed him softly.  
     “I’ll be right back love,” Victor said.  
     “Put my cheesecake in the fridge for me...please,” Yuuri said, as Victor left the room. The raven haired man pulled off his shirt again and changed into a pair of cotton shorts. He didn’t want to wear anything that was confining. His headache was building and throbbing. He walked over and pulled the curtains closed so that the room was dark. Then, the younger man removed his glasses, put them on the bedside table, and peeled back the summer weight blanket to lay down on the bed.

     When Victor returned, Yuuri was on his side, eyes closed, and nearly in a fetal position. Victor climbed onto the bed and spooned up behind his lover.  
     “Yuuri, my love, take this,” Victor said softly, handing him the glass of water and two ibuprofen.  
     “It doesn’t help Victor,” Yuuri replied. It sounded like a plea.  
     “It does a little,” Victor reassured, “Finish all the water. Then, I will give you a massage and when the medicine kicks in, you can sleep.”

     The raven haired man finished the water quickly and then settled onto his stomach. Victor rubbed his hands with oil that smelled like vanilla and began to ease the tension out of his husband’s body.  
     “You’re going to smell like cookies Yuurie,” Victor said with a hint of amusement in his voice.  
     “Those aren’t on my plan Victor,” Yuuri replied.  
     “They are part of my plan,” the older man teased. He kissed Yuuri’s shoulder and then resumed his work. Soon, the tension in the younger man’s shoulders and back had eased. Victor had put his Yiruma Essentials playlist on to play softly in the background. Tenderly, Yuuri’s beautiful man rubbed his limbs until Yuuri felt fuzzy and boneless.  
After finishing Yuuri’s massage, Victor settled down next to Yuuri and pulled him into his arms back to chest.  
     “Is this okay?” Victor asked. Yuuri hummed and nodded sleepily. The two dozed.

     Victor was awakened by the sound of a notification that interrupted the soft music that was still playing. He stretched and reached for his phone on the bedside table. The assignments were announced.

     Phichit, Kurt, and Yuuri would all be in Las Vegas for Skate America. Then, Yuurie would skate a month later at the Rostelecom Cup against Adriane and Yura.  
     “Damn,” Victor whispered. Yuuri was in the very first competition, the second week of October.  
Victor’s phone pinged again with another notification. He carefully rolled out of bed so as not to wake his sleeping beauty. He turned off the speaker on the bedside table and quietly left the bedroom, closing the door without a sound.

Yakov_Coach: Did you see the assignments?  
                                                                                             :( Da. Victor_Nikiforov  
Yakov_Coach: I’m coming over.

 

     Less than 15 minutes later, Yakov was ringing the buzzer. Victor pressed the button to unlock the door and opened the door of the apartment to meet him on the stairs. Victor took Yakov's hat and put his finger to his lips to let Yakov know that Yuuri was sleeping.

     “Yuuri doesn’t know the assignments yet?” Yakov inquired. Victor shook his head and motioned for Yakov to have a seat. Victor headed into the kitchen to make coffee.  
     “Coffee Yakov?” Victor asked as he filled the carafe with water.  
     “Yes, please,” Yakov said as he settled into the couch. Alina approached him and Yakov started to pet the poodle’s head.  
     “You’re going to have to adjust your skater’s practice schedule Vitya,” the old coach counseled, “Yuuri needs more jump practice. Although, I must say, Yuuri looks like he is as strong as an ox.”

     “You should see him without his shirt,” Victor crowed, “He looks like a Greek god.” Yakov raised an eyebrow.  
     “I’ll take your word for it Vitya,” Yakov deadpanned. “I recommend you up his ice time to three hours in addition to his other workout.” Yakov could here Victor sigh in the kitchen. Yakov didn’t give a damn about workouts by old American swimmers. His ways had produced champions for over 30 years.  
     “Vitya, I want you to supervise jump practice for my skaters and I have a few requests for choreography. I will pay you well and give you free ice time while you are there.”

     Victor stood at the counter in the kitchen. Having the ice to themselves had been expensive. Victor knew they couldn’t afford to brush off this offer.  
     “Who?” Victor asked, turning to look at Yakov in the other room.  
     “Adriane and Mila,” Yakov replied. “Vitya, they have a common sponsor who has offered to pick up Yuuri, if you will also do their choreography. Your name is still on record for every singles world record. That carries a lot of weight.”  
     “One program or both?” Victor asked.  
     “At least one, but if you do both, it is double the money,” Yakov divulged. The silver haired legend fumbled briefly, almost dropping a coffee mug on the counter. _‘Double the money? Wow,’_ he thought.  
     “The jumps practice position, is the money from you or the sponsor?” Victor asked pointedly.  
     Yakov sighed, “Vitya, you know that I have been trying to get you to work for me for years, but, it is also a condition from the sponsor. Adriane only has 2 quads.”  
     “I guess they don’t realize that I’m not a miracle worker. Yuuri’s stamina is not something I can train Adriane to have,” Victor commented.  
     “You have a knack for discovering the gifts that a skater already has Victor. That is why Mila and Yuuri have those records. Don’t sell yourself short,” Yakov countered. Victor was taken aback by the complement. The younger man fixed their coffee and returned to the living room to face his old coach.  
     “I’ll need to talk to Yuuri about this. You know, however, that we could use the money,” Victor admitted.  
     “That is why I am here Vitya,” the old coach noted.

     “Yuuri...he still has those awful headaches.” Victor confided as he sank into the couch next to his old mentor. “I’m afraid that October is going to be too soon Yakov.” Victor sighed. The older man placed his hand on Victor’s shoulder. “Whatever you need Vitya, I want to help you. We are family,” Yakov urged leaning toward the younger coach. The two men sat for several moments in silence, sipping their coffee. Victor was especially deep in thought.

     “Do I have to go to all their competitions? That might be a deal breaker for me.” Victor challenged.  
     “If you are considering this seriously, I will have a contract drawn up. Talk to Yuuri.” Yakov finished his coffee. “Well, I will be on my way. Lilia is making some kind of caveman dish she wants me to try.” Victor chuckled.  
     “You mean Paleo?” Victor countered.  
     “That is what I said.” Yakov replied, while taking his hat off the hook by the door. “See you tomorrow. We will talk about your schedule then. Be a little early.”

     Victor’s phone buzzed.

Christophe-gc: See you in Vegas baby! <3 <3


	14. Coach Victor and Mr. Darcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple gets some exciting news and Victor's new job presents challenges.

July 15

     Victor padded into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He was up early, so early that he had to turn the coffee pot on himself because it was still 45 minutes before the automatic coffee pot would switch on and make his coffee. Coach Victor wasn’t sure he was going to survive his new “protege”. Adriane was what people in the coaching business like to call...an asshole. Yuuri tried to brush it over saying, “He could learn a little diplomacy.” Adriane said anything and everything that he was thinking, at any given moment. It was like his filter was broken. The young man didn’t take correction well either. Yesterday, Victor commented something along the lines, “You are going to make me lose my hair if you set up that jump like that again.” Adriane replied, “At your age, you are lucky to have hair.” Yeah, everyone jokes about my hair, whatever. But, the digs at Yuuri, the back-handed compliments, “That was good, considering...” Victor wanted to trip him with his golden skate blade. The only consolation that Victor had was knowing that Yuuri was so strong right now, so ripped, that he could definitely kick Adriane’s ass.

     Mila was the total opposite. She took note of the change in Yuuri’s physique since he had begun his new training regimine. She had started to feel somewhat sluggish in the last year and wanted to change things up. She embraced the entire program, including the diet, and last week had started meeting them outside in the mornings to join them on their runs. Her place, that she shared with her mother, was only 2 blocks away so it was super convenient.

     Victor grabbed his coffee and sat at the kitchen table with a stack of mail. One of the pieces of mail was from Saitama International Medical Center. The silver haired man sighed. When he had seen the thick envelope yesterday, he had just thrown it in the stack of mail and hadn’t opened it. Victor grabbed a butter knife and opened the envelope. The first thing he pulled out was a check for 1,000,800 Yen. Victor just stared at the check. Quickly, he pulled out the the letter that was with the check. He read the letter with a look of utter shock, his hand covering his mouth. Hundreds of people had been sending checks to the hospital and to the JSF to help cover Yuuri’s medical bills. It took a while, but a trust was set up by the JSF to handle the money. There was enough to cover all cost of Yuuri’s treatment and rehab. The check was money that Victor sent the hospital toward their bills. It was being returned to them! There was another letter asking what to do with the money that was over and above their expenses. Would they consider a donation to the hospital? Victor’s mind was blown.  
     When Yuuri had seen the letter, he was equally amazed. He sat at the table in his favorite grey t-shirt and pajama pants, scratching his raven colored bed head.  
     “Victor, I want to help people with the extra money,” Yuuri said softly.  
     “What do you have in mind?” The older man asked, reaching for Yuuri’s hand.  
     “I’m not sure. But, I want to give back to skating somehow…

     The boys finished up breakfast and Yuuri, Victor, Alina, and Mila looked like a little parade as they worked out on the streets of St. Petersburg. They headed to the ballet studio and worked at the barre, stretching and then beginning their work with the resistance bands. After an hour, Lilia came in to prepare for her morning class with the ice dancers.  
     “Victor, I see that Mila has joined your cult,” Lilia scoffed. “I brought you muffins to try Yuuri, chocolate coconut. Even Yakov likes them.”  
     “Wow! That sounds great!” Yuuri said gratefully. Mila and Yuuri started putting away their equipment and cleaning up their workout space.

     They changed and met Victor out at the rink. The older man was busy looking at his workout notes. Adriane was hanging on the boards, drinking out of his water bottle.  
     “You okay Yuuri? You look tired today. It must be hard coming back from an head injury at your age,” Adriane pointed out. Victor plunked his binder down on the wall and turned his head toward Adriane.  
     “He looks the same as he always does after working his ass off for 2 hours,” Victor informed the young man. “Go warm up and don’t stop till I think you look tired.” Yuuri placed his hand on his lover’s arm and said softly, “It’s alright Vitya. Don’t let him upset you.” Victor sighed and brought his hand up to the back of Yuuri’s head.  
     “You’re not going to kiss are you?” Yura snarled as he approached the boards.  
     “I wasn’t going to but…” Victor leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Yuuri’s lips, making sure to annoy the hell out of the blonde Russian by drawing it out a bit. Yuuri couldn’t keep a straight face and playfully swatted Victor’s arm as he pushed away.  
     “Victoooorrr.” Yuuri whined.  
     “You really need to find somebody Yura. Your sexual frustration makes you so cranky,” Victor teased.  
     “Shut up, Old man!” Yura barked in reply.

     Yuuri, Mila, and Adriane warmed up on the ice, running different parts of their choreography.  
     “Adriane loosen up, you look like a robot, you are supposed to be a prince! Good Yuuri. Run that step sequence again. More...playful. Mila, get that back leg higher on that camel spin.” Victor took notes and continued to call out corrections to his charges.

     Mila and Adriane’s programs both used music from the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice. Victor painstakingly pieced together the music to tell the story. Mila played the part of Lizzy and showed a great awakening to feelings of love. Adriane’s piece told a story of power giving way to gentleness.

     As unsure as Victor was about accepting the position of choreographer for Mila and Adriane, he had really enjoyed the project. The sounds of the music filled the couple’s apartment while Victor worked. Yuuri had snuck up behind his husband more than once, drawn in by the music, hugging him from behind and turning his love’s head for a kiss.  
     “I love how you are such a romantic,” Yuuri teased. Victor smiled. It was wonderful to have a little escape into a story told with music. Victor loved how music could make you feel so full, so sad, so happy. To him, music was like love…

     “Oh my God, STOP, STOP!” Victor roared to Adriane. “Your Mr. Darcy is more like Mr. putting me to sleep.” Victor skated onto the ice. “With me,” Victor said and started to move. The skating legend moved gracefully along the ice, every movement fluid. “Mr. Darcy is important and powerful. Make your movements bigger and more precise. Better.” Victor skated away a bit and turned to watch. Adriane just didn’t show the proper emotion of the character.

     Victor and Yuuri went and picked up Alina and headed to an outdoor cafe that wasn’t far away. Alina was happy to be outdoors and was acting every bit the puppy today. Yuuri picked little pieces off of his chicken and fed them to Alina under the table. Yuuri had a lovely chicken salad with grapes and hazelnuts. It was served on mixed greens and sliced tomatoes. There were sliced pickled beets on the side and hard boiled eggs that Yuuri had asked for extra.  
     “How do I help Adriane understand Mr. Darcy?” Victor sighed, he dropped his chin into his right hand and blew his bangs out of his eyes. Yuuri laughed a little.  
     “Maybe we should have a movie night and invite them over to watch the movie,” Yuuri suggested. Victor lifted his head.  
     “That’s not a bad idea,” replied Victor. “Maybe it would help to get to know them a little better anyway.”

     Jump practice wasn’t bad today. Adriane had landed both his quads pretty consistently. Victor knew that these sponsors expected him to land a quad flip or maybe pick up a lutz. They wanted him, really, to be the next Yuuri. But, Yura was closer to that then this young man. One battle at a time though. If Adriane couldn’t get a decent PCS, another quad wouldn’t help him win.

 

     At the end of practice, Victor called over his skaters. “Okay, so Mila and Adriane, tomorrow you work with Yakov in the morning, unless you want to do strength and core with Yuuri,” Victor nodded to Mila, who nodded back.  
     “How about we have dinner and a movie on Friday?” Victor asked.  
     “Sure,” Mila replied.  
     “What movie?” Adriane asked.  
     “Pride and Prejudice. I want you to see Mr. Darcy in action.” Mila clapped a little. Adriane looked at the ground.  
     “Okay.”  
     “Good. I’ll see you at 6:00.” Then Victor called across the rink, where Yura was standing next to Yakov, “Yura, dinner at 6:00 on Friday, okay?” Yura gave Victor a thumbs up.

     Yuuri and Victor walked home arm in arm. Victor held Alina’s lead.  
     “Victor, you are a little like Mr. Darcy.” Victor laughed a little and looked over at his husband with a playful look.  
     “How is that love?”  
     “Well,” Yuuri looked thoughtful but smiled as he said, “You’re beautiful, rich, powerful…” Victor scoffed. “In figure skating...you’re powerful.” Both of them were chuckling. Yuuri and Victor stopped at the corner, waiting for the light to change. “And you fell for somebody at a dance…and you were someone that was misunderstood by others.” Yuuri’s voice got quieter and Victor’s face was very close to his.           “The way you cared for me...you are selfless like Mr. Darcy was...and” Victor cut Yuuri off with a kiss, his hand coming up to Yuuri’s back. He rubbed his back and when the kiss ended, he rested his forehead against Yuuri’s.  
     “You remind me of Mr. Darcy too, you know.” Victor had a devilish grin.  
     “Really?” Yuuri replied, smiling.  
     “Yes, you really have a cute butt.” They both laughed. Victor had pulled Yuuri close, his arm encircling his waist. So, with arms around each other, they continued home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, for not getting a chapter out this past weekend. I've been working a lot of overtime. Please comment, share, leave kudos, all that fun stuff. I love to hear what you think.


	15. A Road Less Traveled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor struggles to connect with one of the skaters that Yakov has put in his care.

     Jump practice today had been a huge turning point in Yuuri’s quest to defend his world championship. Japan’s Ace reintroduced his quad Salchow and it was absolute perfection. Then, at the end of practice, Yuuri threw a quad flip. He made it look easy. Yakov spouted a “Hey!” and threw his fist up into the air from across the rink. Victor ran out on the ice and picked Yuuri up, both arms wrapped around his husbands thighs. He spun him around, laughing.

     “Yuuri that was amazing!” The coaching legend was giddy. Yura skated over and punched his rinkmate in the arm. Yuuri looked over at the younger skater. Yura gave him a wink as he skated off to work on his own program. Victor and Yuuri casually skated over to the boards where Adriane and Mila were talking.

     “How do you feel,” Victor was asking Yuuri as they approached the boards.

     Yuuri chuckled, “Like I’m going to be sore as hell later, but good...I feel like I got something done today, you know?”

     Victor nodded, “Breaking in new leather is rough.” Victor had purchased Yuuri a set of custom skates. They had black, carbon fiber blades and were made of black leather. Casts were made of Yuuri’s feet so the fit was absolutely spot on. They were light as a feather and the raven haired skater could fly in them.

     “You did get something done. Great work Yuuri.” He clapped Yuuri on his shoulder. Then, he looked up to include the other two and said, “All of you, great work today. Mila, I feel like your triple axel may be competition ready this fall.”

     “Thanks Victor,” Mila said with a grin. I feel that everyone is making great progress.

     “Except me,” Adriane said.

     “What do you mean?” Victor replied.

     “You were supposed to help me get another quad with a higher base value, but you still have me only working the two quads that I already know.” Adriane snapped the lid on his water bottle with a touch of frustration.

     “Neither of your quads are consistent. Yakov told me that you had two quads, but your Salchow is not ready for performance and your stamina is lacking. You rarely throw a quad triple combination successfully. You need to build stamina and perfect your basics.” Victor spoke evenly, but firmly. “That is the way to be a champion. There is no shortcut.”

     Mila elbowed Adriane in the side, “Come workout with us in the morning.”

     “I thought it wasn’t required,” Adriane returned. Victor tipped his head to one side and looked at Adriane, thoughtfully.

     “Adriane, what is your goal for this year?” Victor asked.

     “To be on the podium at an international competition.” Adriane shrugged.

     “So...you have the opportunity to workout with the reigning world champion, but, you don’t...because it’s not...required.” Victor hummed and walked off of the ice. Yuuri followed Victor off the ice and called out,

     “See ya tonight.” 

________________________

 

     Yura showed up earlier than the other two, carrying a bag of piroshki.

     “I cheated a little when I made these. I used puff pastry from the store, but the filling is grandpa’s recipe. What are you making? The place smells good.”

     “I’m actually making kind of paleo style katsudon.” Yuuri replied. “I thought you might like it.” He had seasoned a pork tenderloin with a mixture of garlic, ginger, chives, mirin, and soy sauce and put it to roast in the oven. He had sauteed a bunch of bok choy and made several rolled eggs with the same seasonings. He also made rice to go with it.

     “It’s all ready. Fix yourself a bowl. It is like a buffet.” Yuuri was fixing himself a bowl. Victor quietly grabbed a piroshki and balanced it on top of his bowl of healthy style katsudon as he made for the couch.

     “You’re looking good in practice Yura. How are you feeling about your programs this season.” Victor asked, taking a bite of his piroshki.

     “Okay. my college classes are hard though. Every fucking professor thinks their class is the most important one. I shouldn’t have taken three courses this summer. I should have taken two. But, don’t tell Yakov. He told me three was too many.” Yuuri and Victor chuckled.     

     “Yeah, I know. It sucks when the old bastard is right.” Yura smiled and Victor reached over and ruffled his hair.

     “What classes are you taking?” Yuuri asked.

     “Well, you know I am majoring in sports medicine. Basically, I had to take the classes that I can’t take online during the season. Calculus, Biomechanics, and Anatomy. That is why they are so damn hard. Two of the classes have labs, so it is like taking 5 classes and Calculus is kicking my ass. If it wasn’t for Beka, I’d probably be failing. He’s like some kind of fucking math genius.”

     “We’ve missed you hanging around Yura.” Victor said affectionately. Yuri hung is head a little, picking at his food.

     “I wish I could have been here more for you guys.” Yuri took a deep breath. Victor and Yuuri could tell he was trying to contain his emotions.

     “Yurachka,” Yuuri put his hand on the side of the younger man’s head and pulled him a little closer, kissing the top of his head. “I’m okay. We’re okay.”

     “Okay.” Yuri sighed, picked up chopsticks, and grabbed a hunk of pork. “This is pretty good Yuuri.” Victor hummed in agreement, his mouth full of pork and eggs. The three ate in silence for a bit until the buzzer for the door sounded.

     Mila and Adriane came in laden with food. Most of the rink was dubious about Yuuri’s diet, figuring that he was eating nuts and twigs. Adriane had a pizza, but Mila had a bowl of chopped fruit. The group exchanged greetings and soon everyone had a plate or bowl of something in front of them as Yuuri started the movie.

     Victor snagged a piece of pizza and folding his leg under him, squeezed in back of Yuuri on the couch. Yuuri turned and threw him a smirk.

     “There are vegetables on the pizza, right?” Victor offered as his excuse.

     “Hamburger and pepperoni,” Adriane provided. Victor looked over at him.

     “There are tomatoes….smashed tomatoes...under the cheese.” Victor sputtered. Everyone laughed and then settled down to watch.

     As the rinkmates watched the movie, Victor moved onto the floor beneath Yuuri and pulled one of his feet into is lap. Yuuri’s feet had a few bruises and spots that were red from the new skates and the hard work. The skating legend expertly massaged one foot and then the other. Every once in a while, Yuuri would wince in pain, but he also looked more relaxed. Adriane observed the couple and Yuuri’s battered feet. Then he asked,

     “Why are you putting yourself through all this?”

     “Tsk,” Yura sounded with disgust. Mila gasped softly in surprise. Victor’s eyes narrowed, but he stopped the movie and kept his peace...watching.

     “What do you mean Adriane?” Yuuri asked in reply.

     “What, are you going to be like, 28 by the time of World Championships? Why are you putting yourself through all this, just to probably retire at the end of the year? Is it worth it?

     “You asshole!...” Yura growled, clenching his fists.

     “Yura!” Yuuri cut him off.

     “Adriane, look. I know you aren’t the only person who probably thinks I should just retire.” Yuuri sighed. “I’m old for a figure skater. I still have these terrible headaches. I don’t even have all my memories back. But, I’m not going to….sit on the couch and wait for my memories to return. I’m not going to let some accident force me into retirement. I’m not even going to let the opinions of others sway me. I’m going to defend my World Championship and I know what it takes to get there. It takes battered feet, crazy workouts, a fair amount of ibuprofen and for me, saying no to pizza. What I want to know is why you limit yourself with your goals?”

     “What?” Adriane looked confused. “You told Victor that you wanted to make the podium. Why don’t you want to win? You need harder goals Adriane. Then, you’ll get your quads.”

     Victor restarted the movie and rubbed Yuuri’s calf that was still in front of him, smiling and bursting with pride. Yuri had an extremely smug look on his face and he was on his phone, texting madly.

 

________________________________

 

     The next morning, Victor, Alina, and Yuuri were out in front of their building, waiting for Mila. Victor looked at his watch. They were up late with the movie last night and the skating legend wondered if Mila was going to skip this morning. Looking up, Victor smiled. Coming around the corner were Mila and Adriane. Victor casually elbowed Yuuri who looked up from watching Alina sniff around the sidewalk. The raven haired skater’s face split into a grin.

     “Wait till Lilia sees that your cult has a new member.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost is one of my very favorite poems and is the basis for the title of the chapter and its theme. I provided a link in case you want to read it. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken  
> I've found a very talented artist to do some illustrations for this series. Look for those in the future.


	16. Chaotic Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Detailed description of Yuuri's accident in a dream scenario.

_“In all chaotic beauty lies a wounded work of art._

_Beautiful but torn, wreaking havoc on my heart…”_

_Taken from Camouflaged, by Kim McCrea_

 

**August 20, 2019**

 

    The last month had been amazing. Every day, Victor led his little parade through the streets of St. Petersburg, running, doing lunges, doing burpees, and running up and down the stairs to the ice complex.  Then, they would head to the work out room and continue with their crazy resistance band workout. Victor was having to buy harder and harder resistance bands for his hungry skaters. Interestingly, Victor started noticing the ice dancers giving him dirty looks around the rink.  Finally, Yuuri overheard one of the ice dancers complaining to her friend about “Lilia’s new crazy workouts”. Victor’s heart shaped grin, at hearing this news, was absolutely priceless.

 

    Yuuri, Mila, and Adriane looked like gods, especially Mila. She was absolutely transformed.  She was strong and her triple axel looked effortless now. But Mila was noticing how, even though she was always in good shape, her body looked better in her clothes, even though her size didn’t change.

    “Victor, you wouldn’t believe how amazing I look in sleeveless dresses,” Mila told him one morning.  She sheepishly admitted going through her entire closet and trying on all her clothes after she had noticed the difference with her sundress.

 

    Adriane almost seemed to have some kind of conversion experience.  While Victor was glad that Adriane seemed to lose some of his arrogance, he seemed to take Yuuri on as a rival instead of as a mentor, which is what the silver haired legend had hoped for.  The relationship did seem to at least cut down on the patronizing comments directed at Yuuri. Victor had been really tired of them. Adriane had definitely improved his stamina and his percentages of landing his quads had improved. His toe loop was perfect and his Salchow was around 70%, both competition ready, as far as Victor was concerned. The legendary coach had surprised the young man last week, by allowing him to start working on a quad flip. Adriane had a stupid grin on his face the rest of the day.

 

    All this growth and success had pushed the accident to the back of Victor and Yuuri’s mind, until the storm front came in.  Yuuri hadn’t had one of his blinding headaches in a few weeks. The weather in St. Petersburg had been ridiculously warm for the region, reaching 29.4℃ three days in a row.  The little heatwave was broken by a cold front that announced its arrival with two rounds of heavy thunderstorms. Victor noticed that something was wrong with Yuuri, as the raven haired man stopped on the side of the rink and rested his head on his forearms.  Victor walked over to his love and touched his shoulder. Yuuri flinched.

 

    “Yuuri, are you okay?” Victor asked, concerned.

    “I need to go home,” Yuuri mumbled. “My head...it’s bad…”  Victor looked outside and even though it was 3:00 in the afternoon, it looked like evening.  

 

    Victor motioned everyone in, “Okay, let’s call it a day and see if we can beat the storms home. Be safe.”  Victor gave Yakov a wave, who had also called his skaters in, and gathered up their things, while Yuuri made a quick change.  With Alina, they headed for the bus stop, not trusting that they would beat the storm if they took their usual leisurely stroll home.  The sky was creepy. The air was still and warm and the grey clouds had almost a greenish cast. Looking off to the west, Victor could see a rainshower coming from over the sea. It looked like a black cloud that was reaching all the way to the ground. Lightning flashed, branching to the clouds around it.  They stepped off the bus just a few minutes later. In that short amount of time a cool wind had replaced the still, warm air. By the time Victor had the key in the door, cold, fat raindrops were starting to come down. Once the trio was in the door, Alina gave a good shake.

    “We made it!” Victor announced.  The older man looked at his husband’s face. He was white as a sheet. “Let’s get you upstairs.”  Yuuri stumbled quickly to the bathroom and started to throw up. Victor unclipped Alina and followed after.  He grabbed a washcloth and ran cold water over it. Folding it, he lay it on the back of Yuuri’s neck. After a few seconds, Yuuri pulled it off.

    “I don’t want it,” he said, panting. Next Yuuri pulled off his shirt.  Victor was taken aback by Yuuri’s frantic movements. _‘Shit!’_ He thought. _‘Why now? These last three weeks have been amazing.’_

 

    Yuuri emptied the contents of his stomach and finally fell back into a sitting position, resting his bare back and head, eyes closed, against the cool tile on the wall.  Victor sat opposite him, his hand on his knee, just watching. The door suddenly hit Victor in the back of the head. Alina had pushed the door open with her nose. Rubbing his head, Victor turned around and carefully closed the door.  As the younger man rested, outside, the thunderstorm flashed and blew. The lights in the apartment flickered. The couple could hear the beeping of the modem, as it reset. Yuuri opened his eyes, glancing at the light fixture.

    “Victor, you should probably take out our candles and matches, so we aren’t searching for them in the dark. I’m going to move to the bed.”

    Victor gave Yuuri a hand and pulled him up off the the floor and into a hug.

    “Is this okay?” Victor spoke softly into Yuuri’s ear.

    “Yes…” Yuuri breathed. He slid both hands up Victor’s back and just leaned, melting into him, concentrating on releasing the tension in his shoulders and back. Yuuri’s head throbbed, like some wild animal was trying to break out of his skull.  A wave of dizziness overtook Yuuri and he wobbled and started to drop.

    “Yuuri!” Victor caught him. “I’ve got you love,” he said in his ear. Victor opened the door, picked Yuuri up, princess style, and turning sideways, carried him from the bathroom to the bedroom. The older man gently deposited his lover onto the bed and pulled up the light blanket to Yuuri’s chest.  Immediately, Yuuri turned on his side. He grabbed Victor’s pillow and hugged it to his chest, pulling his knees up into a fetal position. Alina jumped up on the bed and settled down on Victor’s side of the bed, standing vigil. Victor turned the light out and left the room. He knew he would have to let Yuuri’s stomach settle before even trying to give him any medicine.

 

    The lights flickered again. Victor was pretty concerned that the power might go out.  He heated up some leftover goulash from Mrs. Chang and put it over some rice that was in the rice cooker. Victor had forgotten to turn it off, which was a lucky mistake.  After eating a light supper, Victor pulled out candles and matches and a radio with batteries, just in case. Then, he got some ibuprofen, a bowl of Miso soup, and a glass of water for Yuuri.       

 

   _‘Hopefully, his stomach is settled enough to take some of the soup,’_ Victor thought.

 

    “Yuuri, love,” Victor said softly. He curled up to his husband’s back, over top the covers and supported himself with his right elbow on the pillow. Yuuri’s eyes were tight shut. His face was contorted with pain. Victor moved to smooth the bangs out of Yuuri’s eyes. He flinched at the touch.  Victor moved his hand to Yuuri’s shoulder and started to rub his back. The muscles were bunched and tight, like solid rock.

    “Shinaide kudasai…” Yuuri whispered. “Sore wa itai.” _(Don’t, it hurts!)_

Victor stopped.

    “I brought you some ibuprofen, but you’ll need a little something on your stomach.”  Yuuri just shook his head. Victor sat up, next to Yuuri, feeling helpless.

 

Victor dozed.

 

     _Bright lights. Yuuri was looking directly at Victor.  He had just straightened up from picking up his glove. Yuuri’s face seemed confused as he stared at him, as if he couldn’t hear him.  He couldn’t sense the danger. Move Yuuri! Please! Time seemed to slow down. The black sedan caught Yuuri on his left side. Yuuri crumpled at the impact.  His head hit the hood of the car first and bounced up again. He was thrown into the air, like a rag doll. He rolled until the back of his head hit the windshield with a sickening thud.  His eyes were staring ahead and his mouth was open in a silent scream. The windshield glass smashed, lines were reaching out, branching out, in all directions from around Yuuri’s head._

 

    Victor started awake. Yuuri was whimpering.  The storm outside was raging.

    “Please...make it stop,” Yuuri whispered.

 

    BOOM. The power clicked off.  The wind was howling now. The windows rattled slightly with each gust. The thunder sounded immediately after each flash of lightning. They were in the worst of the storm right now.  Victor padded over to the window. The trees were dancing about wildly in the wind. It was still only about 5:00, but the apartment was dark. Victor went to the kitchen and lit two candles and left them on the kitchen table.  Picking up two more candles, he went back to the bedroom. He put a candle in the bathroom and one on their bedside table.

 

    Victor climbed onto the bed again.

    “Yuuri, please take a little soup so I can give you medicine,” Victor quietly pleaded.  The raven man turned his head toward him. Tears were in his eyes. He nodded and sat up a little bit. Victor procured the soup bowl from the bedside table and tipped it toward Yuuri’s lips. He sipped some of the soup and then sat up a little bit more.  Soon, Yuuri had finished the soup. Victor gave him the three ibuprofen and the glass of water. Victor slipped off the bed, hoping Yuuri would sleep for a bit. He lit a few more candles and went to his desk to fill out his coach’s log. He opened his laptop and made notes about the day and the progress of his charges.  Starting next week, Mila and Adriane would only work with Yakov. Their choreography was nearly complete and they will only be with Victor three times a week for jump practice.

 

    By 10:30, the ibuprofen was gone, Yuuri was once again curled into a ball in the middle of the bed.  At this point, Yuuri wasn’t going to be able to practice the next day. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t barely eat anything.  Victor took the bottle of Hydrocodone out of the medicine cabinet and opened it. There were still four remaining. Victor didn’t like the idea of Yuuri working out with this type of medicine in his system.  He sighed as he tipped the bottle over, retrieving one of the pills, and returned to the bedroom.

   “Yuuri, take this,” Victor said softly. Yuuri took the pill and Victor tipped the glass of water toward his lips.  Within about 20 minutes, the tension in Yuuri’s expression had started to ease. Victor retrieved the massage oil from the bedside table and encouraged Yuuri to lay on his stomach. Victor worked on the mass of knots that had formed in Yuuri’s shoulders and back.  Even his legs held enormous tension.

     The lights came back on about thirty minutes later. The lightning and thunder gave way to a peaceful, steady rain. Victor opened the windows to let the breeze wash away the stuffiness of the last few days. Around 11:30, Yuuri padded to the kitchen, ravenous. He finished the rice in the rice cooker, piled high in a bowl, with leftover rolled eggs, goulash, and roasted vegetables. Victor sat across from Yuuri, sipping a glass of water, freshly showered and ready for bed.  He was happy to see Yuuri eating something. Maybe tomorrow’s workout day would be saved after all.

 

    Yuuri was already awake when Victor awoke the next morning. He could hear his love piddling around in the kitchen, probably preparing today’s meals.  Victor padded into the bathroom to get ready. As he reached into medicine cabinet to get his shaving cream and razor, he saw that the Hydrocodone bottle was not where he had left it the night before.  He finished his ablutions, got dressed, and found Yuuri in the kitchen.

    “Yuuri, did you take another Hydrocodone this morning?” Victor asked.

    “Yes, I felt the headache returning, so I was trying to head it off,” Yuuri shrugged.

    “So, no jumps today,” Victor returned, pouring his coffee into a steel walled travel cup.

    “What do you mean?” Yuuri asked, the knife he was using to cut fruit had paused and he turned to Victor.

    “Dr. Nakamura told me you shouldn’t even skate on that kind of pain medicine. There are all kinds of warnings for dizziness, not driving, don’t use heavy machinery, and on and on.”

    “I haven’t ever had those kind of side effects from it,” Yuuri said, obviously annoyed.  Yuuri started cutting a mango.

    “Every time you’ve taken it, you’ve been in bed or otherwise in a restful position,” Victor replied.  Victor put the creamer back in the fridge and closed the door. He stopped, leaned against the fridge, and looked directly at Yuuri. “Love, for me,” Victor said softly. “For your coach and your husband, no jumps today. Okay?” Victor walked in back of Yuuri and slipped his hands around his waist from behind. Yuuri stopped cutting his mango.

    “Okay?” Victor repeated, kissing him softly on the back of the neck several times. Yuuri sighed, a shiver was running down his spine from the kisses.

    “Okay,” Yuuri replied softly, resigned. He turned and kissed Victor gently on the lips. “But, I’m not happy about it,” he grumbled and began chopping a kiwi.

 

    Yuuri was unusually quiet during their morning workout. Victor came up behind him at the barre and whispered in his ear, “Pain or still upset about not jumping?”

    “You’re hovering Victor,” Yuuri said softly.  Yuuri grabbed the silver resistance band, stuck his foot through the loop at the end, and leaned forward into a leg extension, pulling his leg straight up into the air in back of him.  Standing up straight, he pulled down on the band to further his extension. Victor smiled and walked over to torture Adriane.

    “Higher, higher! You are only using the blue band? Get the silver one,” Adriane made a tsk noise with his mouth and switched bands.

 

    Lilia walked into the room. She put down her things and sat in the director’s chair by the laptop stand.  She teased Victor’s suffering charges, “If you can walk properly after this workout, you are not working hard enough.”  Victor laughed and signaled for them that it was time to clean up.

 

    “Lilia, I hear you are torturing your ice dancers with my new workout,” Victor teased.

    “It is my workout Victor,” Lilia countered, “But, I confess to adopting some of your methods.” She shrugged.  Victor put his hands together and gave a little bow to Lilia. Lilia smiled and nodded. That was probably the best compliment Lilia had ever given Victor and he wanted to acknowledge it.

    “See you tomorrow,” She waved them out.

 

    Victor was out on the ice today, doing final corrections for Mila and Adriane’s choreography, along with a few of Yakov’s skaters. The group took turns running their numbers over and over again.  Yakov and Victor took turns yelling out corrections to their skaters. Yuuri plugged in his bluetooth earbuds and ran his numbers on the other side of the rink so he wouldn’t be distracted. Victor didn’t know the name of the song that he had chosen for his freeskate.  He chose _I Will Remember You_ , by Sarah McLachlan.  He wanted to dedicate it to Victor for always standing by him, for all the back rubs, for just enduring, for always meeting him halfway…no...so much more than halfway...Yuuri knew, it was all the way, for whatever he needed. Tears threatened as the raven haired man thought about the last few months.  Yuuri queued up the song again and started it. Yuuri didn’t know why he did it. He was distracted thinking about all the events and emotions that went into choosing this song and he just lined up and threw the quad toe loop, triple toe loop combo. In the air, Yuuri knew that he wasn’t going to land the triple. He went down hard but managed to roll. He sat on the ice a minute, seeing stars from the pain in his thigh where he fell.

    “Yuuri!” Victor was at his side in a flash.  “Can you get up? Are you injured?” Victor looked at him up and down and helped him to his feet.

    “Only my pride,” Yuuri said, trying to play it cool.

    “You promised me your wouldn’t jump,” Victor was obviously trying to control his anger. “Why did you do this?”

    “I’m okay. I didn’t mean to jump,” Yuuri returned, getting annoyed. Yuuri started to turn away and muttered, “Don’t hover.”  Victor placed a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder and turned him around to face him.

    “DON’T HOVER? Are you fucking kidding me?” Victor yelled. “Do you know what I see when I close my eyes? I see you rolling up the hood of a damn car, your head smashing into a windshield.”  Yura’s hand was on the back of Victor’s shoulder.

    “Victor...you’re making a scene.” Yura spoke softly in Victor’s ear.

    Yuuri stood shell shocked.

    “I’m done,” Victor said to Yura and he turned and skated off the ice.

    Tears flowed freely from Yuuri’s eyes now.

    “I...didn’t mean to. I just was so into the music…” Yura placed a hand on the back of Yuuri’s neck and pulled him into a hug. After a few moments he said, “It’s okay. Go talk to him.”  Yuuri pulled out of the hug and skated to the boards, replacing his guards. Yurri didn’t take off his skates. He went straight to Yakov’s office. Victor was sitting in the chair opposite Yakov’s desk.  Alina was between Victor’s legs, offering comfort. Victor’s forehead was buried in the top of Alina’s curls.

 

    Yuuri dropped to his knees in front of Victor and hugged Alina and Victor together.

    “I’m sorry Victor. I’m sorry for everything.” Yuuri wept.  Please believe me. I was just...so into the music and all the feelings that went into this program that I just jumped.”

    “I know, my love. I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Victor spoke softly, tears dripped unbidden from his eyes. “I believe you. You just have to understand how hard this has been for me. I’m constantly second guessing myself...I want to be a good husband. I want to be a good coach. I don’t...have anyone to talk to about it.”     

    “I’m sorry. I don’t understand what you’re going through Victor. You have to tell me,” Yuuri smoothed Victor’s hair as he spoke, pushing his bangs out of his eyes. The older man gave an ironic laugh.

    “Then you have to stop apologizing for being hit by a car and for being injured! It makes me feel like I can’t share my feelings with you!” Yuuri laughed.

    “I’m sorry…” Yuuri laughed again. “Okay, I see your point.

    Yura knocked on the door jam of Yakov’s office.

    “Can I come in or are you being gross in here?” Yura entered anyway. “Here, I brought the stuff you left out in the rink.” Yura deposited a netbook, some notes, and a binder on the side of Yakov’s desk.

    “Yakov said it is fine if you just want to go home for the day. He knows you had a rough night.”  Victor nodded.

    “Oh, and by the way, I've been meaning to tell you that the Wonder Twins look pretty good,” Yura added.

    “The Wonder Twins?” Victor asked, a little confused.

    “That is what everyone is calling Mila and Adriane now, because of how much they’ve improved. But, the reference is some DC Comics cartoon on Cartoon Network.”

 

    Victor and Yuuri walked Alina home. They had a really long talk that stretched late into the afternoon and included some late afternoon snuggling in bed that Alina wasn’t invited to.

 

    In the early evening, Yuuri walked out of the bedroom and searched for his phone in his skate bag.  Phichit had sent him about ten messages.

 

**Phikun:  Yuuri what’s going on with you and Victor?**

 

**Phikun:  Are you okay? That fall looked nasty.**

 

Yuuri didn’t bother looking at the rest of the messages.

  
    _‘Shit, shit, shit. How did he see my fall?’_ Yuuri opened up Victor’s instagram. Somebody posted a video. In the foreground was a rinkmate named Sergei going over his short program. In the back, was Yuuri falling and then the video focused on Yuuri and Victor’s argument.  The video was picked up by a tabloid that liked to follow Japanese skating. Sergei was mostly edited out and Victor and Yuuri were both tagged in it. The headline was “Trouble in Paradise?”


	17. The Long Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Yuuri's point of view chapter. He is trying to understand what Victor has been going through. This is a pretty fluffy chapter, but Yuuri needs it. Also, the next chapter will be the fallout over the video, so the boys needed the snuggles.

    Yuuri walked in silence alongside Victor, as the older man held Alina’s lead.  Yuuri just noticed how Victor had become protective of them both, by walking on the outside of the sidewalk.  Yuuri sighed, trying to hold back the tears that threatened behind his eyes. _‘I was just so into the music…Should I tell him about the song? But, I wanted it to be a surprise.’_ Yuuri stopped walking. Victor stopped about two steps ahead of him and looked back. Yuuri’s eyes were wide and glistened with unshed tears.

    

    “Victor, I’m…” Yuuri stopped himself mid-apology.

 

    “Vitya,” Yuuri started again, softly, “Please, will you tell me about the accident.”  Victor looked at Yuuri as if trying to make a decision about something.

 

    “Yuuri, I like it when you call me Vitya.” Victor handed Alina’s leash to Yuuri and slipped his arm around Yuuri’s waist. Yuuri could feel Victor’s warmth and even his breath as he leaned over to speak close to his ear.

    “At first, it made me sad, because you always called me Victor and never really used pet names. I realized right away that you heard Yakov call me Vitya.”  Yuuri was nodding.

 

    “The name Vitya was familiar to me but, I knew somehow it wasn’t right. It was like when you forget a word and can’t recall it no matter how hard you try,” Yuuri was contemplative.

 

    “Would you call me Vitya sometimes, still?” Victor asked, while squeezing the younger man’s side closer to him. Yuuri smiled at his love.  Victor continued, “I like pet names. Even the press calls me Victor,” he teased.

 

    “That makes me think of the end of Pride and Prejudice when they decide what pet names to call each other. When should I call you Vitya?”  The raven haired man looked up into vivid blue eyes.

 

    Victor put on a bit of a British accent and proclaimed, “When you are perfectly in love and happy, of course.” Yuuri suppressed a laugh at the terrible mix of British and Russian accents. _‘In that case, always…’_ Yuuri thought.

  

    “Okay, Vitya.”  Yuuri almost breathed the reply as he tilted in to briefly kiss Victor’s cheek.  Yuuri was very self conscious that Victor had changed the subject away from the accident. _‘I don’t want to push him.’_ They were stopped at a traffic signal and Yuuri noticed that Victor was looking down at his free hand. He pulled Yuuri close to him again briefly in a side hug.

 

     “I have a nightmare…” Victor paused. “It’s like a stress dream, I guess.” Victor ran his hand through his hair.  “It’s like time stands still and you are looking right at me, you know?” Victor bit his top lip and Yuuri knew that he was biting back tears.  “I yell for you and it’s like you don’t hear me. I try to warn you that there’s a danger.” Victor released Yuuri’s waist to wipe away a tear. Victor gives a kind of ironic laugh. “You know, that isn’t even what happened, really. It happened so fast. I called your name, but you wouldn’t have had any time to react. The sense of helplessness I have...to keep you out of danger...” Victor paused and brought his hand up to ruffle the hair on the right side of Yuuri’s head. “It isn’t even real. I couldn’t have prevented the accident and...I know that.”  Yuuri reached out for Victor’s right hand and laced their fingers together. Alina milled around between the two, sensing the older man’s distress. “That is why I am having trouble now Yuuri. That is why I was so upset. In the end, I can’t keep bad things from happening to you,” Victor sighed.

    “I guess we should cross the street. The light has turned twice for us already,” Yuuri said. Victor nodded and they crossed.

 

    “The worst part of that night was the waiting. Just so you know, there weren’t a lot of skate fans in that ER. They were trying to contact your family in Hatsetsu and left me to sit there for hours!”  Yuuri’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

 

    “Really?  I guess the Japanese media plays up the fact that you are my coach more than my husband.”  Yuuri sighed.

 

    “Well, they made it right in the end, but at the time it was so frustrating.  But, there were good things. One of the nurses saw me really depressed one evening and suggested that I write in the book too. That helped me so much,” Victor acknowledged.

 

    Yuuri hated the hospital. Mostly, he remembered pain and confusion. Every question they asked him felt like an exam he had forgotten to study for.  

    “The only good thing I remember about the hospital was you Vitya. You were literally like my sun,” Yuuri reflected.

 

    “Even that was so confusing to me Yuuri,” Victor quickened his pace and grabbed Yuuri again around the middle.   “I didn’t understand how you didn’t seem to know me and yet clung to me so, and seemed to calm at my touch.”

 

    “You were always there for me, even in my dreams,” Yuuri said, turning slightly to look at Victor. “Also, you were so relaxed with me. Everyone else seemed uncomfortable, which made me feel anxious.  I always knew you were important to me.” After saying this, Yuuri blushed.

 

    “What are you thinking that is making you blush, Yuuuri,” Victor smiled down at his love as he opened the door to their building.

 

    “I’ll tell you upstairs,” Yuuri opened the door and jogged quickly up the steps.

 

    The couple entered the apartment and Yuuri unclipped Alina and hung up her leash. Victor blocked Yuuri’s path by leaning against the wall by the hook.

    “Yuuuuriiii, care to share?” Victor said playfully.

 

    “I’m sure you can guess,” Yuuri was removing his shoes as he talked.  “I had dreams of us making love, okay. I had one that morning of our anniversary when I had to change the sheets,” Yuuri shrugged and headed toward the bedroom.  Yuuri heard Victor hum appreciatively behind him.

    “Mmm, sounds promising,” Victor replied.

 

    Since they left rather suddenly, Yuuri hadn’t changed.  As the raven haired man hit the bedroom, he stripped off his black tech shirt that was his favorite to wear around the rink and pulled on a soft t-shirt.  Victor sat on the bed, admiring the view as Yuuri finished changing the rest of his clothing.

 

    “I sensed that we were family...even lovers, Vitya. Even in Hatsetsu, I think I knew. I just had no context for it. It was like my arms knew you, my body knew you. I needed your warmth, your touch...like air. But, at the same time, it was confusing not to have any memories of you.”

 

    “The worst part of those weeks in the hospital, for me, was that I missed holding you. I missed the comfort that we are to each other," Victor said thoughtfully,  "Climbing into that hospital bed was so awkward and when I did you were in so much pain.  You're my best friend, my love, the person I rely on most, and I couldn't share my loneliness and worry with you. I felt so helpless…”

 

    “I remember you telling me that you didn’t know what to do when people cry in front of you.  I’ve shed so many tears and you always hold me. You always comfort me.” Yuuri padded over to stand in between Victor’s legs.  The silver haired man slid his arms around him, pulling him close, and resting his cheek on his chest. The younger man returned the hug, soothing his husbands hair.  "Let me comfort you now."

 

    “You were the one that taught me how to comfort Yuuri. You taught me about how to love,” Victor ran his hands up and down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri shivered at the touch, at the closeness.

 

    “Vitya,” Yuuri said, barely above a whisper. He kissed the top of Victor’s head.  “Hold me?” They broke apart and Yuuri walked around the bed, rearranging the pillows a bit, and then climbing toward the middle into his lover’s waiting arms. They came together like pieces of a puzzle. The younger man pressed his nose into his husband’s neck and inhaled the scent of his after shave lotion.  It smelled manly and clean and so distinctly Victor. Propped up on pillows, Victor began to lazily stroke Yuuri’s arm. He looked lost in thought, staring ahead.

    “Tell me more Vitya. I need to understand,” Yuuri said as he raised his hand to stoke the older man’s cheek.

    “The realities of the struggle ahead really started to hit me in Hatsetsu,” Victor said softly.  “You still had a lot of pain and you were still pretty out of it. I wasn’t sure what the financial impact would be if you couldn’t skate anymore. Would your sponsors drop you?  How much time would they give you to recover?  Since you were my only skater, I didn’t have something to immediately fill the financial gap, besides your winnings from Worlds.  Also, your mom and your sister didn’t want us to leave. I struggled with that because I respect their opinions. Your memories came back every day in Hatsetsu. I was worried I was selfish because I wanted you to remember us, as a couple, so badly. I felt like being in our home together would help you find those memories.” Yuuri turned Victor’s face to look at him.

 

    “You are the least selfish person I know,” Yuuri said, resting his hand on his husband’s face. Victor sighed. Victor brought his hand over Yuuri’s and held it, laying a kiss on his knuckles, and holding it over his heart.

 

    “You know what the doctor’s instructions were?” Victor looked down at Yuuri. “Only workout till you feel pain.” Yuuri’s eyebrows disappeared into his bangs.

 

    “Wow. I’m guessing he didn’t encounter a lot of elite athletes?” Yuuri said.

 

    “Well, that was why we just started with walks on the beach. But, even now, that order makes me second guess my workouts, jumps, everything. Am I being too cautious and risking your dream to defend your world championship? Of course, I know that there is a difference between workout pain and injury pain. But, am I risking your future health and your safety by pushing you too hard?”

 

    “Vitya…,” Yuuri started to say something, but Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand and quieted him.

 

    “Your future, our future together is more important to me, my love. Maybe that is selfish. But, you are my zolotse. We don’t need any more gold medals. The only thing that makes me feel better is how strong you’ve gotten and how much your health has improved. I will always support your dreams Yuuri, but I won’t choose your dreams over your safety. That is why I was so upset today. There is such a thing as acceptable risk.”  A smile touched Yuuri’s lips at the use of the russian endearment that meant “my gold”. Yuuri tilted his head and kissed Victor’s cheek.

 

    “Thank you, Vitya,” Yuuri said, nuzzling Victor’s neck under his ear. “I probably needed to hear that reminder that there is a future past Worlds. I just know I **need** a goal and I want to keep pushing. I will admit that I’ve been in pain probably a lot more than you know...the headaches, I mean.” Yuuri sighed.

 

    “You should be telling your coach. But, I know anyway,” Victor said, looking down at his beloved. “Your whole posture changes when you are in pain Yuuri. You are irritable, you absentmindedly start rubbing the back of your head. When it is bad, you start speaking Japanese to me, instead of English.” Yuuri laughed at that.

 

    “I do? Wow, I never noticed that. I’m like an open book to you, aren’t I?” Yuuri moved his hand across Victor’s chest and squeezed.

 

    “Yes,” Victor smiled and brought his hand to Yuuri’s face. He pulled Yuuri into a kiss.  

 

    “Wait…” Yuuri got up and looked in the living room. Alina was spread out on the wood floor, happily chewing on a bone, in the sun rays that streamed through the windows. Yuuri quietly closed the door, stripped off his shirt, and returned to his lover’s side.  “I was feeling a little overdressed for the occasion,” Yuuri lay nearly on top of Victor, who had already removed his shirt. He snuggled into his husband’s arm and dropped kisses everywhere he could reach. Victor reached over and tilted the younger man’s face to his, pulling him closer with his other arm for a lover’s kiss. Yuuri opened his mouth to allow his Vitya to fill him with his tongue. Yuuri’s hand threaded into Victor’s hair.  Yuuri could feel arousal course through him like a current of electricity. He felt it in chest, he felt it in his toes. It was a good kiss...


	18. After The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple deal with the aftermath of the video.

     Victor sat on the couch watching the viral video again on his laptop.  

     Yuuri on the ice after a fall doing a triple.

_'Of course the fact that it was a fucking quad/triple combo is edited out of the video.  At least Morooka picked up on how unfair that edit was in his blog.’_

     Yuuri sitting on the ice.

     Victor yelling at Yuuri.

     An announcer recounting details of the accident.

     Victor walking off, “I’m done!”  

     Yuuri hanging his head.

 _‘God, I really do look like a total ass,’_ Victor thought with a sigh.  Yuuri leaned over Victor’s shoulder, pressing a kiss in his hair.

    “It just goes to show you that you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the internet. Since you can’t hear Yura speaking, it looks like you were quitting,” Yuuri said thoughtfully.  Victor turned and looked at his husband.

 

    “The problem is that we can’t announce that you may have fallen because you had an opioid in your system,” Victor sighed. 

     "Wouldn’t that open up a can of worms, even if they were prescribed. Fuck." Yuuri blushed over hearing Victor resort to a curse. He walked around to sit next to Victor on the couch with a plop.

    “What are we going to do?  Maybe I should enter one of the early regional competitions,” Yuuri contemplated.  Victor was shaking his head before the younger man could even finish his thought.

    “Absolutely not. We need to give your brain as much time to heal as we possibly can, before you have to compete.  To me, October is already pushing it,” Victor insisted.  “Just think Yuuri, what it would be like to compete with a headache and how that could trigger your anxiety.  Your headaches are getting better and less frequent. You just need time.”

    “What do we do then?” Yuuri breathed, a slight tremble in his voice. His amber eyes were pleading, defeated.  It was like Victor could see the anxiety starting to build. He chose his next words carefully.

    “I know we do need to do something. One of your sponsors already called Yakov.  Yakov talked him down and did his best to smooth it over,” Victor revealed.

 

    “You know, what about Morooka? What if we offer him an exclusive interview with footage of your workout.” Victor sat up a bit more, obviously inspired. Yuuri’s face brightened as he watched Victor turning over the idea in his mind.  “YES! That is the answer. Yuuri, we will show them how strong you really are.” Yuuri smiled at Victor’s transformation.

 

    Morooka agreed.  Two weeks later, they booked the rink for the afternoon to tape some of Yuuri’s practice.  Most of the younger skaters were at a regional competition, so it wasn’t an issue. Morooka knew good television and had followed the couple around since 5:00 AM, quietly taking video and asking Victor or Yuuri the odd question about their routine.  He watched Yuuri chop strawberries. Alina kept getting under Morooka’s legs, much to Victor’s amusement.

 

    “She likes you Hisashi-san,” Victor said with a chuckle, taking pity on the man and pulling the pup from between his legs.

 

    “Have you eaten Morooka-san?” Yuuri asked.

 

    “You won’t get a more legit Japanese breakfast anywhere else in St. Petersburg,” Victor said, setting him out a plate.

 

    “Thank you,” Morooka bowed slightly.  Yuuri served him rolled eggs and rice, miso soup, and a piece of salmon that was left over from the night before.  “This is so much better than the meal I had at the hotel last night. Thank you again.”

 

    Morooka knows good television.  He was quite amused at Victor’s parade of students working out on the way to the rink. He walked across the street and took video to get a long shot perspective.  Yuuri was out in front the entire time, Alina by his side.

 

    Six weeks later, the show aired.  It started with an alarm clock and showed Yuuri pulling on a form fitting black workout shirt, his granite abs were obvious.

    “He’s in the best shape of his life in many ways,” Victor’s voice is heard as the long shot scene is shown of Yuuri leading the pack of students through the streets of St. Petersburg.  The music in the background swells and Yuuri is seen stretching at the barre.

 

    “Just over 6 months ago, a terrible accident,” Morooka’s voice is heard. A picture of the car’s windshield is shown and then a file photo of the hospital where Yuuri was taken.  In their living room, Victor turned pale and covered his mouth with his hand at the sight of it.  Suddenly seeing that picture was like a blow to Victor. ‘The _blood. The blood on the windshield is my Yuuri’s blood. How can they put that on tv?’_  Victor stood up like he was going to walk out of the room. Yuuri grabbed his hand.

 

    “Vitya. It’s okay,” Yuuri stood next to his lover and took his face in both hands. “Look at me. I’m here.”  Victor hugged the younger man. Yuuri guided him back onto the couch. “The bad part is over,” Yuuri said softly.

 

    “He should have warned us,” Victor grumbled.

    “Blood makes good drama,” Yuuri shrugged. Victor was appalled and pushed Yuuri over on the couch.  Yuuri laughed.

 

    “Like a phoenix, will Katsuki Yuuri rise from the ashes to defend his World Championship Title?”  Morooka voiced as Yuuri performs a perfect quad flip. “His championship journey begins next week in Las Vegas at Skate America!”

 

    Yuuri was lifting his shirt to look at his abs.  “Do I really look like that? I look pretty good,”  Yuuri reached down and poked his stomach. He was being silly, trying to make Victor laugh.  His silver haired lover took the bait.

    Launching a surprise attack, Victor grabbed the younger man around the middle and tackled him back into the pillows on the couch, tickling Yuuri.  Alina joined the fray, licking Yuuri’s face.  Yuuri pushed Alina's face away and she slid to the floor, laying down with a sneeze.  Yuuri laid back and draped his arm over his face.

    “Not at all, my love,” Victor gushed, trying to catch his breath from laughing.  His hands were still around Yuuri’s waist. He was situated between Yuuri’s legs on the couch, his face hovering over those rock hard abs. Then, he added quietly, “You look so much better in person.”  The raven haired man looked up into his husband's beautiful blue eyes.

    “Vitya...we have to pack,” Yuuri said, kind of killing the mood.  Victor sighed.

    “I knooowww,” he whined, kissing his husband’s beautiful abs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support and I know that this is a short chapter. But, it's getting real. We are getting to the competitions! I am hoping to get chapters out for all three stories this weekend. The end of the school year was kind of ridiculously busy. But, fear not. I will not abandon these stories.


	19. Comings and Goings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skate America Short Program...

**Las Vegas, October 18th**

  


     “And the scores for Yuuri Katsuki…”  Yuuri and Victor sat on the bench in the Kiss and Cry area awaiting the score for his short program.  It didn't appear as quickly as usual. Yuuri was holding a poodle plush in his lap. It was less of a stuffed animal and a little more pillow-like. Yuuri had picked it up because it was obviously homemade, probably by a nearby fan.  An excited Japanese teenager, sitting with her grandmother, who was holding a Japanese flag, called to him excitedly when he picked up the gift. Yuuri put his hands together and bowed to her and her grandmother in gratitude.  

 

     The young man hugged the plushy tighter, his eyes growing wide.  His first score after the accident was 108.76! Victor threw his head back and his arms into the air. Tears of triumph had formed in the corners of eyes and a heart shaped grin made the older man’s face shine.  With Victor’s arms still in the air, Yuuri encircled his husband’s chest in a hug and Victor then pulled Yuuri’s head to his shoulder in his arms. Yuuri’s name moved to the number one position ahead of Kurt, who skated a very respectable 96.83, and another young American skater named Bryan, who had scored a 94.05.

 

     “That score is incredible, Yuuri!  You’ve fought so hard, I…” Victor spoke softly in his husband’s ear, until his voice hitched with emotion.

 

     “Thank you for everything Vitya,” Yuuri replied quietly and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek.  The couple stood and left the Kiss and Cry to talk to the press.  

 

     Victor handed Yuuri his bottle of water as they walked, the younger man finished it quickly.  He was hoping to get away with a short interview so that he could catch Phichit, who would skate in about another ten minutes.  The couple was happy to spot Marooka and walked toward the Japanese reporter immediately after spotting him.

 

     “Marookasan, arigato zaimas,” Yuuri bowed slightly and continued in english, “...for the story about my recovery.”

 

     “Katsukisan, you made your point yourself with that tremendous performance,” Marooka said, returning the bow in a show of respect.  “It was an honor to be invited to do the story in your home.”

 

     The trio found a room with a table and chairs and Yuuri answered some questions about his training since they had last met, while Victor went to find a vending machine.  Yuuri looked at his watch and heard Phichit’s music begin. Victor appeared with a sports drink for his husband.

 

     “Sorry, Marookasan.  Yuuri, you wanted to watch Phichit, didn’t you?” Victor said, handing him a drink.

 

     “Hai.  Gomen ‘nasai Marookasan,” Yuuri apologized and stood, bowing slightly, before grabbing his drink and heading toward the competitor’s seating area.  As the couple climbed the steps to the seating, they heard the crowd react. Victor caught Yuuri’s look of concern for his friend. Chris gave a little wave and Victor took Yuuri’s hand and led him to two seats beside the Swiss coach.

 

     “What happened,” Yuuri said in Chris’s ear.  “We missed it.”

     “Phichit almost missed his triple axel landing.  He put his hand down,” Chris said quietly, still focused on the Thai skater.

 

     Phichit’s song for his Short Program was _The Typewriter_ , by Leroy Anderson. The whimsical song suited him perfectly.  His costume was reminiscent of something an office worker would wear, white shirt, black pants, and suspenders, but the top button of the shirt was undone and there were definitely some sparkles on the shoulders and chest of the shirt.

 

     Victor grabbed Yuuri’s hand when Phichit went into the set up for his quad salchow. Something wasn’t right.  Phichit got all of his rotations, but rolled out of his landing on the ice.

 

     “Yuuri...he didn’t even try to stick that landing,” Victor whispered into his husband’s ear.

 

     “I know,” Yuuri replied, slipping his hand into Victor’s, “I believe he has one more jump.”

 

     Phichit popped the last quad into a double and Yuuri couldn’t mistake the look of pain in Phichit’s landing, which was right in front of where they were sitting.

 

     “Damn.  Getting older sucks,” Yuuri heard Chris murmur.

 

     “He’s 25, he’s still like a baby,” Victor said, incredulous.  Chris chuckled.

 

     “Victor, you are an enigma, my friend. Most of us were done landing quads long before we were 30 years old,” Chris reached around in back of Yuuri and ruffled his old friend’s hair.

 

     “I was 31,” Victor mumbled.

 

     “Hmm?” Chris hummed.

     “My last quad…” Victor’s voice petered out as he noticed Yuuri tightening his grip on his hand.

 

     Yuuri was entirely focused on Phichit’s face as he entered his final pose.  He had seen that expression many times. He was in pain. The little crease that Phichit got between his eyebrows, even though he wore his 100 watt smile for the crowd, gave him away.  Tears threatened at the corners of Yuuri’s eyes as he got up and clapped for his friend. Chris and Victor stood up beside him, cheering. Soon the entire section followed suit.

 

     “I need to go talk to him,” Yuuri turned to leave his seat, but Victor stopped him, grabbing him in a hug from behind, he leaned in and talked softly in his lover’s ear.

 

     “Wait, love.  Let his coach do his job first. The medical staff may want to look at him,”  Victor wanted to add, _‘...and you need to calm down.’_ But, after all these years of dealing with Yuuri, he knew that wasn’t the approach to take.  

 

     Yuuri was a man who felt things deeply. It was why he was so beautiful to watch on the ice.  It was why Victor couldn’t keep his eyes off him when they danced in Sochi so many years ago.  Through the years, Victor had learned how to move those emotions to a better place, by being present for him and by using gentle touches to ground him.

 

     Victor looked down and saw one of the medical staff speaking to Phichit as they were leaving the Kiss and Cry.  Phichit, slightly limping, followed the woman. Yuuri was feverishly tapping away at his phone.

 

     Yuuri knew that Phichit’s score of an 82 probably counted him out of the Grand Prix Final. Phichit’s passion was always for the people of Thailand. He worked with kids in Bangkok, doing camps for disadvantaged students, just to teach them the joy of skating.  He lived for planning the yearly Ice Spectacular program that he founded there, drawing big names in the skating world every year. The ice show had a fantastic reputation of treating the skaters very well. What they didn’t know, was how much Phichit did behind the scenes, like making sure the skater’s had gift baskets in their rooms and that the hospitality behind the scenes was on point.  This last year was the first year that Victor and Yuuri had not participated since it had been founded. Yuuri knew that he probably hadn’t rested enough over the summer and bet that his tendonitis had become chronic.

 

**Yuuri:  You never could sit still, could you? It’s okay to let yourself heal.**

 

**Phichit:  Celestino and I always knew that this was probably a farewell tour, my friend.**

 

Yuuri gasped.  _‘How is this even possible.  How can a simple case of tendonitis be the end of my friend’s career, while I come back from being hit by a car?’_   Tears began to roll down Yuuri’s face.  Yuuri was hunched forward, clutching his phone.  Soon, he felt his husband’s grounding touch as he rubbed circles on his back.

 

**Phichit:  I’m trying to talk them out of taking me to the hospital to cast my ankle.  I want to skate one last time. Celestino is trying to rent an ice therapy machine for my room.**

 

**Yuuri:  Can we bring you some food at the hotel?**

 

**Phichit:  It’s going to take a while to get the ice therapy machine.  Let’s go out to eat. See if you can get reservations for Hatsumi.**

 

     “Phichit wants to go out to eat.  Is that okay?” Yuuri turned to Victor, who nodded with a smile.

 

     “Of course love,” Victor replied, still absentmindedly rubbing Yuuri’s back.  

     Chris was glancing at his phone when Yuuri turned his way.

 

     “Chris, do you and Kurt want to join us for dinner?  You could bring Gian…” Yuuri realized that he hadn’t seen Gian since they got here in Vegas.  

 

     “Yuuri, Chris and Gian broke up a while ago,” Victor said softly.  Yuuri turned a little pink.

 

     “It’s okay Yuuri,” Chris said kindly.  “We have a lot of catching up to do, don’t we?  It will just be me. Kurt is having dinner with his friends.”  Chris finished a text, said his goodbyes to the couple, and left the seating area, glancing down again at his phone, as he went.

 

     Yuuri opened up his reservation app and made 6:00 reservations for four at Hatsumi.  Yuuri texted Phichit the reservation information as they headed back to the hotel to freshen up before dinner.  

 

<<>>

 

**Chris:  How bad is it Mon chou?**

 

**Phichit:  jumps = pain**

 

**Chris:  Yeah, I know.  Are you really up for dinner?  We can eat in.**

 

**Phichit:  Whether I’m in the room or the restaurant, the pain is the same.**

**Chris:  Victor said his last quad was when he was 31.**

 

**Phichit:  I know. It was at my Ice Spectacular.  He did a quad flip. Yuuri had to cover his lower back in Icy Hot the rest of the week.**

 

**Chris:  Getting old sucks.  Is the med staff done with you?**

 

**Phichit:  Yeah.**

 

**Chris:  Wait for me there.**

<<>>

  


          Victor and Yuuri were the first to arrive.  The restaurant had a nostalgic smell for Yuuri. It reminded him of the times that his Father Toshiya grilled meat in the front of the Onsen during festivals.

 

     “Oh, wow,” Victor said, taking in the aroma of grilled meats, “This is going to be really good!”  Yuuri checked in with the hostess and she took them to their table. A few moments later, Phichit and Chris arrived together.  Phichit had a walking boot on his right leg.

     Yuuri looked at the menu like a kid in a candy shop.  

 

     “Victor, they have Housemade Tofu.  Oooh, can I order the Pork Kakuni?” Yuuri gushed.  Victor insisted on ordering a bunch of plates for the table to share and then everyone just chose their own skewered meat.

 

     Everyone enjoyed the grilled meat and the assortment of Japanese dishes.  

 

     “How does this compare to Mama Katsuki’s cooking Yuuri?” Chris teased.  Yuuri picked up a bit of the eggplant dish and put it on top of his rice to eat together.

 

     “It’s not bad actually, but my Kaasan is an amazing cook,” Yuuri said shrugging.

 

     “It’s hard to beat her dishes because they are cooked with love,” Victor said, “Hiroko Katsuki is rather a legend for her katsudon,” Victor dropped his voice to a whisper and leaned in as he shared, “Yuuri once told me that katsudon was better than sex.” Chris and Phichit laughed. 

 

     “Victoru, that’s not what I said,” Yuuri cried.

 

     “I don’t know Yuuri.  Yura was there. He heard it too,” Victor teased.  

 

     “Well, at the time, I didn’t have much to compare it with,” Yuuri muttered, taking a sip of his hot tea.  Victor nearly choked on his food laughing.  

 

     After they had finished eating, Victor noticed Chris casually take up Phichit’s hand on the table.  He smiled.

 

     “How long have you two been together?”  He asked, taking a sip of his coffee. Yuuri looked at Phichit, his mouth agape.

 

     “Well, remember that little project you gave me to find pictures to help Yuuri regain his memories?” Phichit said, looking over at Chris.

 

     “It was right at the same time that Gian asked me if it was okay to have an open relationship,” Chris said ironically.  Yuuri gasped.

 

     “Right?  Well that was my reaction too Yuuri,” Chris grew more contemplative.  “That might have been okay when I was younger, but that isn’t what I want anymore.”  Chris looked over at Phichit who had squeezed his hand. “We had a lot of three hour long skype calls.”

 

     “Then Chris spent three weeks in Thailand helping me with Ice Show chores,”  Phichit said fondly. “That’s when we really, officially became a couple. He’s met my whole family. They love him, of course.”

 

     “I’m not sure if your sister loves me or just my hair,” Chris said, feigning annoyance.  

 

     “Wait, so that picture of the girl on Chris’s back, that is your little sister Phichit?  Yuuri pulled the picture up on Instagram from the summer. “Wow, Hathai has grown up so much I didn’t recognize her!  The pink bow is a good look for you Chris,” Yuuri laughed.

 

     “Yuuri, Victor, I’m announcing my retirement tomorrow,” Phichit said. Chris gave his lover’s hand a squeeze in support.  “I wanted you to hear it from me first Yuuri and not from a press conference,” Phichit confided.

 

     “Josef Karpisek wants to retire, but he’s been hanging on till we can find another coach at the rink.  Phichit has agreed to move to Switzerland with me to help me coach,” Chris looked over at Phichit as he spoke. 

 

     ”The plan is to live in Thailand for May and June. I still want to do the camps and the Ice Show,” Phichit added.  Chris nodded as the thai man spoke. 

 

     “Chris, Phichit, I wish you both every happiness,” Victor said. 

 

<<>>

 

     That night, Yuuri lay awake staring at the ceiling.  It was like his mind was unable to turn off. _‘I can’t even identify what I am feeling.  It seems like fewer and fewer of my friends are still competing.  Why me? Why was I able to return and get such a high score when my dear friend was taken out by tendonitis? It just seems so ridiculous, so unfair,”_ he sighed.  Yuuri reached out for Victor, touching his chest.  The japanese man heard an intake of breath and felt a warm arm circle around him.

 

     “Come closer love,”  Victor breathed. Yuuri nestled into his lover’s chest with a yawn.  Victor’s clean smell from his shower was familiar and comforting. Other thoughts began to drift away and soon there was just Victor, warm and present, just for him.


End file.
